Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 29, 2024, 07:19:49 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 37614
  • Latest: bondann
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772953
  • Total Topics: 66311
  • Online Today: 741
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 445
Total: 445

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: You Know What, F**K IT!  (Read 2522 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline LostChild89

  • Member
  • Posts: 44
  • The sweetest thing I've ever known...
You Know What, F**K IT!
« on: May 21, 2014, 10:26:24 pm »
Okay so I can (again) use some perspective. I live with my parents due to a job loss in November in Houston. I lived in New Orleans for eight years prior to. Now, my parents know about me being gay but know NOTHING of be being poz. I don't think I will tell them unless I absolutely have to.

Anyway, when I was diagnosed in February, I went kinda off the grid, rightfully so. So from the first preliminary positive in late January until the blood work test in mid March, I was a MOODY BITCH. And I wasn't really working on finding a long term position with the same tenacity as I did before. Well, now that I know I will live, I am back on the grind trying to find myself, a career in my field, and get everything with my mental health in order (previously told you guys I'm bipolar).

The problem is EVERYONE thinks I'm moody and lazy. I don't want to have to continue to answer to people, especially family. Because I am not ready to share my status with them yet, I can't dig deep into why I was "off" but now that I'm back on my grind I feel like I have to answer for more than I'm willing...

I hate seeming like a liar, but if they knew, they wold understand why I was where I was and where I am now.
Exposure June 2012
1st Poz Test 2/3/14
Diagnosed 2/12/14

2/13/14 CD4 1066 VL 765 35%
6/20/14 CD4 852  VL 15552 34%
9/24/14 CD4 787 VL 1764 34%
10/22/14 Started Triumeq
12/18/14 CD4 1114 VL UD 40%
06/26/17 CD4 1398 VL UD 45%

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 17,064
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: You Know What, F**K IT!
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2014, 10:31:17 pm »
When you said ...but if they knew, they wold understand why I was where I was and where I am now. 

That thought could be the answer .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 13,455
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: You Know What, F**K IT!
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2014, 10:50:54 pm »
Fuck what? I don't understand the point of your thread title.
Since you are bipolar, you are "moody".   Do people also see you as a bitch or were you just exaggerating there?  :o
I don't know much about bipolar but it doesn't seem like events in life need to be the blame - i thought it was a mood disorder and chemically based somehow? Is that right?  So if you don't want to tell your parents about HIV don't and stop thinking about it or any event as the "cause" you need to announce to explain your mood swings. Maybe the mood swings are inevitable no matter what events happen? 

Isn't it enough explanation for being moody to say to people - I'm bipolar?  Do your parents know you are bipolar?  Why don't you want to tell them you are HIV+, by the way?

You said previously some of your friends know you are HIV+ so how is that going? Getting the support you might need there?  Do your friends know you are bipolar?

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline pittman

  • Member
  • Posts: 286
Re: You Know What, F**K IT!
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2014, 12:31:21 am »
Since you are bipolar, you are "moody".   Do people also see you as a bitch or were you just exaggerating there?  :o

I have known four individuals who have shared with me that they were bipolar, including my first boyfriend.  While I saw all "off" at one point or another, moody is not how I would characterize any of them. More like when they were adjusting their meds their emotional balance was off and more extreme and it was infrequent enough that it was always out of character.  They basically had emotional reactions that seemed out of proportion to events.

Do your parents know you are bipolar?  Why don't you want to tell them you are HIV+, by the way?

You said previously some of your friends know you are HIV+ so how is that going? Getting the support you might need there?  Do your friends know you are bipolar?

I agree.  You don't own anyone an explanation. Giving one however to those you think can be a help to you may gain you support you would otherwise miss out on.

Best of luck in your job search in any case.

Offline LostChild89

  • Member
  • Posts: 44
  • The sweetest thing I've ever known...
Re: You Know What, F**K IT!
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2014, 09:53:31 pm »
The F it comment was just how I felt. And I was venting. They know I'm bipolar. But the downside of growing up in a southern black family is that they would rather say you have a demon than a chemical imbalance. Same reason I haven't said anything about HIV. My family think it's death... period. Even before I knew my diagnosis and explained it's not as scary as it used to be, they still cringe and think it's a gay disease. Enlightenment is a daily fight in my family. Trust.

My friends who know I'm bipolar and positive are awesome...But far away. They are, however, an awesome support system. They call as often add they can and have been researching with me meds and trials. They rock!

I'm working through it. I just wanted to vent. It's an old issue for me: having to prove or explain myself. I'm getting through.
Exposure June 2012
1st Poz Test 2/3/14
Diagnosed 2/12/14

2/13/14 CD4 1066 VL 765 35%
6/20/14 CD4 852  VL 15552 34%
9/24/14 CD4 787 VL 1764 34%
10/22/14 Started Triumeq
12/18/14 CD4 1114 VL UD 40%
06/26/17 CD4 1398 VL UD 45%

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 17,064
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: You Know What, F**K IT!
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2014, 10:02:39 pm »
Vent away lost one vent away . Im a southerner as well so I get where you are coming from with the family dynamic .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.