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Author Topic: So things have not gone well.  (Read 57633 times)

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Offline Angel-Ronnie

  • Member
  • Posts: 475
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #50 on: October 26, 2006, 05:02:31 am »
Sky of diamonds


Running over planes of gold fields
Thru rivers and streams
From all corners of the world
From north to south,
East to west
But still we are all the same

Living in a diverse world
Filled with corruption
Divided by our own greed
Societies are but no different
From my world nor from yours

Living thousands of miles apart
But we look all the same
From within
Our cultures and color
Might be different on the outside
But how different are we
Be it in spirit

The world is the same
The skies are the same
People are the same
To me the sky is diamonds



I am new to this site and just being diagnosed a few months ago still comming to terms with myself and with hiv. Still reading some of these threads makes me wonder if it is worth even looking for advise and courage from those who have been living with hiv longer than I have imagined?
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it - Charles Swindoll
2012-04-23 CD4=847 VL=125 CD4%=29
06-02-2013 CD4=990 VL=<20 CD4%=28
05-07-2013 CD4=869 VL=<20 CD4%=30
05-12-2013 CD4=859 VL=262 CD4%=28
03-05-2014 CD4=743 VL=<20 CD4%=28
30-09-2014 CD4=291 VL=33 CD4% =30
24-02-2015 CD4 1065 VL=1814 CD4%=30
22-07-2015 CD4=974 VL=<20 CD4%=32
19-01-2016 CD4=940 VL=<30 CD4%=33
11-07-2016 CD4=646 VL=<30 CD4%=26
11-01-2017 CD4=749 VL=<30 CD4%=29
27-06-2017 CD4=948 VL=<30 CD4%=32
22-12-2017 CD4=824 VL=<30 CD4%=32
09-06-2018 CD4=1036 VL=<40 CD4%=31
12-01-2019 CD4=915 VL=<30 CD4%=31
28-05-2019 CD4=855 VL=<40 CD4%=28
24-06-2021 CD4=927 VL=<20 CD4%=33
04-12-2021 CD4=1240 VL=<20 CD4%=34
25-06-2022 CD4=1408 VL=<40 CD4%=33
04-01-2023 CD4=982 VL=<20 CD4%=31
27-05-2023 CD4=1096 VL=<<40 CD4%=32

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #51 on: October 26, 2006, 12:29:39 pm »


    Matty,


        Skeeter here...  Just wanted to say I hope things get better for you and you are in my thoughts...


    Thomas
     (exit stage left)
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #52 on: October 26, 2006, 01:25:50 pm »
Not having had a good year myself, two things I try to convince myself of are:

a. It's not over, until it's over;

b. and Tommorow is another day.

Corny, stupid sayings. But at this point, there isn't much for me to hang on to. Hang on to those Matty.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #53 on: October 26, 2006, 01:26:51 pm »
It's amazing what one can miss in a couple of days on this forum.  Deleted and edited posts always make me wonder... I really hate to miss out on things!

Matty, I do hope you get better.  I know I've never PM'ed you and praised your wit.  Actually, I think you come across as a prick often times, but that doesn't mean that your meaning is lost or that what you've said isn't funny.  Remember, there is a difference between cutting off one's nose and biting one's tongue.

Now, take your meds and get better.  We sure can use some wit and humor around here.   ;)

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline DancerBoy

  • Member
  • Posts: 284
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #54 on: October 26, 2006, 01:56:26 pm »
trish, trish trish.....

your a JOKE!!!!
Lis-
Your shows ownership.   I think what you might be trying to say is "You're  a joke." As in you are.  Just saying.
Kisses,
-D
« Last Edit: October 26, 2006, 02:05:21 pm by DancerBoy »
Boys are Stupid

Offline Jerry71

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  • Biktarvy CD4 637 04-17-18
    • Facebook
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #55 on: October 26, 2006, 02:42:48 pm »
Matty you just stay healthy and keep taking those damn meds and don't let people on here get to you. You the man and have always been there for me. :-* I just hope you get better. And as far as the editing goes on here it is just a shame we all can not get along and be friends or a family.

