Please asses my risk

[paranoid]

I do have anxiety when it comes down to matters like these so please excuse my questions sound stupid.
About 2 months ago I went to a massage parlor and one thing led to another and I ended up having protected vaginal sex with the girl massaging me. I checked the condom after and it seemed intact. On the way home my mind started racing with a bunch of "what if"questions. I soon calmed myself down but I started getting anxious again today because I was with a girl I just started to get to know and we were fooling around, no vaginal penetration whatsoever because she is in her final days of her period. However there was alot of touching and feeling, nothing around her vagina, but when i got home I noticed some dry specs of blood around my finger nails. My question is, I do get tested annually  but do  these two episodes pose any risk and should i get tested within the window period or wait for my annual test. Secondly can I assume that people that have been infected did not wear condoms and that condom use will protect me from ever getting the virus through sexual experiences?

[RapidRod]

You were not at risk. Please take the time to read the Lesson on transmission. The link can be found in the "Welcome" thread.

[Andy Velez]

I agree with Rod. Your mind is working overtime to no good purpose and without any basis in HIV science.

You weren't at risk, but you do need to become better informed about transmission so as Rod suggested, please read our lesson on this site.

Cheers,

[paranoid]

I'm posting again just to thank the modulators and experts here. Although I trust the advice given to me hear, I just had to get tested to set my mind at ease.  The information and advice I received here calmed me down. I just received my negative test result as you all stated I would. The nurse at the clinic pretty much gave me the same info I read here and told me that she sees 3 positive tests a year all from people with risk factors that are listed in the lessons page.  I tested about 4 days short of twelve weeks because I am going away next week and wouldn't be able to get my results before I left and I wanted that piece of mind while on vacation.  The nurse told me it'll be okay and she understood my concern but wouldn't need to retest because I used a condom. I live in Canada, where the recommended testing period is 3 months, but she told me the lab technicians say that the tests are very sensitive and can detect antibodies early, so much so that a 8 to 10 week test is pretty much conclusive but they want to cover all bases so recommend 13 weeks. I feel certain that my test is conclusive and don't feel the anxiety to get any further testing.

If I can I would just like to give some advice to the other worried posters here, one worried-well to another, because I know you all read every post like I did and I know what you're going through. First believe the advice given here, they are experts and know more about the virus than we may ever know. Next do as Andy suggests and keep busy while you wait to get tested. You'll find that most of your symptoms disappear as you are focused on something else, suggesting that the symptoms are  more related to anxiety than HIV. Believe me I had all of them; hives, diarrhea, stomach cramps and tingling in my extremities. Look up symptoms of anxiety and I'm sure you'll find most of your symptoms on that list.  Finally, try to stay away from the net, if you have to, stick to reputable sites like this one where they only deal with facts. Don't go searching all over your body looking for blemishes or spots or other things cus you'll always find something you never saw before.  This advice worked for me and I hope it will work for you, making the stress and anguish of not knowing more manageable.

Thanks to all of the experts here for sharing their wisdom, showing compassion and patience even when we worry-wells ask what may seem like the most ridiculous questions, but those concerns seem very real to us. You all provide an important and valuable service and I would like to thank you for all your efforts. Keep up the good work. Good luck and thank you.

[paranoid]

Hi all.
Last week I met a women. We talked all week then hooked up late Thursday night. In our conversations early in the week I asked if she's ever had any STD's and practices safe sex. She said she never had any and always practices safe sex. We both have partners we are (should be exclusive with) but ventured out this time. Anyways when we hooked up I didn't have a condom and told her that I wouldn't go all the way without protection. She was fine with that. We began fooling around, we were both naked and on a couple of occasions (2-3) my penis slipped in by accident as we were grinding. I took it out quickly each time. She said she does get tested yearly, and didn't seem to be worried about the situation.

Anyways, I know there is always a risk, but how great is mine? Should I get tested at 13 weeks or can I wait until my usual yearly exam?

Looking forward to your reply.

[Andy Velez]

OK, a few things.

First of all, no matter how great a partner looks or what reassurances you're given about their HIV and STD status, you always need to be wearing a condom when you have intercourse. No exceptions.

If in fact you actually penetrated the woman in this incident, then you do need to get tested at 13 weeks. I suggest that only as a precaution and my expectation is that you will test negative. Considering that it was a single incident and how much harder it is to transmit HIV from female to male this was a very low level risk situation. But  very low risk is not the same as no risk so you need to learn from the experience. No penetration without a condom on. Period.

Good luck. I expect you to test negative.

Cheers,

[Ann]

Paranoid,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann

[paranoid]

thanks for the reply.
Although my intentions were not to have any penetration, I should have been prepared with protection for just such a situation. Especially considering how much anxiety it causes me, I couldn't sleep at all last night.

Anyways I'll have to wait and see and hope you are right Andy, I've never seen you be wrong, I hope this time is not the first.