Author Topic: just found out... (Read 8895 times)

wernhervonbraun · « **on:** July 08, 2014, 10:43:21 pm »

Hi, ive been newly diagnosed positive, and ive got no clue what to do. Ive chosen to keep it secret mainly cause I have no one to tell. Ive mostly just been blocking it out and ignoring it, i dont want to think about it, its terrifying. Havent really talked to anyone yet, no idea what to expect.

Ruefulwonder · « **Reply #1 on:** July 08, 2014, 10:54:56 pm »

I know that feeling....I got my diagnosis three months ago and I am still scared, in shock, and in disbelief...you're definitely not alone here.

wernhervonbraun · « **Reply #2 on:** July 08, 2014, 10:59:14 pm »

I feel so alone, though. i dont really have anyone. Feels like im just waiting to die.

stuka · « **Reply #3 on:** July 08, 2014, 11:25:25 pm »

hi wernhervonbraun, you did not say what your CD4 count and viral load was when you first got diagnosed. I was diagnosed less than two months ago (May 9), so I'm fairly new to this as well.

I have been doing tons of reading and asking questions and from what I understand is that as long as you get on medication before your numbers drop below a certain threshold, your chances of living a long and relatively healthy life are very good.

I don't know which country you're in, but most places provide access to support organizations where you can talk to counsellors or other people in your city. For me the biggest help was talking to a few people in my city who had been on medication for many many years. It was so reassuring to see many folks who have been on medication for many years and doing quite well.

If you have not already done so, please see an HIV specialist as soon as possible and figure out if it makes sense to get on medication. You can also ask them to provide information about support groups or counseling in your area. Believe me, it helps a lot! There really is no need to suffer in silence.

NewAdventure1 · « **Reply #4 on:** July 08, 2014, 11:25:59 pm »

Hi,
I received my diagnosis June 3rd of this year. Was very hard to hear as I am starting Nursing school in August. I have had all sorts of emotions the past month, and I have onky told 4 people whom I am very close with and will probably never tell anyone else other than sexual partners.
It is overwhelming, as with the countless doctors appointment (which I am still going througb) all the blood work, physical exams, medication discussions, and financial worries. But it will get easier.
Best of luck, here for you if needed!

absopozilutely · « **Reply #5 on:** July 09, 2014, 01:19:28 am »

Newer here, I tested poz in February of this year, not exactly on my New Years resolution list but eh, that's my deck of cards. I'm sorry you're here, really you will be fine, yes read information but make sure it's all newer information, if you read shit that's older then 3-5 years it can be scary but really we've made huge progress these past few years and much more progress the next few more. You will be fine, the sooner you believe that the sooner you will be ok.

wernhervonbraun · « **Reply #6 on:** July 09, 2014, 03:20:17 pm »

Thanks, i havent been dealing with it very well. Im gonna live with this for the rest of my life, and thats a terrible feeling. I havent seen the doc yet, so i dont know how bad i am yet. But i kinda got these feelings like, i dont even want to fight it, just let it kill me, you know?

leatherman · « **Reply #7 on:** July 09, 2014, 04:36:43 pm »

Quote from: wernhervonbraun on July 09, 2014, 03:20:17 pm

i dont even want to fight it, just let it kill me, you know?

sometimes these days, you don't even need to "fight" it. With the newer improved meds, studies prove that HIV poz people will leave as long as anyone else. Rather than give up, you better make sure to get a good paying job and be saving towards retirement. You really are going to live that long so you better be prepared.

this is not 1990 anymore, and I say that thankfully and happily as someone who has been poz longer than 30 yrs and on meds for over 22 yrs.

People live with all sorts of problems and illnesses all the time. although I don't know you, I would imagine that like me you're happy to have 4 limbs, eyes, ears, and a digestive system that works, right?? You could have been in a car wreck, lost your legs, and be trying to live with that diagnosis. Or you could be 50 and just had a heart attack or stroke. Instead of any health problems that bad, you have been diagnosed with, albeit terminal disease, a disease that we have been treating - pretty successfully - for 25 yrs or so.

Now is not the time to give up. Now is the time to get pro-active about your health. Make sure to find out your hiv viral load and cd4 count. That'll let you know just how advanced your infection is and how much it may have impacted your immune system. A doctor will explain when you need to go onto meds, and what options are available. Don't give up now. "Fighting" your hiv is as simple as taking a pill every night at dinner and living your life how ever you want to.

emeraldize · « **Reply #8 on:** July 09, 2014, 06:34:36 pm »

What Mike aka Leatherman wrote is important for you to read. He's right --when it comes to the definition of 'fight ' it is not as it once was for most people.

Allow yourself the time to grieve as you are moving through a period of change, fear, anxiety, anger. Things will settle.

With the members and many posts on this site, you have an invaluable resource to access--now and along the continuum of your positive life.