Offline MSPspud

  • Member
  • Posts: 614
  • Joined Mar 2005 - Formerly UofMurbs
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #56 on: October 26, 2006, 02:53:41 pm »
Lis-
Your shows ownership.   I think what you might be trying to say is "You're  a joke." As in you are.  Just saying.
Kisses,
-D

Lord, give it a rest.  This is tired.  Whatever happened to being a bigger person?

Offline DancerBoy

  • Member
  • Posts: 284
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #57 on: October 26, 2006, 04:18:31 pm »
I was simply pointing out an error.  I would hope she'd do the same for me. 
Boys are Stupid

Offline MSPspud

  • Member
  • Posts: 614
  • Joined Mar 2005 - Formerly UofMurbs
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #58 on: October 26, 2006, 04:38:00 pm »
 ::)

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,031
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #59 on: October 28, 2006, 02:36:07 am »
 As in I dunno what the hell is going on ???
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #60 on: October 31, 2006, 01:53:02 pm »
Quote
Deleted and edited posts always make me wonder

David,  I have beaten myself up over deleting my post and honestly, I can't leave this place in such a cowardly fashion.  My post said "I am glad that you find my posts as tedious as I find yours.  For god's sake please save the third person rant for your drones."  You saw what ensued.


What I truly should have said was that I found this and the ensuing thread to help Matty name his CD4's as a slap in the face to not only those of us living with this disease, but to those who have passed.  To come in here and insult people then grandstand it with naming his CD4's only proves that he is an angry person.  His life and how he handles it is his decision.  I hate to hear of anyone letting themselves get in the predicament he has, but it was his decision.

Now I can leave here in good conscience.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,277
  • Antipodean in every sense of the word
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #61 on: October 31, 2006, 02:58:27 pm »
David,  I have beaten myself up over deleting my post and honestly, I can't leave this place in such a cowardly fashion.  My post said "I am glad that you find my posts as tedious as I find yours.  For god's sake please save the third person rant for your drones."  You saw what ensued.


What I truly should have said was that I found this and the ensuing thread to help Matty name his CD4's as a slap in the face to not only those of us living with this disease, but to those who have passed.  To come in here and insult people then grandstand it with naming his CD4's only proves that he is an angry person.  His life and how he handles it is his decision.  I hate to hear of anyone letting themselves get in the predicament he has, but it was his decision.

Now I can leave here in good conscience.


Gee KY, and I thought we were having a moment. What changed? It was me, wasn't it?

Still you're right. I am a bad person. Dissin' all you good, compliant AIDS Victims with my nasty disruptive ways. You should see the terrible things I do on World AIDS Day! Wearing denialist t-shirts to memorial services and wiping my arse on the Memorial Quilt are but two.

Fondles,

MtD
« Last Edit: October 31, 2006, 03:02:39 pm by matty.the.damned »

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,031
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #62 on: October 31, 2006, 05:26:33 pm »
 ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D   I love it....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #63 on: October 31, 2006, 05:29:37 pm »
KY.


[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: October 31, 2006, 05:34:56 pm by fearless »
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #64 on: October 31, 2006, 05:37:47 pm »
To come in here and insult people then grandstand it with naming his CD4's only proves that he is an angry person. 

so just press the ignore button if he or anyone else irks you that much. simple dimple.

Offline Lis

  • Member
  • Posts: 604
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #65 on: October 31, 2006, 06:43:50 pm »
why do you KY act as if you just on accident acquired this disease... 1 year ago you were unsure about it.. now all the sudden you are an expert.. not only on HIV, but how we all should feel!  you go to 1 support group and now your the Dali Lama of AIDS>>> step  off sweet pea... you got your hooker to make dinner for your kids... but you cant fool the rest of us!!
poz 1986....

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #66 on: November 01, 2006, 12:15:34 am »
Matty-
Who cares what the others have to say. All that matters is YOU. GET URSELF BETTER. TAKE UR MEDS, WHATEVER, GET WELL!!!
U were the 1st one whom I turned to when I initially got on this site. I know that u do not take shit from any1. Who really cares what others think?

