POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 08:30:48 am

Title: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 08:30:48 am
I am luck enough to find this website which I can get some help.  Thanks all for the great work!

Sorry about my ugly English as I am not a native English speaker.  Hopefully you guys understand what I am talking about.  Please feel free to ask questions if you need some clarification.

Here is the situation:

My wife is pregnant and the baby is due at end of Oct.  I made a biggest mistake in my like that I had unprotected insertive oral sex and protected vaginal sex with a sex work at Aug. 1 in a biz trip.   I deeply kissed my wife the next day after I backed home.   One week later (7 days) my wife developed flu like symptoms headache, snuffling, nausea, muscle ache and feeling tired. All gone after 5 days.  Started from week 2 (Aug. 15) both of us had bad mouth ulcer.  I had two swollen lymph nodes under my jaw.  Around week 4 (Aug 28), I started to have muscle ache, the ache moved from my arms to legs and to my neck and joints.  I only lasted about 10 seconds in one place and moved on.  During this period of time, I had sore throat, one day I even waked up by the sore throat.  I also felt tired. The symptoms went away after one and half weeks.  This freaked me out as I know the HIV symptoms all comes and goes all at once.  This is exactly what I have.  Yesterday I felt better physically but my mind just thinking about I may just get HIV from my one stupid action. 

I am going to take a six week HIV test tomorrow but I am so sure I will get a positive result based on what I feel and the symptoms I have. 

One thing I could not accept and will shoot myself dead is I could have transmitted HIV to my wife and my baby by KISSING. 

I know a 12/13 weeks test has to  be done to be conclusive but I need allow sometime to treat my wife if she got infected to prevent from infecting my baby. 

Could someone here give me some suggestions what should I do now? Please.....


Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 10, 2006, 08:38:15 am
My wife is pregnant and the baby is due at end of Oct.  I made a biggest mistake in my like that I had unprotected insertive oral sex and protected vaginal sex with a sex work at Aug. 1 in a biz trip.   I deeply kissed my wife the next day after I backed home.

Blue,

You cannot catch HIV from having someone perform oral sex on you. Since you had protected vaginal sex you don't have to worry about HIV from that either. Your wife and unborn child are not at risk of catching HIV from you. You don't have HIV and anyway HIV is not transmitted through kissing.

Please read our Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) to learn how HIV is and is not transmitted.

MtD
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Andy Velez on September 10, 2006, 08:58:34 am
Stop self-diagnosing. It's bad for your health.

It's very good that you are having a six week test tomorrow. Not because you were at risk for HIV, because you weren't. Condoms provide very effective protection against HIV and there's never been a documented case of transmission via kissing or getting a blow job. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

Of course I expect you to test negative despite all your fears and symptoms and your wife's symptoms and etc. etc.

This is all about guilt. You need to stop torturing yourself about this incident. You're a dog like the rest of us and you went straying. You can't undo that. So take a good deep breath and let it go. Guilt is poisonous in a relationship so the best thing you can do for all concerned is just get on with your life.

By the way, the average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure. So when you collect the inevitable negative result at 6 weeks you have the next best thing to a gold seal. Given your current state of mind about this your mind may continue working overtime with nonsense about being infected. In which case re-test at 13 weeks and collect another negative result.

This is not an HIV situation. It's about guilt and not HIV.

No kidding.

Cheers,   
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 09:03:26 am
Thanks Matty for the reply.  I indeed read the welcome thread and understand oral sex has none or negligible risk for HIV.  But I just could not understand the reason of my symptoms and it perfectly matches the time.  I know anxiety or worry could cause it but how come it just went away while I am still worrying...

BTW, I just want to add that I also felt pain under my arms and behind my ear.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 10, 2006, 09:05:39 am
Blue,

Andy has hit the nail on the head. You're overcome with guilt. You believe that you should be punished for what you've done and, like many people, you've decided that AIDS is the appropriate penalty.

AIDS is not a punishment for wrong-doing. It's just a disease. And you don't have it my friend. We can't help you with your guilt, but we can assure you that this is not an HIV situation.

Symptoms mean nothing when it comes to diagnosing HIV, by the way.

MtD
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 09:06:56 am
Another thing I want to mention is that I am going to level to my wife about this issue as soon as I get my six week test result.  My wife told me I was wild these days to exam her whole body ten times a day...
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 10, 2006, 09:09:04 am
Well, best of luck with the confession.

I would say that the biggest threat to your health at the moment is an enraged partner, not HIV.

MtD
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Andy Velez on September 10, 2006, 10:32:08 am
Obviously it is your decision to make. Remember, disclosing is something you can't unsay later.

Think for a moment if you are doing it just to indulge yourself dump the feelings you are uncomfortable with OR if it is really with the intention of strenthening your marriage AND you are prepared to live with whatever the consequences.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 11:19:27 am
Thanks Andy for the comments.  I will think again carefully before doing this...

I agree with you and I push hard to believe guilty and anxiety could be the reason of my symptoms.  I just regret very very much for doing this stupid thing and put myself and family on this kind of risk.  Those symptoms just freaked me out.  I keep counting days to have my six week test done.  I guess only the negative result could release my mind.  I am hoping I could have those muscle ache again but it just wont happen... 

In this forum, everyone says that receiving blowjob is not a risk for HIV, but I called several clinic and I was told "low risk, but not non risk.  Come get tested..."
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Ann on September 10, 2006, 11:51:05 am
Quote
I just regret very very much for doing this stupid thing and put myself and family on this kind of risk.

Blue,

You can call your actions stupid if you want, but I'm not going to let you call them a risk of hiv infection. Nothing you did put you at risk of infection. Stress out and test all you like, but that isn't going to change transmission facts.

Fact - getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Fact - condoms prevent hiv transmission and infection.

You did not have a risk of hiv infection.

Ann
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 01:01:45 pm
Thank you ALL for the reply.  It really made me feel much better. 

Just one more question:  Is it ok not to do the test based on my explosure (unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal sex) with a sex worker?

I am kind worry WHAT IF I got a positive result....
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 10, 2006, 01:11:59 pm
You won't get a positive result if you used a condom.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 01:27:40 pm
I will be back to declare my negative report.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 10, 2006, 10:35:52 pm
Sorry again I have couple new questions before I go to test tomorrow.

1.  Do you think my wife need to take the HIV test?  We only have deep kiss after my explosure. 

2.  Could anxiety/worry cause the symptoms I had (such as sore throat, tringle or ache in legs/arms/feet/behind ear, mouth ulcer)?  I am kind belive this as I recall that the ache feel like come from the nerves but not from the muscle.

3.  Finally I just want to reconfirm that I do NOT have HIV risk for unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal sex. right?

Best regards.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 11, 2006, 07:39:26 am
Can anyone answer my questions please please...  I guess I am just too chicken to have a test.  But what about my wife?
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 11, 2006, 08:04:55 am
Deep,

If you've had no risk for HIV infection and your wife has only been having unprotected sex with you, it follows that she doesn't need to test for HIV.

MtD
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 11, 2006, 02:17:10 pm
Delet
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 11, 2006, 11:19:49 pm
I am sorry I guess everyone here lost patient on me because of my previous post.  I apology...

I just learned from another site that"if there are ARS symptoms, most of time will come with fever".  Is it a correct statement? 

I am asking because I have muscle ache, sore throat but have not had any fever.  It that's true, then it will a good sign for me...

I appreciate if anyone can answer this question.

Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 11, 2006, 11:23:55 pm
Deep,

I'm going to tell you this ONE LAST TIME. If you choose not to listen, then tough titties my friend, because I'm not going to say it again.

You can't catch HIV from receiving a blowjob.
You can't catch HIV from kissing.
You weren't at risk of catching HIV.
Symptoms mean nothing when it comes to diagnosing HIV.


Do you understand me? I hope so because

This conversation is over.

