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Author Topic: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?  (Read 9677 times)

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Offline Bella_Love

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I was raped by a former friend (21 yrs of age) who tested HIV negative the week of the rape and is with the police. I developed all the anxiety symptoms as diagnosed.. but 2 months later of the rape, I started coughing with a sore throat and sneezing. I had also developed a abscess near my bikini area which healed very quickly in 1 week. Ive not had no prior history of medical illness and is fairly healthy. Im 21 years old btw. I had no fever, no swollen lymph nodes for 3 months from what the xrays/ct scan said as well as my doctors doing a check, nothing that could indicate the flu other than a cough, sneeze, and sore throat. They say, stress made me sick especially with the cold weather around the month of May. The doctors really thought I was going crazy and had high hopes of me being HIV NEGATIVE. Still, because of the symptoms, I just could not believe them. I wacked by brains out by learning so much about the disease and even my pyschiatrist who is also a HIV specialist thought my worrying is beyond of all the worrying. I got tested at 1 week, 7 week, and 13 weeks and 3 days. All negative even after symptoms!

Is the skin abscess (Healed very fast with antibiotics) which I read that HIV positive people get regularly along with the cough that lasted, was that HIV conversion at the 2nd month going into the 3rd month?

Like I said, I tested NEGATIVE for HIV ANTIBODY 1/2 (ELISA blood test at Kaiser Permanente Hospital) at 13 weeks and 3 days or (3 months and 1 week) or 95 days, I've never had symptoms like this before, but I do know that I caused myself a brief amount of stress, anxiety, and depression (all diagnosed by doctors). can I move on with my life for good or get tested again in another 3 months which would be 6 months total? I also tested negative for all other STD'S. Negative/normal.. Doctors say I am HIV NEGATIVE at 13 weeks and perfectly healthy. Still, should I wait 3 more months for the 6 month testing as most doctors and websites mention?

Thank you so much!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2008, 02:39:21 pm »
You don't need further testing. You are conclusively HIV negative.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2008, 02:53:47 pm »
You are reliably HIV negative. Period.

If you have continuing symptoms that are troubling you that's something to discuss with your doctor.

You've been through a harrowing experience so it's no surprise if some of it is reflected in stress on your body. Check things out with your doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with HIV.

Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2008, 11:39:52 pm »
I did forget to mention,

2 weeks after the rape, I developed these pins and needles sensation. The doctors all
mention it is all anxiety. The symptoms would come and go, but it came back. Mostly this tingling feeling is of my feet/toes. I read online that HIV positive people experience this feeling called neuropathy. Now, he tested negative, and I tested negative at 13 weeks and 3 days.

I want to put this behind once and for all, I had a persistent cough that lasted for almost a month and half now, and this pins and needles sensation of my toes. Is this HIV late seroconversion and should I test again?

If I test again, it would be HIV test at 15 weeks and 1 day? I was thinking about testing using a PCR or NAAT test this time instead of ELISA.

After this question, I have nothing else to ask. I don't want to go back to the "what ifs" again. I just want to move on for good. Thank you so much again!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2008, 05:10:02 am »
Reread the replies that you have already been given. You don't have HIV. Seek professional mental help to help you move on with your life.

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2008, 06:32:18 pm »
I guess I should celebrate?

I will try to let that sink into my head that I am HIV negative. It has about 75%. But the rape and all of it, just makes it so hard to believe that I came out of this HIV NEGATIVE. I am seeking justice to put my former friend that I once cared for in prison for awhile. I still feel symptoms, but I will discuss that with my doctor & my psychiatrist. HOPEFULLY, I am not the rare bunch to test positive later. I cannot help but to get tested at another 3 months which would be 6 months for me for peace of mind. If any other moderators/members have any further advice or encouragement.. please feel free to post. I always enjoy reassurance from those who know what they're talking about.

Otherwise, I AM DONE! I want to move on now.

Thank you so much & have a good rest of the year! xoxoxo

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2008, 03:43:26 pm »
I'm back again.. Concerned once again! :(

Ive been feeling this weird pressure on top of my head. Feels like someone put a band around my head where I am not getting any circulation.. or it feels my scalp is being pulled off ..or someone is putting heavy books on center of my head.. i have no headaches..and don't feel dizzy.. trying to see if this is anxiety, brain tumor or HIV.

i also have a slight sore throat still its very slight..   i was tested 1 week, 7 weeks, and at 13 weeks and 3 days. ALL NEGATIVE..  and the guy who raped me (former friend that i knew), tested negative the week of the rape incident(he is in jail). Someone please tell me.. btw..im a female..   so I hear transmission of HIV is easier for a male to woman..

is this head feeling HIV? i have a appt with my doctor..and maybe seeing about a HIV test..   if i wait 1 more week.. itll  be a HIV test at 4 months! should i get a 4 months HIV test? im so scared.. :'(

still no signs of flu or sweating or anything abnormal... the cough went away but now i got this head feeling.. and its gonna be 4 months in about a week. so i guess thats a good sign?

okay.. after this question.. no more for me..!! bc im so sick of worrying about this disease. yes i get help with a psychiatrist..  i just need reassurance.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2008, 05:37:49 pm »
You are conclusively negative. Keep working with your mental help professional.

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2008, 02:44:02 am »
Omg.. will someone help me plz?

So, tomorrow the 22nd. It'll be exactly 4 months since the rape. I started coughing a little bit last night along with sneezing. My immune system must be weak again for the second time.. along with this weird feeling in my head (as stated in previous post above this one)..

Is this HIV? Should I get tested again? The attacker tested negative the week of the rape. I tested negative at 1 week, 7 weeks, and 13 weeks and 3 days. I AM A FEMALE, so yes I know transmission is higher on my part. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow for my head, should I go in for another HIV test. My immune system must be weak because of the virus that is possibly hiding causing me to get sick again.. ?????? Omg I am so freaking out, I want to cry! :( I seriously want to move on.

No night sweats, no swollen lymph nodes, no fevers, just slight cough and allergies starting up last night.  I think these are HIV symptoms at 17 weeks and 5 days (4 months)? I am certain to go get tested again. I was trying to hold on out to test again for 6 months which is 2 months away for me!

Okay, I am sick of this worrying, I do not want to come back on here anymore if I am certain that this is just my allergies flaring up. 

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2008, 03:05:11 am »
Bella,

When you see your doctor ask him or her to refer you to a therapist who specialises in working with sexual assault victims. You do not have HIV infection, your test results are conclusive. You are HIV negative.

However it is clear that you are suffering from some mental health issues, most likely arising from the trauma you experienced when you were raped. We simply cannot assist you with that. Do yourself a favour and get some professional help.

MtD

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2008, 03:37:06 am »
If any other moderators/members have any further advice or encouragement.. please feel free to post. I always enjoy reassurance from those who know what they're talking about... once again.

Otherwise, I AM DONE! I think I am suffering from allergies. I know I have been making trips on here possibly every 2 weeks. I will stay off for good now..

Thank you so much..I feel better a tad bit better ..just needed some resassurrance. xoxoxo
 
 
 

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2008, 03:40:19 am »
And I am sorry for being so consistent. I was diagnosed by the doctors with OCD, anxiety and post stress trauma disorder because of it. so I sound like I am crazy but I am not. Thanks for understanding. And I have been seeing a psychiatrist since the week of the rape. Thanks for your help quick and eased answer.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2008, 09:44:09 am »
Bella, there's really nothing more we can do for you here. We focus on HIV specifically. Happily that is not an issue for you.

Keep on working with your therapist to sort things out so that you won't always be burdened by your terrible experience.

Good luck.
Andy Velez

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2008, 06:47:09 pm »
MY HIV TEST AT 18 WEEKS (4 months) WAS NEGATIVE!!! when they say 6 weeks is good to know, 3 months is conclusive, STOP TESTING.. the results won't change.. !!


I just want to let everyone know that worrying about HIV can truly wack the hell out of your brains. Believe me, coming from a College student from a University who got raped by a friend I knew.. trust me, I would of never thought it would of happened to me. I thought I am too smart, a strong gal who is very opinionated and speak my mind. Don't drink nor do drugs ever, and well, the rape happened to me. I developed a huge fear of HIV and had to seek a pscyhiatrist not only to move on with life, but what bothered me the most was possibly contracting HIV. I spent 7 days a week online researching on HIV symptoms, I dropped my classes the last semester of school, could not handle having a job, could not drive and had to be driven around for months because all I can eat, sleep, breathe, think was HIV. I've gone to my doctor over 50 times within 4 months and ended up in the ER over 5 times. I was then diagnosed with Anxiety, depression, post trauma stress disorder, and OCD all because of the rape that my friend did to me.  He has been reported and is in jail!