RobT

Current meds: Truvada/Sustiva
VL: undetectable
CD4: 564
Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #67 on: November 01, 2006, 09:55:59 am »
Dear All,

Lis has been given a two day time out.

Support each other but please, do it without slicing and dicing others.

Her comments addressed at Trish and John are not acceptable.

 
Andy Velez

Offline Just John

  • Member
  • Posts: 267
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #68 on: November 01, 2006, 06:31:01 pm »
Quote
Her comments addressed at Trish and John are not acceptable.

And Trish and Kc's comments were?? ??? :(
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #69 on: November 01, 2006, 07:15:48 pm »
If you noticed John, I apologized and deleted mine. 

Also, my comment wasn't as nasty as Lis'.  She hit way below the belt.

I was wrong, and the least I could do was admit it.

Good day.
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Joe K

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 5,821
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #70 on: November 01, 2006, 07:25:14 pm »
Why don't we just ask Matty to kick off so the insensitive fools here can keep hijacking his thread.  Some of you people show an appalling lack of empathy or even compassion for one of our own.  One of our dearest members is facing the loss of his life and yet some of you see nothing wrong with just abusing this post.

If that is what you consider support, then please find another forum.  And to John and Trish, I am sorry but editing your posts will never remove their intent.  I have been reading this post from the start and I know what you said and to see that you have now removed those "hateful remarks" just shows how lacking you both are in terms of character.  If you intend to sling mud, the least you can do is accept your ownership and changing your comments, depending upon how well or poorly they are received is the act of cowards.

If you insist on spewing insensitive remarks, at least have the backbone to leave your "pearls" for all to see.  But you cannot do that, because then your duplicity would be exposed, as if anyone has missed it by now.

Sorry Matty, but something tells me you will forgive me my transgression.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2006, 07:28:39 pm by killfoile »

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #71 on: November 01, 2006, 09:08:59 pm »
Joe, please go back and read post 13 from MtD himself.  I'd say he hijacked his own post.  If not hijacked it, certainly turned what had previously been a supportive thread into this odd tirade against a lot of members.

Nevertheless I'm speaking to a (and I use the term loosely) largely  American audience. Over the 25 years that I've been an AIDSMEDS member (really it seems longer) I've come to understand a lot about ignorance. 

Let's ignore the fact people like Hal, Rapid Rod, Rich et al can be timed out for having a full and frank exchange of views on whatever issue simply because it upsets light-weight wannbees such as Eric. Or even you Alex. It strikes Matty the Damned as passing strange that these people can be booted, yet tiresome bores such as KYHeteroman and his equally tedious husband Trish are allowed to carry on with impunity.

Matty the Damned
(Who thinks Eric has more to worry about than Matty's health)
/edited for typos given the quality of the audience/


So now we Americans are ignorant.  Who jumped on Eric and Alex?  Who brought Trish and John into this in the first place?

I know you're concerned about Matty (as are most of us) and upset that people are not as supportive as they would be in an normal circumstances.  There's only a certain amount of shit people will take before they say to hell with him.  Maybe that's the point; I sure don't know.  If it were me, I'd be scared shitless and who knows how I'd act.  I can only hope that I won't snap at those who offer some sort of support.

Matty is not the only one at fault here; as far as I know, he hasn't been given a time-out.  Just keep the whole situation in perspective.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #72 on: November 01, 2006, 10:09:38 pm »
Quote
I have been reading this post from the start and I know what you said and to see that you have now removed those "hateful remarks" just shows how lacking you both are in terms of character

Joe, I was going to bow out, but I couldn't help but respond to your dipshit remark.  Read the above, Mr.  "EDITED BECAUSE WHY BOTHER"

If you want, I will fill this fucking page with proof of your hypocrisy and show everyone who you really are.  If you REALLY read here you would note that I re-typed my comments.  Somehow I don't think that was on your mind. 