MtD
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 11, 2006, 11:46:56 pm
Thank you Matty! I got it...  Don't be mad on me.  ;)  I am just think too much.  I should have been painting my baby's room at this moment...
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 13, 2006, 02:49:58 am
Sorry Ann, Andy and Matty;

I waked up in the 2:50AM and worrying about my situation.  Just today I realized what is the geographic tongue.  I check my tongue and it start to have some red sore on it few weeks back.  I am scared.  I am not come here to cause problems.  Just feel longly, no hope.   Can anyone tell me that could geographic tongue happens on none HIV infection person please....
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 13, 2006, 03:02:26 am
Please please delet my previous post regarding I am going to be the first document case.  I do NOT want to be...
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Ineedhelp on September 13, 2006, 03:27:03 am
Sorry: delete Post
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 13, 2006, 03:46:01 am
Ineedhelp, please keep all of your thoughts and questions in your own thread. 
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 13, 2006, 10:03:10 am
It's me again.  I got some good news this morning that my 4 weeks test are "-" !!!!

I did not mention it before as I think I am going to test th 6 week milestone any way.

Now, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Can anyone tell me the accuracy for the 4 weeks result?
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Andy Velez on September 13, 2006, 10:20:29 am
It's very accurate for someone who wasn't at any risk to begin with. I am not going into further details about timing on tests because it's not relevant for you.

You weren't at risk no matter how you carry on about this incident. Period.

Keep testing all you want. It's a waste of $ and resources. This is not an HIV situation. No kidding.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 13, 2006, 10:30:04 am
Thank you Andy!  Very encouraging...

I have been up all night worrying about the test result.  It took 2.5 weeks to get the result and normally it only take 1-2 week.  You know WW people always think negatively.   ;D
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 15, 2006, 12:52:37 pm
Guys,  Although I got a  Are you still so confident that I will get a negative result for my 6 week test? 

I had the following symptoms between week5 and week6. 

1.  sore throat.   Start with scratchy throat and then sore throat for 2 days. 

2.  Muscle ache/tingling around the body (arms, legs, feet, shouder, lower back, hip, chest and back of my ears)  It's moving from one place to another. Not happening all day.  It just last few seconds here and there.

3.  3 red flat unitchy rash.  On at the waist and two in the groin  area.  It similar to the eczema I had before and went away in 2 days after medicine. 

4.  Two swell lymph under my jaw.  Pain when I touch them. 

5.  stiff arms and legs for 2 days. 

6.  Possible geographic tongue or strep throat (I'll have my dentist to check it out next Monday).  It was breakout at first day week7.  I think it could contributed by the stress after reading the false positive alarm from the Lovelife guy in this forum.  I still see the rash on the tongue.  And feel something in my throat.

Symptoms 1-3 has gone since week 6 and never come back. 

Also I have two specific question to ask:

1. If ARS rash start, should we see a few of them or 2-3 rash will still be concerned?

2. Based on your experience, do you think my symtoms are a sign of ARS or seroconversion? 

3.  Is keratode skin a symptom for HIV/AIDS?  The sex worker I meet has keratode skin allover her body. She told me it could because she took too many showers everyday. 

I do understand that you only do risk assesment in this website.  But please provide your opinion.   I have a special situation here, my wife is going to deliver the baby by end of Oct.  I am hesitate to take the 6 weeks result when it's available in the next two weeks.  I plan to pick it up after by baby was born.  As I dont want to crash before that and impact my wife/baby.

Again,  my sex explosure is insertive unprotected oral and protected vaginal intercourse and then a very brife insertive unprotected oral.

This is the only sex explosure I have this year since my wife's preganency at Jan.

Thank you so much to take your time read and reply my questions!


 




Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 15, 2006, 12:56:05 pm
Deep,

What have we told you about symptoms?

MtD
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 15, 2006, 01:14:22 pm
Hi Mdt,

I understand I was told "Symptoms mean nothing when it comes to diagnosing HIV."  Just could not understand what else could cause the symptoms I had and what a coincident if it is somether other than HIV.

So can you say I have ZERO risk in term of HIV infection for the sex explosure I descripted?

Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 15, 2006, 03:16:35 pm
blue, your question has already been answered several times. Please re-read your thread.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 18, 2006, 07:44:26 am
I decided not to pick up my six weeks result as I know I will crash if I got a "+".  I could not give me a reason for all the symptoms in week 5.  My wife and the unborn baby need me at this special period of time.  I will check it out two month later. 

