POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: fireguy45601 on July 08, 2006, 01:57:12 am
-
Ok here it goes! My health Is doing good., Everything else is going to pot. Well lets see I am on the state medical card and I had a spend down of 600.00 a month which Odap paid for which is Kewl. Well my wife goes back to work and of course I can't get on her insurance and because the income change my Spenddown goes to 1800 a month I asked my case worker is she freaking crazy there is no way for me to pay that and Odap will only pay 1200 a month which is leaving me 600 a month to pay. I am like OMG!!!! What the sam hill to do now. I can't afford the spenddown I have 2 kids to take care of this totally blows. So now I am faced with this decision to take meds and live on with my kids not getting the things they need or GIVE UP!!! To be honest I want to give up I will be less of a burden on my kids and my wife. The federal and state government could care less about any of us to them we are just a number and they could care less if we live or DIE. So right now I am depressed and I am an emotional Wreck. So right now I am going to give my kids everything they could ever have and the love I can give to them cause after next month I will go off my medications and not knowing what damn bug could catch me and bring me down is a wait and see game. Good Luck everyone.
Fireguy45601 :'(
-
Fireguy,
I feel your frustration, but giving up is definitely not the answer. Your kids need their father and your wife needs her husband. In the beginning, after being diagnosed, the desire to give up crossed my mind often. It got so bad that my therapist at my ASO had me Baker Acted because she thought I would harm myself. Finally reality set in and I realized I need to be here for my kids no matter what.
The economic issues you are having are much different than the woes I suffered from being newly diagnosed. I hope someone here can give some advice on how to deal with this.
It is my belief that the pain caused by losing their father will be far greater that anything you think they'll lose with you here. I wish you the best of luck in finding some kind of alternative.
Thomas
-
Federal and state only gives you enough to survive by their numbers, never understood 'their math'...you learn one day, step at a time, don't know what I would do if I had family. It's difficult at best to care for my self on SSD with medicare and medicaid. Seems "they" want you to have NO quality of life and give up everything that they determine unnecessay, cable, internet, etc. live in a project?
-
Hey Fireguy,
Yipes, what a thing to be hit with. I am assuming you are the same Fireguy from the old forums, right?
Why can't you sign up on your wife's insurance? Is the cost prohibitive or is there a pre-existing condition clause that is tripping you up?
If her insurance carrier (which I presume comes as a heath benefit of her employment) has refused to enroll you because of your health status, you need to get that in writing. I don't know about where you live, but that would qualify you for some state programs here, including ADAP, which would pay for your meds.
I am unfamiliar with Odap. Is it ADAP where you live?
I am trying to wrack my brain to come up with something that might help. Because you are a parent, you should qualify for Title IV status. I don't know if that will help or not, because things vary so much from state to state.
Here, under Title IV, you would be able to access Ryan White, which would pay for your doctor visits and labs.
Because everything varies so much, I can't really say do this or do that. I have run into people who simply earn too much money to qualify for anything, yet don't make enough to pay for their medical care. It is a Catch 22 that a growing number of people are falling into.
I wish I could be more help. Good luck to you and please let us know what happens.
HUGS,
Mark
-
So right now I am going to give my kids everything they could ever have and the love I can give to them cause after next month I will go off my medications and not knowing what damn bug could catch me and bring me down is a wait and see game.
Fireguy,
I hear your frustration. Your low state of mind is probably sucking the hope right out of you.
That said, don't take away their father. All the material goods on earth won't make up for the loss of having you in their lives.
Daniel
-
Hey you!Just be yourself and do the best you can with what you've got,keep faith in the Lord our GOD,and his son Jesus Christ,Do this and you will overcome my fellow warrior,I will add you and your family in my prayers,and pray that you have happiness,peace,and love in your life,have a great summer eh!joey from sudbury,ont.can. ps .move to canada!
-
I have to agree with Daniel...I think its more important for you to be in your kid's life. Although I do feel your flustration with Federal and State Governments....Hang in there....and take one day at a time. Things have a way of working out. Big Hug!
-
Thank you all for your positive attitude! I actually got a glimmer of hope today from ODAP and yea it is the same as ADAP! They are putting me on a formluary to get the required medications I need the down fall is if I get sick I have no medical insurance but there is several insurance companies that will take me and there is no pre-existing clause either which is great. ODAP said they would Pay for the insurance I just need to make my mind up on which one. Thank God! He is watching over me. But yea everything is falling back in place and yea my wife's insurance did have a pre-existing clause which sucked. Heck I was so happy today I lost my 10 year old lab on Sat and I got all this news Friday I get this call From ODAP and a woman that lives on my road found my dog and her pup and brought them home to me and i haven't felt better than what I do Right now. There is someone out there watching me! Again Thank you all for the positive outlook !
With Love
Fireguy45601
PS
Yea it is me from the old group
-
Glad you're feeling better now Fireguy.
One thing I've learned while living with this virus is that nothing lasts forever - not the good and not the bad. It makes more sense to wait things out sometimes. If there's such a thing as HIV mood swings I get them. Also what I refer to as brain-farts. That would be moments similar to senior moments. You know, you go into a room and forget why you are there.
Either that or I'm just gettin' old. :-*
Daniel
-
I have 2 kids too. I am sorry about your situation but I bet your kids would rather have YOU than things. Your care and attention and love is priceless. Come on Dad, stick around for the good stuff! Help is there and it will find you, look everywhere.
It is a hard path just keep looking in those little eyes, they will give you hope. Put that hand of theres in yours and the energy you get from that will charge your spirit. I know.
We have gone without to pay for doctors and meds but there laughter is worth the lack of something else. I keep food on the table and clothes on there backs as well as a good education for them. We do what we have to. Just don't loose sight on how much your presence is needed. You can't be replaced and the only dad they have. Take great value in who you are and all you give of yourself.
Jeff
-
Fireguy,
I was wondering about you and I am glad to hear the good news!
Hang in there buddy...
Thomas