POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: jessie_tr on May 02, 2014, 04:11:05 pm
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My friend got a preliminary positive from the ID doc who was supposed to be handling their PrEP. It was their 3 months follow-up bloodwork that came back positive (we strongly suspect that they were positive when they started PrEP, just still in the window period). They have had unprotected anal sex with someone who turned out to be positive, so it's very likely that the Western Blot will be a confirmed true positive at the appointment next week. I am going to go to the appointment with them, and I took the rest of that day off work so that I could be there for them. What would you have wanted from your loved ones the day of your diagnosis? I know everyone is different, but I also think your hindsight and perspective could be very valuable.
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Jessie, I suggest you use your intuition about your friends to guide you as to how to respond. You want to be supportive without being intrusive.
You can always just say "I'd like to do anything that would helpful." See what they say.
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They specifically asked the doctor to call as soon as the results came in, rather than wait for the appointment. So we found out Friday afternoon that it was a true positive. It's been a crazy couple of days, an emotional roller-coaster but we'll make it through. Thank you.
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When I first diagnosed, I told my housemate and friend; and she became the emotional anchor though the whole roller-coaster ride. There was a lot of reassurances from her that everything will be alright (even if she didn't really have a clue). Not just verbal, but physical reassurances as well. Hugs, sharing beer, sharing food. These actions mean a lot or little depending on how your social circle perceives HIV. For me it was a big gesture and reading some of the forum posts here, I can only thank my lucky stars that she didn't throw me out of the house and bleached her floors with Chlorox....
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I was glad that i was not alone
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I think what everyone would want, is to know they are loved unconditionally and that you will be there for them, because they matter and you love them. Often, we get too hung up on "doing something," instead of just providing unconditional support. Unconditional love, lays the foundation for a support system that can adapt to any situation, because its foundation is unshakable.
Joe
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i remember at the time i was told that i was hiv+,i wanted so desperately to tell my mom.Even though she didn't know anything about the disease,she would have listened and given me the support and love i needed.You know MOMS can fix anything and always make you feel better!!!!I was advised my my other siblings not to tell her,they said at the time it would have killed her and i guess they eventually convinced me,i could never have lived with the guilt if she had died as a result.Kinda sounds dumb,i know but at the time i was so scared and clueless.This past MOTHER'S DAY ,i finally told her....and then i put some flowers on her grave.I wanted her to know that i'm ok and doing well and above all that i survived .
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I was very lucky and went to talk myself to sleep with 2 best friend, both are still around One is my best best friend and I love her to bits.
Other than that a trust fund with a healthy 100.000.000 £ would not go a miss.
Plus remember sugar is good for shock .