I must be REALLY unlucky as this is the only sex I have since wife preganent. 
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 18, 2006, 08:18:30 am
You can drop the drama, you didn't have a risk...PERIOD
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 18, 2006, 08:39:12 am
Thank you Rod and all the people reply to my thread.  I know you guys must lose patient on me by keeping telling me the same thing (I did not have a risk by receving a blowjob and pretected vaginal sex).  and I am keep acting nuts. 

I read your reply everyday many times and it will ease my mind for a while. and then when I get into bed I start worry about my symptoms.  The dam symptoms!

I guess I will have to get some mental health help. 

Sorry I have been so bothersome and thanks very much everyone to be so helpful. 

In case on day I pick a negative report. I will come back screaming" SYMPTOMS MEAN NOTHING HEN IT COMES TO DIAGNOSING HIV!!!"

Wish me luck!
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 18, 2006, 05:46:42 pm
Just back from the dentist office.  The Dr. checked my tongue and said the bumps are just taste buds.  It is not a viral infection.   She also said there is no big deal for my mouth ulcer.  I can not believe this, I never notice those taste buds before last week and I have mouth ulcer for about a month now and she said she does not see a problem.   

Can anyone tell me I am just overreacting for the NONE HIV risk sex exploser?
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 18, 2006, 07:46:34 pm
We've already told you that from the beginning. You didn't have a risk.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 18, 2006, 09:16:05 pm
Thanks Rod.  I guess just because I am under too much stress in the last few weeks.  I just hardly change the way I am thinking.  Although you guys tell me all the time "no risk", I am still thinking about the what if I get HIV, and what about my wife and the unborn baby....  Last night, I just waked up by a nightmare about both I and my wife got a positive result.  Very scary!!!!   I have to take sleepaid medicine in the past 7 days. 

BTW, I just back from my family doc.  The mouth swap I did last week shows I do not have strep infection.  Do not know if this is a good news or what.  Another doc. checked my mouth again and said I may have mono?? or m..sth infection (did not catch what is that).  They gave me Zithromax (6 tabs).  for the infection.  Anyone know what is this for?

Thank you everyone to be so supportive during the hardest time in my life!!!
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 18, 2006, 09:37:42 pm
Did some research on the internet. 

It must be mononucleosis infection.  Start to worry as I know ARS symptoms is just like mononucleosis infection.  I guess the diffrence is ARS will go away in 2-3 weeks.  But mononucleosis will stay longer if not treated, right? The lymph nodes under my jaw has been there for about 6 weeks now.  Sometimes pain sometimes not.  Sometimes become hard to feel..

I hope I just get a mono infection that simple, this will explain the swell nodes.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 19, 2006, 02:23:04 pm
After reading the encouraging words in the thread ten times, I went to the clinic hoping for a negative result.  But, I was told the mail was delayed and I have to come back next week.  Again!!!  Panic start...

I developed a bad cough last night.  I guess it was caused by the dose I took before went to bed. 

Today is the first day of week 8 of my exploser.  Is there anything I need to worry about the cough?

Have a good day everyone!
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 19, 2006, 03:51:42 pm
If you can afford having the internet then you can afford to go to the doctor. Quit playing doctor on yourself. You didn't have a risk for HIV and now you're wanting to play a guessing game. It's time to stop.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 21, 2006, 10:11:54 pm
I leveled with my wife today as I could not cope the fear of being infected any more.

My wife was surprisingly calm and supportive.  She said I should have told her long time ago and urged me to stop surfing internet and checking my swollen lymph nodes.  Actually she has already suspected something happened to me as I have been so wired these days.  We have not decide the name for our unborn baby yet...  She told me she will go with me to take the test result whenever I am ready. 

We went to see a Dr. and took a HIV test for her just to be on the safe side.  Although the Dr. almost refused to do the test.

I think the chance I get infected by my low to no risk exposure is similar this win the highest lottery in on ticket.   I bought one today and I've never been so happy that I did not win anything.

I showed my wife this forum and all your reply regarding my issue.  She is now sitting beside me and would like to take this chance to say Thank you Andy, Thank you Ann, Thank you Mtd and Thank you RapidRod for being so supportive during my hardest time in my life!

We decide to donate some money to the local AIDS organization and will do volunteer there if possible. 


Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Ann on September 22, 2006, 06:02:09 am
Blue,

It sounds like you have a very caring and supportive wife - treat her well, and good luck with the baby.


And remember, you did NOT have a risk of hiv infection.

Ann

Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 22, 2006, 10:05:47 pm
Thank you Ann for the reassuring. 

It just take time for me to get over the fear from reading those scary information from other websites.  Some Dr. even said they know clients getting HIV from receiving blowjob. 

Also I won't worry too much if I did not have those symptoms although I have been told again and again "symptoms mean nothing"...

I am sorry to be so paranoid but I am sure I will get on life finally.  I know the negative result is inevitable from your view.

Wish me luck!

Cheers,

DB
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 26, 2006, 11:23:37 am
Enough is enough!  I am not allow my soul controlled by the fear of the non risk exposure. 
I am going to pick up my 6 weeks result this afternoon with my wife.

wish me luck!
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Ann on September 26, 2006, 12:04:10 pm
blue,

Luck? What do you need luck for? You didn't have a risk of infection. I'd say you've already got plenty of luck - you're lucky to have such an understanding wife and lucky to have a healthy family. Go count and enjoy your blessings and stop fretting about this no risk encounter before your wife loses patience with you.

Ann
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 26, 2006, 01:33:27 pm
YOU ARE RIGHT!!!

SYMPTOMS MEAN NOTHING WHEN IT COMES TO DIAGNOSING HIV!!!

My test result is NEGATIVE!!!

Thank you very very much Ann, Andy, Mtd and Rod!!!!

You are wonderful people, keep up the good work.

God bless you!

BTW, I talked to the manager of the HIV/AIDS support center, I will do volunteer job twice a week there. 

Blue and wife Nancy





Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 28, 2006, 06:25:48 pm
Now I am really really worried.   

We picked up my wife's 6.5 weeks result and it is INCONCLUSIVE.   So please help me understand what's going on here.  All we had was KISSING.

The test done are:

Test                                         Result
HIV 1/2 Screen MEIA                  Reactive
HIV 1/2 Supplemnetal EIA           Non Reactive
HIV 1 Western Blot                     Non Reactive
HIV 1 P24 Antigen Screen           Non Reactive

I understand that a positive need to be confirmed by western blot test.  But it looks like western blot is only for HIV 1 but not for HIV 2.   So is it possible I transfer the HIV 2 to my wife by kissing?
Don't know how reilable my 6 weeks negative result.

Please answer my questions.

Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 28, 2006, 06:27:33 pm
The Dr. told us dont worry.   It happens on pregnant women.  Is it ture.  Have you seen this before?

Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Ann on September 28, 2006, 06:41:40 pm
Blue,

Yes, pregnancy can cause false positives. Your wife is hiv negative, as shown by her negative Western Blot.

Ann
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 28, 2006, 07:01:16 pm
Hi Ann,

The problem is WB test is for HIV 1 only.  Is it possible my wife got HIV 2 and the WB did not detect it?

Thanks for your reply.

Blue
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Ann on September 28, 2006, 07:07:49 pm
Blue,

No, the problem is that you never had a risk for hiv infection. The problem is you don't have hiv. The problem is that you haven't listened to a thing we have said to you.

Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Never has been, never will be, not one person has ever been infected this way and you will not be the first.

Kissing is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Never has been, never will be, not one person has ever been infected this way and your wife will not be the first.


You and your wife are BOTH hiv negative.

Ann
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 28, 2006, 09:26:50 pm
Sorry Ann for PMing you. I won't do that again. 

It is incorrect that I have not listened to you people have said to me.  Actually we went out the day before yesterday to celebrate my negative result.  And I stop using the sleep aid medicine that night and sleep like a pig. 

Both my wife and I was shocked by the positive ELISA result.  Although we was told that it is not uncommon to have a false positive result.  What a coincident!   