Anyhow, I just want to let people know, I understand the worrying and fear. Although the guy who did this to me turned out to be HIV negative the week of the rape when he was reported to the police, Like I said, the ER over 5 times due to panic attacks, the doctor visits over 50 times. I really thought I had HIV. I had over 2 pages worth of symptoms from the burning, numbness feeling of the hands/feet, I had caught the allergies and a lasting cough of 2 months. I TESTED NEGATIVE FOR ALL STDS.  I never not once had a fever, but I felt hot n sticky. Ive sweated like twice due to hot weather where I live in California. I had trouble sleeping, I lost a lil bit a weight not that much. I did not have a headache, but I sure had a pressure in the had feeling. I got a cold sore on my lip which is HSV-1, which I always had all my life but haven't had a cold sore on my lip in 10 years, but my immune system was so down, I ended up triggering the virus and BAM it on my lip the following week. I went thru some hell the past months worrying about HIV. Constantly sick and never could get better. I did not have much flu symptoms, but I definitely had the chronic allergies with sore throat. Doctors checked my x rays, ct scans for swollen lymph nodes, CBC, and could never find anything and say it's all ANXIETY. BUT I was guarantee and sure I had it. I planned my life *IM A FEMALE* by the way, so I knew I was doomed. I made friends with HIV positive people, I figured I will have to drop out of college and get ready to prepare myself for the new life of HIV. I just could not get it out my head. I spoke with over 5 HIV doctors, 2 HIV specialists, my doctor, and the Emergency Room ER doctors/nurses, everyone kept telling me, "YOU ARE OKAY, YOU ARE HIV NEGATIVE! STOP STRESSING YOURSELF OUT, STOP IT!" That is all they would tell me over and over. I only had 1 partner who was my boyfriend only who had been tested for STDS/HIV, so as you can tell, the rape ruined my relationship, it ruined my life. I NEVER HAD SEX WITH RANDOM PEOPLE, I always believed in condoms, I never slept around in my life, I never do drugs and I only drink on special occasions which is hardly ever, so I said "WHY ME!?" WHY AM I WORRYING ABOUT HIV? I NEVER PUT MY LIFE AT RISK EVER.." I remember wanting to commit suicide and I am a female. I thought I would be doomed to have kids, who would want me, blah blah blah...

Well guess what? my attacker, like I said, tested HIV NEGATIVE. And I tested 1 WEEK (1ST TIME testing since rape), 7 WEEKS (2 MONTHS) , 13 WEEKS (3 MONTHS), 18 WEEKS (4 MONTHS) and I just received my test


HIV NEGATIVE! I WILL MOVE ON FOR GOOD. I AM DONE, DO NOT LET HIV RUIN YOUR LIFE, PLZ, DO NOT GO BY SYMPTOMS LIKE I DID. I am glad I gotten all the support from friends, family, my doctors, ER doctors/nurses for helping me stay calm, the HIV specialists, my psychiatrist, thanks to www.aidsmeds.com forum boards, www.thebody.com ..


I AM DONE FOR GOOD... I PLAN TO CONTINUE TO GET TESTED AT 5 MONTHS, 6 MONTHS, AND EVERY MONTH LOL.. I am not ashamed anymore to get a HIV test AND I want to say please do not give up. Have faith, I prayed before and prayed still after the rape and still I am blessed. Please, don't base symptoms alone for HIV, please do not.. Out of this experience, I made some wonderful friend with HIV positive people, I see life in a different perspective. I realized that HIV+ people are like us, and had the same fears, just had a different result. Please, appreciate your life and never take it for granted. I honestly would not worry anymore about anything because you got people fighting for their life, scared and devastated of different illnesses and hear you are sleeping around making stupid decisions. I am now back with my boyfriend and I am going starting my new year at school fresh. I will be getting my BA Degree next year, plz, think about others and how bad things can be.. appreciate your life!

Testing at 4 months results:

HIV at 1 week, 7 week, 13 weeks, 18 weeks - All Negative
Syphilis - Negative
Gonorrhea- Negative
Chlamydia - Negative
Genital Herpes - Negative
Trinomonias - Negative
HPV - Normal

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #14 on: August 02, 2008, 06:57:37 pm »
I'm glad this worked out well for you Bella and that we have been able to help.

Best regards,

MtD :)

Offline Bella_Love

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Possibly poked with a needle at the fair?
« Reply #15 on: September 22, 2008, 01:06:33 pm »
I suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder), PTSD, my anxiety is to the extreme and yes I have been diagnosed with it by the doctor. But Please help me.

