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Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: Matty the Damned on February 27, 2010, 07:44:08 pm

Title: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 27, 2010, 07:44:08 pm
Not satisfied with chastising Haiti for making a pact with Lucifer, it seems God has turned his mercy and compassion on the people of Chile.

A huge magnitude 8.8 earthquake has struck Chile, killing at least 122 people, knocking down homes and hospitals, and triggering a tsunami that is spreading menacingly across the Pacific.

(linkage) (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/02/28/2832192.htm)

Glory!

MtD
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Rev. Moon on February 27, 2010, 11:29:47 pm
It will be up to that genius known as Pat Robertson to present another historical tidbit on how this largely religious nation [over 93% of its population practices some for of monotheism] managed to piss the heavens off (or some other stupidity).
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 27, 2010, 11:37:49 pm
Yairs.

I've always marvelled at the Almighty's love of slaughtering scores of his most devoted followers. I guess it's not for us to question how the Supreme Personality gets his kicks.

MtD
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: WillyWump on February 27, 2010, 11:45:43 pm
Yairs.

I've always marvelled at the Almighty's love of slaughtering scores of his most devoted followers. I guess it's not for us to question how the Supreme Personality gets his kicks.

MtD

Well I dont know about all that, I'm just concerned my supply of luscious Chilean Red wines might get disrupted.

-Will
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Rev. Moon on February 27, 2010, 11:48:17 pm
It must be some sort of vicious video game.

(http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0908/video-games-video-games-god-demotivational-poster-1250637931.jpg)

Side note: I wonder if He's also delaying the discovery of "teh cure" just for shits and giggles.


Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 28, 2010, 01:08:35 am
(http://tool.shagnasty.net/wiki/images/9/98/Vengeful_god.gif)

MtD
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: john33 on February 28, 2010, 04:15:57 am
Well I dont know about all that, I'm just concerned my supply of luscious Chilean Red wines might get disrupted.

-Will

Ah Will, Straight to the priorities ;D
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: veritas on February 28, 2010, 06:13:19 am


Just wait ------ You ain't seen nothing yet:

http://kolbrin.com/articles/end-times/end-times.jpg
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: john33 on February 28, 2010, 06:22:33 am
ooooh, we've got a couple of years the ;D

PARTY!!!!!!!

John (who looking forward to lots of good beer next week)
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: WillyWump on February 28, 2010, 11:14:50 am
Ah Will, Straight to the priorities ;D

I will put my concerns about my Red wines aside and offer this philosophical observation:

Are we as mere mortals so arrogant( of course we are) to think that this earth is heaven and anything that takes us from this earth is bad? Maybe this IS hell and those that were seemingly killed unjustly (the 2 y/o child, the 93 y/o pure grandmother) in these disasters were not enduring the wrath of GOD but were receiving the glory of GOD and taken out of this hell to a better place.

Please turn to page 21 of your Hymnals and rise as we sing along to "Glory, Glory Hallelujah"
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Hellraiser on February 28, 2010, 11:21:29 am
Good Vicar Hellraiser....

Today I shall be reading from Redbook.

(name that comedian)
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Jeff G on February 28, 2010, 12:22:35 pm
I have a friend that became an ordained minister last week with a credit card and the click of a mouse . I'm thinking I'm going to do the same and maybe get me one of those snazzy collars to wear for family reunions and special occasions . My southen baptist family is gonna be so proud of me .
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: BT65 on February 28, 2010, 05:44:20 pm
I have a friend that became an ordained minister last week with a credit card and the click of a mouse . I'm thinking I'm going to do the same and maybe get me one of those snazzy collars to wear for family reunions and special occasions . My southen baptist family is gonna be so proud of me .

Jeff, if it works for ya, let me know so I can do the same!  I'd love to dole out some wrath.
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 28, 2010, 05:54:25 pm
Matty the Damned is an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church of Modesto California (http://www.ulc.net/) and has been since aught-7. He even forked out the USD$7.95 for the shiny wallet card and sundry documents confirming his status as an Official Preacher.

The ordination itself is free. You only have to pay for the bling - which is optional.

