Am I falling head over heels for him or just crazy?!

[Dennis]

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way this way about anyone.  About 5 months ago my  friend told me about how a mutual friend of ours (actually, more of an acquaintance to me) tested positive.  I’ve hung out with this person on occasion within our circle of friends, but never really felt any major attraction towards him until recently.  The three of us went to Vegas a few weeks ago and I really got to know him better and told him of my status.  The weeks prior to our trip he’s called me a couple of times (he’s never called me in the three years we’ve known each other) to discuss what shows and such we were going to see and would on occasion throw in a sexual innuendo.  Our first night in Vegas, of course after partying, there was a lot of touching and feeling.  More like flirting, I guess.  The three of us went out this past Friday night, and again, there was more of the occasional flirting.

He’s in his forties and is normally attracted to guys in their twenties.  He’s actually been dating someone for the past couple of months or so.  It doesn’t appear to be too too serious though.

So here’s my problem.  For the past couple of weeks he’s constantly on my mind.  I’m not sure if it’s because I really have an attraction for him or because I know he’s HIV+.  Am I making sense?  Probably not.  Anyways, everyone tells me I should just ask him out to dinner.  I hesitate though ‘cause for one, deep down inside, I fear rejection and two, the three of us are booked to go on a cruise in January and I don’t want things to become awkward if the feelings aren’t mutual.       

God, I feel like I’m in HS again! 

[allopathicholistic]

So here’s my problem.  For the past couple of weeks he’s constantly on my mind.  I’m not sure if it’s because I really have an attraction for him or because I know he’s HIV+. 

oooo, sounds exciting..  ...........the way I see it, you *DO* have an attraction for him otherwise you would have written stuff in your post like oh - he's the antithesis of EVERYTHING i look for in a guy physically (and yeah i read the part about him being in his 40s and you usually go for 20s). ... and shared what you don't care for physically about him in detail .... 

this sounds too exciting to pass up! keep us posted!

[lydgate]

Post a picture of him and let us decide for you.  Just kidding of course. Totally understand what you're saying, your dilemma. Similar thing happened to me. Met someone many months ago, not initially attracted to him though he seemed nice enough; until I found out he was positive as well. (He later told me that he wasn't initially that attracted to me either.) I wondered, as well: is it just the poz thing? Well, it may have been at first, but as we got to know each other the attraction had nothing to do with serostatus, I'm confident of that. It didn't work out, but that's a diiferent story.

Anyway, what I'm saying is -- what's the harm in getting to know him better? If the attraction is real, it'll only deepen as you get to know all the wonderful things about him. If it's just a transient sort of attraction, well, you'll find that out too (no?). And Dennis, with your description of what's been going on -- phone calls, touching, flirting -- I don't think you need to fear rejection. Seriously. And it's one meal to start with, fer cryin' out loud.

January is faaaaaar away; are you going to pass on this because of potential awkwardness six months from now?

I was talking to a friend about this the other day -- dating "against type." I mean, we spend so much time (I do anyway) pining over or chasing after men who immediately get our eyes and crotches excited. How often is it worth it? And dating against type seems to have made several people I know very happy.

Being in high school again is wonderful; pretending I'm in twelfth grade is the way I survive grad school part deux (much to the horror of my dignified 22-year-old peers).

And btw, how's the new business?

Jay

[Alain]

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[david25luvit]

Dennis...

                  There's an old saying," Nothing ventured...nothing gained" and I'm a firm believer.  It sounds like you are attracted to him.  At this point it doesn't really matter WHY.  The only way you're going to find out is to take a leap of faith.  ASK HIM OUT.  Who knows...he may feel the same way about you.  And then again he may turn out to be the best friend you ever had........either way...  Go For IT!