Worried, am I at risk?

[dj8527]

I have a few questions I need some advice with. I have a new partner who I’ve been seeing for about 5 months. Just recently we have been becoming a bit more serious and have started to become more adventurous. I have asked him about his status several times and is adamant he has not got anything and if he had he would tell me as he wants to be a police officer and keeping something like that would ruin his chances. We have done mostly mutual masturbation which I am told is not a risk for hiv. We have recently done what I think is called frottage. I’m a bit concerned as on two occasions he has pressed his penis hard against my anus, not penetrating but very firm and he produced a lot of pre cum which was deposited on my anal area. He also put his finger into my anus and I’m worried he may have pressed some pre cum into my anus that was there moments before. So please forgive my naivety but I want to know if I have a risk of hiv from these activities, his precum covered penis being pressed against my anus but not penetrating followed by him pushing his finger into my anus not long after, deep kissing and a short spell of me receiving oral sex and me giving oral sex and tasting a bit of precum, maybe a cut in my mouth on 1 occasion. There has been no unprotected anal sex. Also can semen on my penis transmit hiv? I am really worried and could use some advice, many thanks

[Ann]

DJ,

Nothing you're worried about is a transmission risk.

There's a simply way to stop worrying about his hiv status - simply use condoms for any anal intercourse. If you want to enter into a monogamous relationship with him, GO TEST TOGETHER before you stop using condoms. It's simple, really.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV OVER ANY OF YOUR SPECIFIC WORRIES, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann