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Author Topic: POZ Boyfriend  (Read 2686 times)

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Offline Jonnyptommy

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POZ Boyfriend
« on: February 03, 2015, 10:22:40 pm »
I know this is talked about a million times, but I feel my situation is slightly different (I'm sure everyone feels that way though).

I started dating a man a few months ago and he told me that his ex partner had just tested positive. We decided to not have anal at all and only have oral sex.  He tested positive last week. We both performed oral sex on each other many times (several times a week for 2 months).  Often with swallowing. I don't recall having sores in my mouth, but I know he had a few one time when he was giving me oral sex. I didn't see any blood in his saliva or on my penis(I don't think).

I'm going to stay with him as I see this as a slight detour in our relationship, but not a roadblock or dead end. When we decide to have anal we will most definitely be wearing condoms. 

However, he is still working getting assistance with his medication so he is not on anything yet.  I was tested a few months ago, but I don't have access to free testing so I don't have the money laying around at the moment to do so.

I know you guys often saying oral is a no risk, but does it vary in situation?  Considering i had many encounters with a confirmed HIV+ man, likely with a high viral load, and he had some sores. If i need to I can get some money together for a test, but it's inconvienant and will stretch my budget this month.

Should we hold off on oral sex or use condoms until he is on medication?
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Offline Joe K

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Re: POZ Boyfriend
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2015, 10:32:02 pm »
Oral sex is not a risk for infection.  HIV is a very fragile virus that becomes damaged immediately when leaving the host, where changes in temperature and pH, alter the HIV rendering it unable to infect.  The mouth is another barrier in that it contains over a dozen proteins and enzymes that alter the HIV leaving it unable to infect.

There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections.

Joe
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Offline Jonnyptommy

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Re: POZ Boyfriend
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2015, 10:37:05 pm »
Even given the fact that we have some other factors to it? Sites in mouth, high viral load, etc. do you think it'd be best to avoid oral until his viral load is lower? Just to make it safer?
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Offline Joe K

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Re: POZ Boyfriend
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2015, 10:47:18 pm »
I gave you the latest science on oral sex that shows it is not a risk.  The risk from oral sex would be if you were to perform oral on someone, who had an incredibly high viral load and you had a badly compromised mouth, like meth mouth, that had large wounds that were bleeding profusely.  Certainly not an inviting way to have oral sex.

Joe
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Offline Jonnyptommy

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Re: POZ Boyfriend
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2015, 10:50:40 pm »
So you're completley confident that we can continue oral sex and have no chance of me becoming positive based off oral sex alone?
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Offline Joe K

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Re: POZ Boyfriend
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2015, 10:54:28 pm »
Quote from: Jonnyptommy on February 03, 2015, 10:50:40 pm
So you're completley confident that we can continue oral sex and have no chance of me becoming positive based off oral sex alone?

I've shared with you the latest science regarding the risks of oral sex.  It's up to the both of you to decide how to conduct your sexual activities together.

Joe
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