BTW - Matty didn't deny a word I said.  Perhaps more people should speak what they feel here.



Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,434
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #73 on: November 01, 2006, 10:11:42 pm »
Matty,

Like I said previously, you were there for me when I needed it and I hope you can appreciate that I want to do the same in return.

I just don't know how, or what else to do, than to let you know this.

Iggy

Offline Joe K

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  • Member
  • Posts: 5,821
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #74 on: November 01, 2006, 10:24:17 pm »
David,

I understand your sentiments, but I don't think one can hijack his own post.  I am not defending what Matty said, but I am confronting the insensitivity shown in this and other posts.  Surely you cannot defend correcting someone's use of language in such a post.  I am just tired of this insensitivy being shown by certain members, who are not held accountable for thier actions, while others who commit similiar offenses are timed-out.  Yet it keeps happening and I have to wonder why, but not today.

John,

I absolutely defy you to carry out your impossible threat of showing me as a hypocrite.  I will wait for that post, but not holding my breath, because it can not be done.  At least when I stick my foot in my mouth, I leave it there for all to see.  And surely you are not suggesting that either yours or Trishs' edited posts in that thread, were what you initially posted.  Why are you so unable to take responsbility for your actions?  With you two it seems to be all about smoke and mirrors.

But I have contributed to the hijack of this thread and for that I apologize.  I will not comment about this again in this thread.

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,489
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #75 on: November 02, 2006, 12:05:09 am »
 I am just tired of this insensitivy being shown by certain members, who are not held accountable for thier actions, ...

This is not directed at you personally Kill (didn't catch your name before I hit reply).

I'm going to walk right out to the edge of this limb here..

I don't know what went on between Lis, John, and Trish, and I really don't care to know. That's apparantly a matter between them.

But as far as insensitivity goes, Matty is probably one of the worst offenders here. In many posts he has insulted more than one member personally, for no real reason, while at the same time being his witty little self. I (and I'm sure a few others here, especially the newer members) cannot possibly imagine how he has become known as one of the most respected members here.

This is my opinion, and is not an attack on any other members feelings about Matty.

I wish him well because he is another human being on this planet, and a member of this forum. Certainly not out of respect for him as a person.

Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline joyluckclub

  • Member
  • Posts: 137
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #76 on: November 02, 2006, 12:31:16 am »
I, too, am relatively new to this forum.  I was diagnosed in July.  Matty, I appreciate the supportive words you have offered me.

I'll be thinking of you in the coming days.  Take care of yourself.
"Honey, be who you is"  Madea.........

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #77 on: November 02, 2006, 12:38:11 am »
Quote
I am just tired of this insensitivy being shown by certain members, who are not held accountable for thier actions, while others who commit similiar offenses are timed-out.  Yet it keeps happening and I have to wonder why, but not today.
I wondered that myself, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it Joe.

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
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  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #78 on: November 02, 2006, 08:22:55 am »
  When you live in reaction, you give your power away.  Then you get to experience what/who you gave your power to.

N. Smith
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #79 on: November 02, 2006, 10:11:07 am »
Dear All,

Others have been given time outs before this. They aren't usually announced in the way I did about the one for Lis. And I did that specifically in the hope of it serving as a warning to halt the sniping.

The intention was to prevent more of  the kind of increasingly venomous exchanges such as John and Killfoile have now added to this thread. Guys, it's very clear and it has been for a long while how you feel about each other. Disagreements are one thing. Back and forth attacks are quite another.

Stop for a moment and think. Is there anything that benefits you or anyone who comes to these pages by more of the same? I think not. What these exchanges come across as are an unwillingness to let the other "win" by having the last word. As far as I am concerned it's a lose-lose situation when you get into this, for all concerned including other members.

So guys, give it a rest, and yes, consider this a warning.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2006, 10:28:17 am by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline alisenjafi

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #80 on: November 02, 2006, 10:37:36 am »
Just another episode of  the The Young and Infected
« Last Edit: November 02, 2006, 10:39:36 am by alisenjafi »
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline Trish

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #81 on: November 02, 2006, 11:55:59 am »
I am just tired of this insensitivy being shown by certain members, who are not held accountable for thier actions, ...

This is not directed at you personally Kill (didn't catch your name before I hit reply).

I'm going to walk right out to the edge of this limb here..

I don't know what went on between Lis, John, and Trish, and I really don't care to know. That's apparantly a matter between them.

But as far as insensitivity goes, Matty is probably one of the worst offenders here. In many posts he has insulted more than one member personally, for no real reason, while at the same time being his witty little self. I (and I'm sure a few others here, especially the newer members) cannot possibly imagine how he has become known as one of the most respected members here.

This is my opinion, and is not an attack on any other members feelings about Matty.

I wish him well because he is another human being on this planet, and a member of this forum. Certainly not out of respect for him as a person.

Paul

Matty's insensitivty on these forums, since I've been a member, are what make it hard for me to show empathy toward him.  How does one respect another when they consistently throw vile comments aimed specifically at hurting others?  He's done it more times than anyone and I too cannot fathom how he has become one of the most respected members on these forums.  ???

There was time when I admired Matty, but I just can't seem to bring myself to that place again.  I've watched him time & time again hurt others purposely and I just can't respect that, really I cannot.

I also find his little episode of naming his CD4's a disgrace.  Humorous?  Sorry, not in my eyes.  And I truly don't understand those who obiged his sick display of disrespect to all those who have succumbed to AIDS, as well as US, who are struggling to live with it now.  I just don't get it.
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Teresa

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #82 on: November 02, 2006, 12:16:35 pm »
My brother had 2 tumors in his head last year. One in his brain and one behind his left sinus. He named them. I don't think he was showing any disrespect to cancer patients living or who had died from cancer. It was one way he was dealing with his cancer, with a little humor.

Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline Dachshund

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #83 on: November 02, 2006, 01:06:08 pm »
My brother had 2 tumors in his head last year. One in his brain and one behind his left sinus. He named them. I don't think he was showing any disrespect to cancer patients living or who had died from cancer. It was one way he was dealing with his cancer, with a little humor.

Teresa


Bingo...what Teresa said. What I don't get is why some people keep returning to rehash the topic of Matty.The.Damned. Truth be told, I think it is just a bad case of the green-eyed monsters.

I have seen Aidsmeds members wish other members dead, call each other every name in the book, threaten to quit the forums, threaten suicide, threaten to reveal private pm's, you name we have seen and done it.

Get your hearts off your thin-skinned sleeves people...scratch the surface and we all are pretty much coming from the same place...quilt,pain,drug addiction,alcoholism,sex addiction,self-esteem issues,medical issues,homophobia,racism,sexism,topped with a big ol' dollop of anger on what I like to call a HIV sundae that is certainly topped with lots of nuts.

Why people make what someone types all about them is beyond me. The emotional posting of a forum member (even if they use your name) really has nothing to do with or about you. Though I guess if something stings a bit personally it might have a modicum of truth to it. Frankly, I think the release of the rage that many of us feel is at times actually quite healthy...and forum members should be excused for it. Or at least understood. We can post all the methods we want for finding happiness but if you can't release the anger, that Hallmark moment ain't going anywhere.

So relax... bottom line what anyone posts really ain't about you, no matter how much we would like it to be. One more thing...gallows humor is a major coping device when dealing with death...always has been, always will be.

Peace

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #84 on: November 02, 2006, 01:45:57 pm »
I've watched him time & time again hurt others purposely and I just can't respect that, really I cannot.

If you don't want to respect a "whole person", you can isolate aspects of a person and respect those aspects. Matty is open about his health. He doesn't paint a false picture of himself as a healthy superman and I respect honesty. (He's also shared many of his life experiences with different medicines for various conditions) 

Consider this: I have a friend-- a messy, acerbic, abrasive bitchqueen by any measure - But when he was 15 years old he saved a drowning toddler who fell into a swimming pool. He said diving into that pool was automatic without hesitation and the rush to action was clear and came from within. I had nothing but respect for that. You don't have to respect someone 100 PERCENT, but you should know that "little seeds" of truth often grow into that beautiful word we call respect. Finding the little seeds takes effort,and if you really truly can't be bothered, simply press the ignore button. I prefer finding the little seeds instead of the ignore button.

As far as comments and reacting, read what Moffie and Dachshund said. Anyone can say anything to me or about me. I know who I am.

Offline Iggy

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #85 on: November 02, 2006, 01:48:20 pm »
Quote
Matty's insensitivty on these forums, since I've been a member, are what make it hard for me to show empathy toward him.  How does one respect another when they consistently throw vile comments aimed specifically at hurting others?  He's done it more times than anyone and I too cannot fathom how he has become one of the most respected members on these forums.  

There was time when I admired Matty, but I just can't seem to bring myself to that place again.  I've watched him time & time again hurt others purposely and I just can't respect that, really I cannot.

Trish I need to ask that if all that is true - then what has been your point of multiple posts on this thread?  I have no issue with anyone who doesn't like Matty, but I seriously see no point of you particiapting in a thread by Matty, about Matty and for Matty, if that is your take.

Just put him and others you do not like on ignore.

« Last Edit: November 02, 2006, 01:50:21 pm by Iggy »

Offline Trish

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #86 on: November 02, 2006, 02:14:02 pm »
He brought my name up in his post #13... so I reacted to it.  I should have stayed out of it, but I didn't.  However, I will ignore him from now on.  You are right Iggy.
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline manchesteruk

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #87 on: November 02, 2006, 03:26:38 pm »
I've got to say Hal is absolutely spot on with what he said above.  Secondly does anyone actually know how Matty is doing at the moment? this post seems to have gone off topic slightly!
Diagnosed 11/05

"Life is too important to be taken seriously" Oscar Wilde

Offline fearless

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #88 on: November 02, 2006, 04:43:24 pm »
Hal is one wise man.

Chris,
Last time I saw and spoke to Matty he was doing OK.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #89 on: November 02, 2006, 08:40:19 pm »
Matty's still around, he just has to see a lot of doctors at the moment and so is away for days at a time. I'll have more results sometime next week. Given that I've restarted HAART (about two weeks back now) they should be interesting.

Did this thread go off topic? Not really. There are two themes here. My really bad AIDS numbers at the moment and my growing sense of irritation with the what I consider to be the appalling way in which the moderators administer these forums.

And I mean all the moderators. Ann, Velez, Staley and the Other One. And before people go getting all het up and scrambling over the barricades to condemn me for dissin' the powers that be I'm just saying what I think. Andy Velez has often encouraged me in to "vent and rant" in the past. In fact I've often noticed him advise people to "post and be damned".

Betcha not runnin' that line quite so much these days, eh Andy?

For those who've been around AIDSMEDS for a while will be familiar with my particular style. I've never claimed to be an especially compassionate or sympathetic person. I have limited reserves of empathy and you've gotta be pretty special before I'm gonna gush and carry on and hold your sweaty little hand.

Frankly I couldn't give a rat's arse about most of you. There are of course a select core of people here for whom I care deeply and would do anything. But they know who they are.

Similarly, I've never asked for compassion or sympathy in return. I just tell you how things are, what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I don't require external validation. My purposes and reasons for posting are my own and most likely the result of narcissistic personality disorder.

But ya know, whatever. ;)

So Iggy and company are right. If you don't like me, what I say or how I say it -- then whack the ignore button. Or do like Eric and frantically click the "Rat this post out the Goderators" button. If it's that bad, why bother reading the damn thread at all?

I mean, like I pointed out to someone once before, even Internet Explorer has a back button.

But none of you will, especially not my detractors. You love me. The little frisson of outraged joy you get when I post is soooooo addictive. Go on, admit it. When you see my name next to a post you all pee in your pants, just a little bit. Threads like these are what AIDSMEDS have always been about. The opportunity to get down and pull hair.

You know it makes sense.

