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Author Topic: Murrr. I hate physicals.  (Read 4889 times)

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Offline Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,463
  • Om nom nom.
Murrr. I hate physicals.
« on: November 02, 2006, 09:29:24 pm »
But they're required or they kick me out of high school.
(I say, 'oh well!!!' but um. Mom not so much.)

So, I got to go to a doctor that I don't see very often anymore. But, since it's just a physical and he's closer we went to the general guy. Anyways, he only saw me for like 3 minutes. Most of the time I was stuck with a really charming, overweight disgruntled nurse.

The first thing she said to me when she walked into the room was that she was tired and had been working FOREVER that day. Greeattt.

But, yeah. I was weighed (114lbs) and then my height was taken, which we argued about. At my other doctor, I definitely recall like a 5'6" or a 5'5" at LEAST. But no. She said 5'4" 1/2. Grrrr. You just can't give me that extra half inch, can you, bitch?

Then my blood pressure (slightly under 'normal') and then they checked my lungs, my back, blah blah blah. Other thingggss.

AND THEN. THEN. THEN.

The needles came out.
:(

I got some kind of mengingblahblahblah shot. And then since I'm special I got a flu shot.

She didn't even warn me. Just rubbed the alcohol on, stuck the thing in me and taped a cotton ball to my arm.

WTF. I don't even get a Scooby Doo bandaid anymore. I hate being sixteen.

So, yeah. Meh. :(
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Offline Eldon

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  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2006, 09:48:09 pm »
Hey Jaser,

It is good that your visit went well and you got your FLU shot. Thanks for sharing this with us. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?



Make the BEST of each and every Day!
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Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,489
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2006, 10:35:54 pm »
Jaser, I know you're 16 now, and all, but you are just the cutest damned thing there is. Your stories always put a big smile on my face. Thanks for that.

BTW , I've been keeping up with the Jase/BF stories, and I'm happy that you're so happy. I hope it lasts 4eva.

Paul
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infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2006, 11:16:07 pm »
Hey Jaser,

Think 16 is bad? Wait till you start closing on 50 and they start talking about things like "proctologists"  and "colonoscopy."

Well, proctologist may not be all that bad.  ::)

Hang in there youngun.

HUGS,

Mark
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"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2006, 11:35:08 pm »
hey Shortarse,
Your as tiny as me - welcome to the 5'4" 1/2 club. otherwise known as SMART (Small Men Are Real Treats). Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha.
He is an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, little shortarse, just like stevie. Ah, that's my Jaser. Eat him for lunch.

Mark,
My only concern when I had my colonoscopy was that I'd be moaning with pleasure in front of the doctor and nurse while only half conscious. Wouldn't be the first time I'd tried to stick a yard or two of flexible rubber up there.  ;D

Steve

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Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2006, 11:46:26 pm »
Hey Steve,

 ;D

(I have this incredible visual going on.)

HUGS,

Mark

Who thinks SMART guys are delectable.
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"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,277
  • Antipodean in every sense of the word
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2006, 11:48:15 pm »
Oooooh endoscopies! I love those. I had a double one. Flexible rubber piping up both ends at the same time. My good friend Duncan the Odd refers to it as "pig on a spit".

Oink!

MtD
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Offline Lisa

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  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2006, 12:00:50 am »
Welcome to the big peoples world sonny. If your all bent about the bitty little needle you got today........wait til they want to stick really big things in places that you REALLY won't like.
....but the least she coulda done was give ya a cool bandaid. :-\

Let me introduce you to the words " now this is going to feel like a little pressure" :o
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No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,277
  • Antipodean in every sense of the word
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2006, 12:10:40 am »
Let me introduce you to the words " now this is going to feel like a little pressure"

Which is not dissimilar to "roll on your side and pull your knees against your chest."

Oy!

MtD
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Offline BooBoo

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  • Posts: 86
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2006, 08:10:13 am »
Quote from: matty.the.damned on November 03, 2006, 12:10:40 am
Which is not dissimilar to "roll on your side and pull your knees against your chest."

I heard those words back in July when I had to have a DRE (digital rectal exam).  I might have enjoyed it if my PCP was a good looking guy.........but, my doc is a woman.......and a lesbian.  :D ;D :-\
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Offline Christine

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  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2006, 10:47:43 am »
What are all you guys complaining about?? We get a digital rectal exam, breast manipulation, and then the pelvic exam. Nothing like laying in the stirups, while the doctor is poking around in there and talking about his summer... Please stop talking to my vagina! ;)

You should at least have gotten the Scooby-doo bandaid!

Christine
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Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2006, 10:55:52 am »
My doc stops talking when he's poking around down there.

He said the echo was too distracting.

Kiss and tell, kiss and tell,

HUGS,

Mark
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"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,277
  • Antipodean in every sense of the word
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2006, 11:47:00 am »
Now I want a Scooby-Doo band-aid!

Boo-boo,

That lezzo doctor of yours wasn't called Valma was she? ;)

MtD
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Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2006, 12:01:44 pm »
Yep, consider yourself lucky, you little rugrat. After fifty the first thing they want to check is your poopshoot...I'm cool with that, but how the heck does my doctor do it with both hands on my shoulders?
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Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,277
  • Antipodean in every sense of the word
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2006, 12:03:53 pm »
And where's his tongue?

MtD ;D
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Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #15 on: November 04, 2006, 01:55:22 am »
Jaser-
As much as I h8 physicals and doctors, I kinda admire that they do not tell u when they will stick a needle in u. Somehow if they do not tell me, then I do not mind as I am usually paying attn. to something else and I do get easily distracted.
I really have not had a physical since I left the military 2 yrs ago, so I consider myself lucky. The only time my height and weight r taken is whenever I see my HIV doc/specialist/ reg. nurse (whatever she wants to b called nowadays).

RobT
VL: undetectable
CD4: 564
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Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: Murrr. I hate physicals.
« Reply #16 on: November 04, 2006, 05:42:33 am »
The difference between having physicals when we are young and physicals when we are older is that we have learned to prepare for the experience, in mind and body, and know what to do when given the opportunities offered by our doctors, as mentioned by Mark, et. al.  When younger, we thought it was all about the doctor telling us what to do and doing things to us without our willing participation.  When older we know better.  Win
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Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.
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