The Fabulously Reverend MtD
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: BT65 on February 28, 2010, 05:57:17 pm
Oh dearest MD, I will be checking out that link, so I also can partake of the fierceness of being ordained.

Edited to add:  I have just applied for ordination.  My request is being reviewed by the pastoral staff.  Soon I may be able to perform exorcisms!
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Jeff G on February 28, 2010, 10:03:59 pm
Thanks for the link Matty . It is written that I shall be ordained before the weekend . The lord laid it on my heart to save the link you provided .
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: anniebc on March 01, 2010, 05:20:54 pm
In future you will all address me as Sister Jan..for the Lord hath spoken ;)

So from now on it's...Nun of this, Nun of that and Nun of the other for me, God, I hope he doesn't want me to make a habit of that..;D

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: RapidRod on March 01, 2010, 05:24:22 pm
In future you will all address me as Sister Jan..for the Lord hath spoken ;)

So from now on it's...Nun of this, Nun of that and Nun of the other for me, God, I hope he doesn't want me to make a habit of that..;D

Hugs
Jan :-*
I'm not going to touch the habit. But I have some pictures.  :D
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 01, 2010, 05:25:18 pm
In future you will all address me as Sister Jan..for the Lord hath spoken ;)

So from now on it's...Nun of this, Nun of that and Nun of the other for me, God, I hope he doesn't want me to make a habit of that..;D

Hugs
Jan :-*

I think we can do better than Sister Jan, my dear. How about "Sister Ejaculata Lovetinkle"?

:)

MtD
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: BT65 on March 01, 2010, 05:58:31 pm
So Jan, did you apply for ordination?  I'm sure it would help your new career, being a card-carrying preacher, you know, to console the ambulance riders.
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Jeff G on March 01, 2010, 09:25:15 pm
As of 4:32 pm this afternoon I am a ordained minister . I'm waiting till I get my wellfare check on the third so I can order my gold embossed wallet ID .   
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: anniebc on March 01, 2010, 09:31:46 pm
I think we can do better than Sister Jan, my dear. How about "Sister Ejaculata Lovetinkle"?

:)

MtD

Now why didn't I think of that...kinda rolls off the tongue don't ya think.. ;D

Betty..yes I'm offically ordained, it seems to be working I've used the name "Jesus christ" several times today already.

Rod...Photo's, what photo's ..do I need to worry, do I need to start sending money...and if so how much will the photo's and negatives cost me.

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Rev. Moon on March 02, 2010, 12:28:26 am
In future you will all address me as Sister Jan..for the Lord hath spoken ;)

So from now on it's...Nun of this, Nun of that and Nun of the other for me, God, I hope he doesn't want me to make a habit of that..;D

Sexy Sister Jan (Sister Kharn El Joy)

(http://i812.photobucket.com/albums/zz42/livebythemoon/G11085.jpg)
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Hellraiser on March 02, 2010, 12:30:37 am
That's the outfit I wore to my last date.

(I'm kidding)

Although I did go on a date with a guy once and later he told me there was no way we could seriously date since he was going to be ordained as a priest in the catholic church.  He was hot too, I just had visions of "thornbirds" in my head.
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Rev. Moon on March 02, 2010, 12:56:31 am
Although I did go on a date with a guy once and later he told me there was no way we could seriously date since he was going to be ordained as a priest in the catholic church.  He was hot too, I just had visions of "thornbirds" in my head.

The poor cats and all that sexual repression.  

The only way that I'd consider being ordained in any religion would be if I can get to hear errbody's dirty little secrets.  I would then dispense seriously harsh penances (or perhaps consider indulgences).
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 02, 2010, 01:06:38 am
As of 4:32 pm this afternoon I am a ordained minister . I'm waiting till I get my wellfare check on the third so I can order my gold embossed wallet ID .   

Welcome Brother!

The Official ULC Wallet Bling is totally worth the fork out. It's all shiny and embossed and has a groovy hologram (hello 1989!) thingy on it.

Also, NSW Rail Transit cops will accept it as identification when they fine you for not having a ticket because you were coming down and only just made it to the station depsite nearly having a stroke and almost missing your train.

The cunts. :)

MtD
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: GSOgymrat on March 02, 2010, 07:43:26 am
Going back to the original topic...