MtD
(Who is every bit this egotistical and offensive in real life)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #90 on: November 02, 2006, 09:05:47 pm »
Oh you let Satan my friend, push that little fork up to far this time.  ;) Hell you aren't even enjoying it. All I care is, that you take care of yourself and continue to be you. I still love you my Ozzie friend.


Offline DingoBoi

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #91 on: November 02, 2006, 09:13:57 pm »
Quote
And I truly don't understand those who obiged his sick display of disrespect to all those who have succumbed to AIDS, as well as US, who are struggling to live with it now.  I just don't get it.

Perhaps if you (maybe, I don't know your recreational status) and KY laid off the pot, all the while claiming to be morally superior for the 'kids', you'd understand.  Gee KY, when are you gonna tell your kids you are a pot-head?  That's really setting a good example.

Your hypocrisy amazes me. 

And yes, this post is to add flame to the fire, because as long as you two post crap like this (and then delete it), it is deserved.

Dingo has spoken... who frankly doesn't care much for the topic poster but at least can wish him well, unlike others who just need to post publically to make sure everybody knows they are total assholes.  You two are a match made and 'deserve' each other.

I wish you both well, and hope you both stay away from here in the future.

edit to add:  I fully support lis in her comments, whether they are perceived as true or not, because to me, they are quite accurate.  Lis, that was well worth a 2 day time-out.

« Last Edit: November 02, 2006, 10:55:55 pm by DingoBoi »

Offline swede_dish

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #92 on: November 02, 2006, 09:34:21 pm »
sounds like everyone needs a couple chill pills and a visit with Dr. Phil...if Dr. Phil wasn't a giant butthole.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline Eldon

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #93 on: November 02, 2006, 09:42:46 pm »
Even in the case of individuals, there is no possibility to feel happiness through anger. If in a difficult situation one becomes disturbed internally, overwhelmed by mental discomfort, then external things will not help at all.

However, if despite external difficulties or problems, internally one’s attitude is of love, warmth, and kindheartedness, then problems can be faced and accepted.



Make the BEST of each and every Day!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #94 on: November 02, 2006, 09:46:54 pm »
Even in the case of individuals, there is no possibility to feel happiness through anger. If in a difficult situation one becomes disturbed internally, overwhelmed by mental discomfort, then external things will not help at all.

However, if despite external difficulties or problems, internally one’s attitude is of love, warmth, and kindheartedness, then problems can be faced and accepted.



Make the BEST of each and every Day!


Eldon,

Darlin' you know that Matty the Damned loves you but I have to ask a question. Are you the guy who writes those little one liner things for desk calenders?

Seriously?

MtD

Offline chm02

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    • id est
Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #95 on: November 02, 2006, 09:49:27 pm »
"Hurting people hurt people."

That's something that was pointed out to me once, and I think it's generally true. It helps me be more compassionate.
Everyone needs to find constructive ways to deal with their anger, fear, and pain. ( i know I do)...
You don't blame a sick dog for snapping- and it's the same thing...

Offline Eldon

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #96 on: November 02, 2006, 09:56:45 pm »
Hey Matty,

Do you have one of those on your desk too? Or did you throw it out the window? Just sayin.




Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline ademas

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #97 on: November 02, 2006, 10:03:52 pm »
I did not just pee in my pants, not even just a little,
although I did have to check just to be certain.
I'm glad you're still around, Matty.
Be well.

Offline swede_dish

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #98 on: November 02, 2006, 10:47:45 pm »
I peed a little.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline fearless

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Re: So things have not gone well.
« Reply #99 on: November 02, 2006, 11:25:23 pm »
Matty,
You must be trying to pull the wool over our eyes. You are obviously one very, very sick man at the moment as there was a typo in your last post. It's calendar, not calender.  ;D
I've waited nearly three years for this. hehehe.

My desk calendar says this: The only man who makes money following the races is one who does it with a broom and shovel.
I'd bet one could make a fortune walking behind KY and T.

Make the BEST of each day.
Steve
(love your work Eldon - the most positive, positive person I know  :-*)

Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

 


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