dating hiv poz guys with neg guys

[verstopbottom]

hi not sure this is good place to post this add but i need some information .  if anyone has suggestion  where i can go instead . please let me know...... here goes....i  have been poz for 15 yrs and just ended a 8yr relationship going on 2yrs......i decide to get back into dating .  i have add on poz dating website and other website that is more mainstream.  my question is when do i tell the  the guy on the mainstream site  i am hiv poz...

[jkinatl2]

For me, there's usually an organic place in the relationship to tell them. If things look promising for more than a fling, it's going to find it's way to the front burner of the conversation on it's own - usually on the first few dates.

Of course, you could state your status before the first meeting, if you are so inclined.

[MilburnCreek]

I find that most guys need some gentle education about what HIV is and isn't.  Memories of the 1980s have left a strong image, buttressed by the 'safe sex' mania that many agencies engage in to retain funding.  It's created a stigma in the gay community that is hard to 'update.' 

Having said that, I no longer tell anyone or advertise up front.  Ignorance results in a knee-jerk reaction.  I always wait until the person decided they *like* me, and they begin to allow compassion and *interest* dictate the terms and direction of the conversation.  Only then can they hear what you are saying. 

My partner is negative, and cared enough to do some research when i told him.  We are still together, and I expect we will be together for a long time.  Many of our friends are sero-discordant couples.  We seem to 'find' each other...we are a different breed, if you will: a subculture of a subculture...