Chile quake may have shortened days

(CNN) -- The massive earthquake that struck Chile on Saturday may have shifted the Earth's axis and created shorter days, scientists at NASA say.

The change is negligible, but permanent: Each day should be 1.26 microseconds shorter, according to preliminary calculations. A microsecond is one-millionth of a second.

A large quake shifts massive amounts of rock and alters the distribution of mass on the planet.

When that distribution changes, it changes the rate at which the planet rotates. And the rotation rate determines the length of a day.



http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/03/02/chile.quake/index.html?eref=rss_topstories&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fcnn_topstories+%28RSS%3A+Top+Stories%29&utm_content=My+MSN
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: J.R.E. on March 02, 2010, 07:55:43 am


I think I heard that the Axis shift was about 3 inches, and that one city is now 6 feet higher than before the quake ! 
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: skeebo1969 on March 02, 2010, 11:45:12 am

I think I heard that the Axis shift was about 3 inches, and that one city is now 6 feet higher than before the quake !  

 The world is coming to an end and the Messiah will return!  Unfortunately everyone will be disappointed when it's Bob Marley strumming a guitar proclaiming "Every little thing gonna be all right".
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Boo Radley on March 02, 2010, 01:13:17 pm
Going back to the original topic...

Chile quake may have shortened days
...

Shortened days, Schmortened days... what natural disaster is going to get rid of this goddam cold weather??

Back to hibernation mode.

P.S.  As we all remember it was the almighty god who smote (smoted?.... ) unrepentant sinners, the vast majority Christian, by sending Hurricane Katrina their way.  He moves in mysterious waves.
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: anniebc on March 02, 2010, 03:49:37 pm
Going back to the original topic...

Chile quake may have shortened days

I agree GSO this thread did get a bit off track...but really does One millionth of a second, (or just over) mean anything, I don't think I can even blink that fast....it's awful what the families in Chile are going through, so very sad and so many dead...but do you really think they are worried about losing a millionth of a second when they have lost so much more than that...who could even start to work that out in the middle of a huge disaster like that..and why?

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: anniebc on March 02, 2010, 04:03:18 pm
Sexy Sister Jan (Sister Kharn El Joy)

(http://i812.photobucket.com/albums/zz42/livebythemoon/G11085.jpg)


LOL @ Moon...now put a 61 year old body in that costume, not a pretty sight is it, and don't blame me if you  throw up..you started it.. ;D

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: BT65 on March 02, 2010, 05:31:35 pm
The Official ULC Wallet Bling is totally worth the fork out. It's all shiny and embossed and has a groovy hologram (hello 1989!) thingy on it.
MtD

Damn it, how do I get that wallet card?!  I didn't see the link for that, or I would most definitely have ordered it.  I found out this morning that I am now an ordained minister of, hmmm, oh hell, now I can't remember the name of the church.
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 02, 2010, 06:44:08 pm
Damn it, how do I get that wallet card?!  I didn't see the link for that, or I would most definitely have ordered it.  I found out this morning that I am now an ordained minister of, hmmm, oh hell, now I can't remember the name of the church.

Let's go shopping, Reverend Sister B! (http://www.ulc.net/index.php?page=shop)

You want the Mini Clergy Package. Seems the GFC has bitten even the First Estate. Costs USD$14.95 these days.

Ah well. Render unto God that which is His. Render unto Caesar as much you can spare. ;)

MtD
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: anniebc on March 02, 2010, 09:12:30 pm
I'm going for the "Friar Tuck Women's Traditional Tab Blouse, Short-sleeve" at $39.00..and I think Sister B and Sister A should follow my lead... :D

Tailored especially with your comfort in mind, this blouse has been made from easy-care fabric. Features soft pleats in the front and back, set-in sleeves, and a hemmed bottom for wearing untucked. Available in black or white only.  

See Matty's link for photo's

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: End Times Indeed: The Lord Judges Chile!
Post by: BT65 on March 03, 2010, 04:36:54 am
Thanks for the link, MtD.  Weeee!  And yes Jan, I love that blouse.  I'd love to wear it to work and see what my boss (who is a female pastor) thinks about it.  Of course she may be offended, since it took her some years to get her pastorship. :)