Life Changes...

[newbie92]

I'm just curious to know...
Has being positive change your career?
Has being positive change your life for better or for worse?

[Cinnamon Dalia]

Wow, I'm kind of surprised no one has replied to these questions.

The truth is I'm really new at this (I found out I'm positive merely three months ago), but it hasn't really affected my career and since my husband and I got HIV at the same time, we've been supporting each other through all of this and that has made things considerably easier.

Once we realized we would be fine as long as we took care of ourselves and adopted a healthier lifestyle, we stopped worrying. We now even like to joke about it as "something else we have in common"

Regarding my career, I don't think HIV makes any difference in my field. Probably there are other fields where it might, I don't know. But I can tell you my work hasn't been affected. I guess that's why I am very optimistic about this.

But, I mean, I don't know, that's just me

[Weber]

Hi newbie,

My career isn't affected at all. I'm just as productive but only because I made major effort to keep it that way after my dx which is 6 months ago.

In other departments, I'd say so so. Situations like Cinnamon's should make it easier psychologically as you have a partner by your side that gives you strength.

My fiancée and I split after the news not because of HIV but because of betrayal (you can read my story in I just tested poz forum). Then I had some pretty bad experience with disclosure. Right now my whole energy is on my career, I take care of myself but became very reserved with disclosure which means I'm alone in my coping journey so far.

That's where I stand right now. What about you if you don't mind sharing?

[newbie92]

Hi Weber and Cinnamon! Thanks so much for responding. It doesn't affect me now. I'm in college and my plan is to go to med school. I just don't want this to hinder me and mess up my chances.

[Weber]

I'm not an expert of course but I don't think your med school plans would be affected. There are a lot of HIV+ healthcare workers which is your proof right there. I think the stigma around HIV causes a lot of unnecessary fears among newly diagnosed like traveling with meds, concerns about jobs, school etc. I continued with my career just fine and as far as I know the law in the US is pretty strong (I don't know where you live) regarding work place discrimination based on race, gender, ethnicity, health condition etc.

So, we gotta move on with our plans. It's all up to us I think tho staying strong might become challenging here and there which applies to everyone after all.

[newbie92]

I so reside in the US. Maryland to be exact. My fear is stigma.

[Rosie117]

Newbie, I'm terrified of the stigma. Only my fiancé, who is negative and has been my rock since I was diagnosed 5 months ago, knows my status. I only plan to reveal it to my sibling, who works in the medical field and would have access to my information anyway if I ever have to be treated at the hospital in the future.

My job is not affected, and I don't plan for anyone there to ever find out. My dreams of becoming a paramedic or police officer have disappeared though, since I'm sure I'd have to disclose. I can deal with that though.

[lupetto]

Hi newbie,
HIV hasn't affected my career in any way. I haven't told anyone at my work and am not planning to do it either as it has nothing to do with it. I'm sure you can continue to med school without any problems at all. In my local support group I have met many people who work/have worked in healthcare sector.

Your second question was a lot harder for me to answer... I think HIV has perhaps made me more emphatic towards others who are facing difficulties in their lives. But it has not really had such a positive effect in my life; I haven't started to appreciate my life more or taking better care of myself. Maybe I should.

Like you and Rosie I'm also very scared of the stigma and have kind of "closed off" from others as I'm afraid my status would somehow be revealed. I'm scared how others would react and fear for the worst. I know this is bad for me and I should trust people in my life but it's easier said than done. Keeping a secret is not easy and I'm thinking about disclosing a lot. I feel it would make a bit difference. No one in my life today knows of my status; the only ones who know are my ex from years ago and the one who infected me - I hate it that they know something so personal about me even though I have no contact with either of them anymore.

During the years many of my fears have faded away. E.g. now I'm no longer worried about dying any day soon or scared of every cold or flu I might catch. Actually, now that I think of it one good thing that has followed from my diagnosis is that my health is regularly monitored and I'm well aware of it. Without my infection I would have no idea about my liver, blood sugar etc. Maybe that's the silver lining... 

[didee]

Hi Newbie,

My status doesn't affect my work and I've made it a policy to not ever let anyone know of my status at work because it really doesn't affect my work in any way.  There are times when it would be easier if someone there knew, because I try to be proactive when I feel I'm getting run down and call in a sick day.  It's worked quite well and kept me from coming down with something by doing that, but I do feel guilty sometimes when I'm not fully sick.  I figure the only way to keep my status private is to not tell anyone.  In the beginning I was concerned with not being treated fairly at work, but now I just prefer to keep it private. 

It's affected my life in that it adds to my concerns for future retirement as I get closer to that age (been positive for 30 years), affording medications, and having enough to live on.  I've had a tendency to ignore the fact that I'm positive which was really easy to do in the beginning years because I wasn't on medication.  Then when it came time to start on meds it hit me pretty hard, plus I had just moved and didn't have my support system of friends to help get me thru it.  I do have close friends that all know my status and I've been blessed with friends that don't consider it a big deal and don't treat me any differently.  In fact they tend to forget I'm positive because I don't have any symptoms or related illnesses.  So all in all it's affected my life but not to the extreme where it overcomes my life and keeps me from working and having normal friendships.  I am hesitant about ever meeting a new special someone however which maybe that's why I don't have someone.  I got positive from my husband and he passed away from a massive heart attack years ago and I haven't found anyone new since then.

[BT65]

Hey Didee, just wanted you to know I also became positive through my first husband, who passed away in 1989 from drinking too much-it shut down his heart.  I did get married again after that, but the guy got back on drugs and started stealing everything from me (wiped out my bank account), plus our neighbor. So, that was over, though we remained very distant friends. He passed away this past year from his heart. Which isn't surprising. He was in his 60's, and had never put down the crack or heroin.

I am not in a relationship right now either, I feel it would just complicate things.  Anyway, glad to read your short synopsis.  Thanks and welcome!

Betty

[Lasthope]

Plz help I don't know what I gonna do with my life. I feel terrible sad and lonely
I cry everyday.

[didee]

So sorry to hear that lasthope, please hang in there, it does get better.  Do you work or are you keeping active in some way to keep your mind off things a bit?  What do you do on a typical day and how is your health?  Let us know how you're doing!

D

[Lasthope]

Hi, didee

Now i'm ok just need time I still study and my health it's good I think HIV not change our life it's just virus (i try accept that)and i still follow my dreams everything still continue just one thing scared me "relationship with bf"