I am sorry for keep worrying about this while everyone tell me it is not a HIV situation and my wife is safe for sure. 

Could you please answer my last question:  Is it possible that ELISA test picked up the antibody but WB did not detect it?  Or a WB test will always be positive if the people really get infected and be positive for the ELISA test?

Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 28, 2006, 09:38:34 pm
The answer is NO. WB is a confirmative test. If you tested positive and it was a false positive the WB would be the correction for your false test. The last say on testing, is the WB.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Andy Velez on September 28, 2006, 09:38:49 pm
Between the Elisa and the western blot, the latter is the more specific and sensitive test, which is why a negative on the western blot always trumps a positive on the ELISA.

You're negative, you're wife is negative and all of the rest is just more static to keep your fears alive because of your guilt. You can't give your wife something you don't have and this chatter about HIV 1 and HIV 2 is in a word...ridiculous. No kidding.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 28, 2006, 10:07:24 pm
Thank you all for the encoraging words.   We are reading words by words and are getting better now.   We are hoping the ELISA test just picked up something caused by the preganency.   

Here I am trying to list some facts to help myself:

1.  My test at day 43 was negative
2.  My wife's positive ELISA test was trumped by the negative WB test
3.  Getting a blowjob is not a risk for HIV infection
4.  HIV can not trasmitted by kissing
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 30, 2006, 08:18:01 am
What a typical worrier!  You won't believe what I did yesterday.  After 5 hours driving, I met the lady I had sex with two month ago.  I took her to a clinic and a rapid HIV test was done there.  She is negative.  But to be honest, it does not help much for me.  New ideas keep coming out... I Know I went to the wrong direction at the very beginning and hard to come back.  My wife is doing good though, she just take what you guys said to me and what her Dr. explained to her.  She is so relax.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Ann on September 30, 2006, 08:26:16 am
Blue,

Not only are you and your wife both hiv negative, but so is the woman who gave you this famous blowjob. She can't give you what she doesn't have.

You got a blowjob, now get over it already. Blowjobs are not a risk for hiv infection. Never have been, never will be.

If you insist on continuing to come here to fret about your negative hiv status, I will give you a time out to encourage you to get the face-to-face help you need in order to properly deal with your sex related anxieties. We cannot do that for you here. Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on September 30, 2006, 08:59:52 pm
I am sorry Ann.  The false positive ELISA was so scary.  I recall that she had a routine HIV test few month before by her Dr.  No false positive at that time though.

Have you seen people with positive ELISA and negative western blot and finally tested HIV negative before?

Thanks.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: RapidRod on September 30, 2006, 09:40:29 pm
If you have a positive ELISA and a NEGATIVE Western Blot, then the result is NEGATIVE.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Andy Velez on October 01, 2006, 08:21:50 am
I'll tell you what we have seen, Deep. We've seen guys who strayed and were so wracked with guilt they simply wouldn't let go of worrying, no matter that they weren't at risk to start with.

Get the pitch?

This is not an HIV situation. How long are you planning to subject yourself, your wife and your unborn child to this drama?

And don't bother apologizing again for just one more question or how the thoughts just won't leave you alone. Feelings and thoughts are not facts. You are HIV negative. Period. END OF STORY.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on October 15, 2006, 06:13:04 pm
Ok.  I am back to update the status and seek for experts opinions.

My wife's second test was back with the same result as the first one:  reactive ELISA and non-reactive western blot.

Her Dr. said she is not infected with HIV and the reactive ELISA may be caused by the pregnancy.  I think if the ELISA did detected HIV anti-body in the first test, then WB test after two weeks should be able to detected it, right?

Can anyone tell me if we should worry about the result? 

Thanks in advance for your answers.
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: deepblue on October 16, 2006, 11:24:32 pm
Please don't just ignor my post here.  I just want to know if I need to take my wife for another test based on her two positive ELISA and two negative western blot tests?
Title: Re: Worried to dead. Please help!!! Wife pregnant!!
Post by: Matty the Damned on October 16, 2006, 11:28:13 pm
NO. YOU DON'T NEED TO TEST NOR DOES YOUR WIFE.

MtD