I think someone poked a needle on my arm at a family carnival fair on saturday. It's very family oriented and I don't recall being aware of any gangs (maybe a few), no drug users that i am aware of nor prostitutes of any sort. HOWEVER, the carnival did not check people at the door only but the women, so what if someone carried a needle to the fair!! I was walking and then I felt a slight pinched on my left arm. I don't know if it was because  my friend moved me out there way b/c of the crowd walking towards me, but I FELT a pinched. I also had my purse mid of my arm so maybe it pulled the hair off my arm? Now I think I see a super duper tiny scab mark but when I try to scratch it off to see if it was a scab, it won't come off so maybe it was a mark from a long time ago, but I did not see any blood the day of the pinched nor when I CAME home. Not a blood drop at all...I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and so i was possibly more noticeable to people bc I had a pink shirt and on.  OMG it was at night time too, and I was walking when this happened, I wasn't walking slow and I don't recall seeing anybody that close to me. My arm wasn't red, or bruised like from a needle and I didnt see blood where I was possibly poked.. BUT I AM DEATHLY SCARED IT HAD HIV on it if I was poked.

It is now monday and I am deadly worried I could of contracted HIV and others, but especially HIV. Please help me. what should I do? BTW, I'm a female, so I here this HIV virus is very easily transmitted to us. I also woke up this morning almost 2 days after the event and felt nausea and dirrahea.

I am so worried, I am worrying myself sick and think I am going to die. Help me please!! :'( what should I do? should i go to the doctor? this event took place outside..and I KNOW IT WASNT a mosquito bite or bee sting.. my arm wasn't even red where the poke was!

I'm from California. THE fair is in california..im not from a foreign country, but I am aware of the percentage of U.S. hiv transmission cases thru the health dept.

 AND YES, i am the same girl who posted 2 months ago on here b/c of a rape that I was involved in.. it was by someone I knew.. u know how worried I was about that and I finally was able to move on and enjoy life after my 18 weeks (NEGATIVE) HIV TEST than I have ever enjoyed life before thanks to poz forum boards and my doctors.. NOW IM GOING THRU THIS AND WORRIED ABOUT A NEEDLE POKE.. my life is screwed up again!
« Last Edit: September 22, 2008, 01:26:25 pm by Bella_Love »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Possibly poked with a needle at the fair?
« Reply #16 on: September 22, 2008, 01:28:40 pm »
I've merged your threads. You need to follow our rule and keep all of your entries in the same thread.

As far as your latest concern, we need to stop this one right now. You're grabbing on to something that has absolutely no basis in HIV science or the reality of how transmission takes place. This is just a bunch of what ifs that your mind has put together.

This kind of response on your part is something for you to work out with your therapist or whomever you are seeing for treatment of your general anxiety disorder. It is not an HIV situation and we're not going to get into a discussion of the details as if it is. If you aren't already seeing a professional mental health professional for help, then I strongly suggest you do that.

This is not an HIV situation. Period. End of story.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2008, 01:31:36 pm by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #17 on: September 22, 2008, 01:50:25 pm »
I am sorry about making a new thread. I figured b/c it had nothing to do with my last post, that I would just post a new thread. But I apologize for that...

I am replying b/c somehow I am still worried after reading ur post..bc I seriously felt a pinched on my left arm where the part bends like the elbow area, but I also had my purse over in that area.. maybe bc i see a tiny mark that looks like scab over it, but i tried to scratch it off and it wont scratch off, but I was going to head on over to my doctor or ER and explain to them this situation.. I don't want to look stupid or crazy, but I really felt a pinched or someone poked me with a needle.. I just would like to know if I should asked the doctor for PEP medication just to be on the safe side, b/c otherwise I won't rush over to the doctor.

I AM so scared out my mind.. If a doctor gets poked with a needle and gets HIV, I know a poke at the fair could happened to me..  that is why I am so worried. I know you cannot even picture what happened b/c you weren't there, but I just want to know if this is a risk I should not take lightly or take a HIV test but it is too soon to take one.

I was walking slow, but what is suprising is the person aim so perfect. but i don't see any blood, and i dont recall seeing a needle that fast. so maybe I'm going crazy, but I felt a poke. I no longer see a therapist b/c after 6 months of seeing one, life was almost grand til the needle poke. I am worried to wake up from my sleep bc I don't want to wake up to ARS symptoms. but today I did with dirrahea and nausea and feel the HIV virus is really attacking me.

This all happened 2 days ago.. so YES to PEP or NO? ugh im so deathly scared out of my mind. I'm so young only 22 years old and feel life is so over with now.. and I want to have children after I graduate from college, but I hear this HIV virus is so easily transmitted to us women!!  :(

Offline Ann

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #18 on: September 22, 2008, 02:10:23 pm »
Bella,

NO, you do not need PEP.

It's rare for health care workers to be infected following a needle-stick accident. There's only been around 100 known cases in the US in the entire 25+ years of this pandemic - and that includes before the advent of PEP.

Random needle stabbings are something of an urban myth. And not one person has ever been infected from the kind of needle-stick you imagine happened to you.  You're not going to be the first. I suggest you talk over this irrational fear with your therapist.

As for women getting infected more easily, this pertains to anal or vaginal intercourse only. Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently,  and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple. Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

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HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Bella_Love

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #19 on: September 22, 2008, 02:20:08 pm »
Thank you so much for your expertise both you and Andy. I just called my therapist for more help on this situation b/c I need to overcome this.. I apologized for offending anyone. If anyone else has any comments or concerns, feel free to post.. otherwise, I'm done. And I will tryyyy not to come back on here with any off the wall stories.. I went thru a rape a few months ago and finally when I was over that, I just panic over a possible needle poke at a family fair. It just made me more aware of my surroundings and yes any pinch or pull, my eyes and ears are so wide open to see and hear. I am very cautious and alert now than I have ever been in my life and i get worried to the maximum! Thanks for ur support..

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #20 on: September 22, 2008, 02:39:06 pm »
Your feelings and sensitivity to situations is perfectly understandable considering how recently you survived a rape. However, none of that changes the reality of your current concern and that you have absolutely nothing to worry about in relation to HIV. Really.

Work with a professional who can strengthen your ability to deal with the feelings and fears you have. We cannot do that for you here.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Bella_Love

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Need reassurance about this possible needle prick?? ;(
« Reply #21 on: October 06, 2008, 03:12:12 am »
Please help me.

I was not drunk or on drugs at the family fair.. I don't drink. I do not smoke..So I am fully aware of what was around me... Ive never done drugs in my life and I have a phobia of needles, but I honestly felt as if someone pricked me with a needle. I know that feeling..

Now I am worried.. This incident at the fair of someone possibly pricking me with a needle happened on Sept 20 of 2008. 3 days after, I felt a weird sensation in my throat and pain in my limbs and on October 2nd, my throat is killing me. It is a pain in my throat, not a sore throat, but a pain on the right side of my throat like if my tonsil is severly swollen on the right. I have not experienced a fever, but I would not know if I have not checked my temperature yet. I haven't started sweating and I am scared I am officially HIV positive from a possible needle prick. i do not know nor seen someone prick me, but I felt a prick.. now I am worried.. I don't know what to do anymore..is this HIV? please help me..

this past weekend, all I did was lay next to my boyfriend (naked) and cried yesterday (he is the man I hope to marry after we graduate from college) and I cannot seem to not think I am HIV positive from a possible needle prick at the fair.. I don't want him to leave me if I am positive.. We did not have sex at all even though we layed next to each other.. I lost all desires physically and emotionally b/c of the possible needle prick and today he woke up with possible fever, sore throat, nausea, headache... I know he did not give me this pain in my throat, but I'm wondering if HIV is just attacking us and did I unknowlingly pass HIV thru kissing if I have HIV bc of the pain in my throat and pain in the limbs.. I am so worried, I do not know what to do.. I lost all hope in life now. It has been 15 days since the possible needle prick at the family fair and the pain in my throat is a dead giveaway of ARS symptoms.  What do I do now? Help me please.. I NEED REASSURANCE!!

if this pain in my throat is not HIV.. i will not come back on here ever again.. too much bad crap happened to me this year and I feel this is the last.. it cannot get anymore worst than this..  i need advice..help me please.. i do not want to come back on here anymore.. i need reassurance or something. I have appointments with my doctors this week..so as u can tell..im pretty worried..

Offline Ann

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Re: Survived a Rape, now can I move on for good with this result?
« Reply #22 on: October 06, 2008, 03:29:15 am »
Bella,

You've been coming here for long enough to know that hiv is NOT transmitted through kissing. Hiv is not attacking you or your boyfriend. You did not have a risk with this alleged needle-pricking.

If you and/or your boyfriend feel unwell, see a doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv.

Again, I urge you to talk these irrational fears over with your therapist. There's nothing more we can do for you here. If you've read the Welcome thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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