need help

[asahi]

first i'm a gay male and i fell so bad lately because i got to know a guy  and we have sex as i know i should not have done it  first  ,  i am scare  as i never really come out  i mean i'm  pretty discreet , the guy perform a blow job on me then we kisss and rubbing around untill we came , but i never give him oral ,   i notice that this guy have  bad breath i guess he must have some ulcer  or something else ,       WHat to do now as tthere are lots of his saliva on my penis and my body , i understand oral sex is a low risk  pls Advice am i Ok .

[Andy Velez]

Asahi, you understand wrong about oral sex. Getting a blowjob is absolutely no risk whatsoever. No guy has ever been confirmed to have been infected with HIV that way. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

As for giving oral, although we get reports from time to time of someone saying they became infected in that manner, those incidents never seem to hold up under scientific scrutiny. And longterm studies of sero-discordant couples have shown that not a single sero-negative partner became infected although there was lots of mutual unprotected oral.

So you are worrying needlessly.

The most important thing for you to keep in mind is that if you have anal intercourse, the insertive partner must wear a condom. Unprotected anal sex is the only confirmed risk for transmission for men who have sex with men.

Kissing, touching, mutual masturbation and all the various non-intercourse activities are NOT a risk for HIV.

With this incident of yours I don't see any need for testing nor for further concern about HIV.

Cheers.

[asahi]

Oh i am feeling better now , i will trust you Andy i hope whatever you mention is true luckily i have found this site rather than searching for other site where it will scare me off , Andy hope you dont mind is about my friend because he had sex with a guy where no condom being use for anal intercourse  which last about 4 minits time, he told me the guy will probaly is HIV+ and also this was his first time that he never use a condom , the reason why i want to ask for him is that he doesnt seems to care about himself and dont want to talk much about it , i am worry about him will he get infected for being the very first time of no using a condom  Thanks andy.

[asahi]

Oh sorry forget to mention that my friend is a top and that guy is a bottom , thanks

[Andy Velez]

You have the right idea to be worried about your friend, Asahi. He is gambling with his life everytime he has anal intercourse in which the insertive partner is not wearing a condom. Although the risk is lower for a top, it is still a very real risk for transmission and higher if the insertive partner is not circumcised.

Your friend should definitely get tested at 13 weeks after the most recent unprotected incident.

[asahi]

Ok Andy , i will made sure and push him to go test for Hiv , ........... i hope that he will be FINE ,  anyway this is his first encounter of such a high risk sex .........  will first time encounter will end up he will be Hiv+ , i mean have anyone being infected and become HIV+ just after one single brief time of unprotected anal sex 

[Ann]

asahi,

Yes, it can happen after just one brief time. I hope you and your friend both start using condoms every time, no exceptions. They're proven to prevent hiv infection.

Ann

[asahi]

thanks ANN , sigh..... i am feeling sad lately because i had read or search all the others site on internet about oral sex , first i understand that what Andy have already told me about oral sex risk .........is just that it is very annoying or disturbing when seeing mostly ALL others site are saying oral sex is still rsky or low risk ........and they discourage or recommand to have oral sex unless a condom is put on , is very difficult to put on a condom for oral sex as nobody would really like to put it so when it happens to be like i want put on the condom but the other guy will not like it or they found out to be a bit wierd and they will just turn me off or go away . I just dont know what to do........ i always wanted to have a safe sex where i can enjoy fully without any fear 

[Ann]

asahi,

Are you aware that you're MUCH more likely to end up with gonorrhea in your throat from giving blowjobs than you are hiv? You didn't GIVE a blowjob anyway, you GOT one. You are NOT going to end up with hiv because you GOT blown. No way, no how.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER BEING BLOWN, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann