searching for some advice..

[i_speak_azerty]

Hi,

first of all I would like to thank all of you for keeping this useful website nice and clean. A lot of good relevant information is available here. Keep up the good work.

I'm from Europe and my English is not very good, hopefully it will not bother you too much.

I will try to write my story as clear as possible.

A month ago I was for 2 weeks on a business trip to the US. During the weekend, I went out for a drink and met 3 people (1 guy, 2 girls) who were very amusing. Later that night, the couple left and I went on with the other girl. I was staying in a hotel and she could not get home that night (was living in another state). I offered her the second bed in my room and she agreed. We were both very drunk and that was the primary mistake of course. I also have girlfriend back home so this makes it even more complex.

When we arrived at the hotel, we ended up in the same bed, drunk and in need for cuddling. Before we got started, I asked her is she was "clean". She confirmed. She had her period and had a tampon placed. Then I fingered her clitoris and afterwards my glans penis was frequently against her vagina (not in). Afterwards, I masturbated myself and her fluids were on my fingers.

I had very light abrasion on my glans penis.. coming from an inflammation that I have had 2 or 3 days ago (I use corticosteroids to treat that).

After a week and still going on now, I got symptoms like headaches starting from my neck, shaking hands, diarrhea for 2 days and painful eyes who react to light. I also suffer some undefined muscle pain in arms and legs an a dry cough. I also feel very tired, slightly dizzy and nausea.

When I came back I had sex with my girlfriend for many times because I was unaware that it was possible to get HIV when there was no penetration. Then I started looking for the symptoms I experienced and here I am now. I feel very stressed and preparing to go to a test center. They recommend 6 weeks before testing and this is the 4th week now. Do you think it is useful to test after 30 days?  Or is there no risk?

I also emailed the US girl to ask if she had HIV or other STD. She told me she had HPV about 6 months ago and has a chronic sinus infection that lowers her immune system.

Thank you for taking your time and reading this. It means a lot to me.

[Ann]

I was unaware that it was possible to get HIV when there was no penetration.

Azert,

The fact is, hiv transmission occurs INSIDE the human body, so penetration does need to take place.

Nothing you did with this woman put you at risk for hiv infection. What puts you at risk is unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, no matter who it is with, even your girlfriend - unless you have tested together with her and you know for FACT - not assumption - that you are both hiv negative.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You do not need to test over the incident with the stranger, but you do need to test three months past your last incident of unprotected intercourse, no matter who it was with unless you have tested hiv negative together.

And by the way, when you ask someone if they are "clean" to find out what their hiv status is, you imply that those of us who are hiv positive are "dirty". I'm not dirty - I shower daily.

Ann

[i_speak_azerty]

And by the way, when you ask someone if they are "clean" to find out what their hiv status is, you imply that those of us who are hiv positive are "dirty". I'm not dirty - I shower daily.

I'm sorry about the word choice, you even make me laugh with your answer.  I told you my english is not that good.  I'll wash my  mouth now.  sorry!

As for the incident I had, I have learned a lot of things about safe sex and this is a very important lesson for me because unprotected sex won't happen again.  Also the large amount of alcohol intake will not happen again, it causes more trouble than good.

I feel slightly better now but to besure, I will have my blood tested next week.  Is it usefull to test myself on HIV after 30 days?

Thank you for your reply. 

[Ann]

azert,

As I already told you, for a conclusive result, you need to test three months past your last incident of unprotected intercourse. You do not need to test for the incident with the stranger.

You can test when you want to, but only a test three months after your last incident of unprotected intercourse will be conclusive.

Ann