YellowFever · « **Reply #9 on:** July 09, 2014, 07:54:46 pm »

So you're convinced you're HIV positive and you've not seen your doc? Moping around is not going to help. Go get your confirmatory test, i.e your Western Blot done and get your numbers (if confirmed). It's vital that you know your CD4 and VLs in order to deal with being HIV+.

HIV isn't cancer. It's not a matter of '50/50 chance of surviving'; no more 'say your last goodbye's. Just go see your doctor every 3 months and take your pills as prescribed by the doctor. That's all you need to live as long a life as any HIV- person!!

Jeff G · « **Reply #10 on:** July 09, 2014, 08:49:30 pm »

Welcome to the forum wernhervonbraun . What test did you take that came back positive for HIV ? . If you have not seen a doctor and had a test to confirm that you are indeed HIV positive then you need to do so yesterday, false positive HIV test do happen so please let us know what test you took and when do you plan on confirming it .

wernhervonbraun · « **Reply #11 on:** July 10, 2014, 03:50:28 pm »

I found out i was positive when i tryed to donate plasma, and got it confirmed with a swab test. Ive had blood drawn, and see the doc in a few days. Kinda curious how thats gonna go.

emeraldize · « **Reply #12 on:** July 11, 2014, 04:29:42 am »

Please keep us up to date on what you learn and how you are doing.

gamerboy · « **Reply #13 on:** July 11, 2014, 09:44:48 pm »

I was also recently diagnosed in April, its been a rough few months.. You're not alone!

wernhervonbraun · « **Reply #14 on:** July 16, 2014, 05:34:47 pm »

Saw the doc today, my cd4 count is 190 vl is 17000, they want to start me on meds. Is my cd4 count low enough to call it aids?

Jeff G · « **Reply #15 on:** July 16, 2014, 05:54:02 pm »

Your going to be OK ... you are already in care and the meds will take care of the rest so try not to get caught up on your lab numbers and worry too much over what will be all better in a few months time . I would think your doc put you on Bactrim to prevent PCP until your numbers improve ? .

zach · « **Reply #16 on:** July 16, 2014, 06:06:52 pm »

everything is gonna be ok

i think technically, yes, under 200 qualifies as an AIDS diagnosis, with or without an OI to go along. either way, don't worry, you need your head in this and that will worry will drain you. that may have implications in accessing care, but right now its just an arbitrary number that you DO NOT need to dweel on

right now, it really doesn't matter how low your numbers were. i mean it does, the lower your nadir count (your lowest count) the longer the ride. there may be long term repercussions to catching it so late. but the important thing, you have caught it, you are in treatment, you are going to be ok[/glow].

good luck, the next few months are important for you. hang on. you got this

wernhervonbraun · « **Reply #17 on:** July 16, 2014, 09:55:24 pm »

Apparantly ive had this some time. I dont know how i didnt notice something. How has my body been fighting off colds and what not if im this bad? I mean i get sick then get better like a normal person, i dont understand it.
I dont know about being okay, i cant beleive i have aids. Theres a great deal of emotional damage to go along with it, ill probably never be the same again. I feel like I am the virus now, this sucks.

Jeff G · « **Reply #18 on:** July 16, 2014, 10:09:04 pm »

Its a tough break for all of us that test positive, we all have that in common as we do the fact that we will get sick and die if we do not take our meds . Its nothing but tough but you can go on to lead a normal life .

I know its hard to get past the shock and you are not alone as you go through it but you can do this and go on to better and better things . Im not special so if I can do it, you can to, in time .

zach · « **Reply #19 on:** July 16, 2014, 10:14:34 pm »

then don't call it aids man, its all just labels. in a couple months, your cd4 will be above that marker and it'll be a moot point, symantics.

more than entirely possible. i've got bottomed out numbers before i show symptoms. please don't stress about the past. where you are now, and where you go from here, that is the only thing that is important. where you got it, when you got it, how you got it, none of that matters.

you will come back from this, believe that, it's got to be your primary goal for awhile, full time focus on getting better.

keep us utd on how things unfold with dr. you'll need to go ahead on go on meds, accept that. unless they are already running it as part of the labs you've drawn, you'll have a resistance profile done, i wouldn't sweat that too much, you're treatment naive and odds are your virus is wild. jeff is absolutely right, you will need prophylactic antibiotics to prevent pcp/mac/etc. you probably won't be on those more than a year with your numbers.

please communicate honestly with your doctor, take your meds, and stay in front of this thing. the emotional hit your reeling from, its not fun, and there are no easy answers. no, you are not exactly the same, but you'll grow from this.

do not despair, do not give up. you are human, and we all fall. get up and keep moving. no matter what.

tryingtostay · « **Reply #20 on:** July 16, 2014, 11:10:37 pm »

I found exercising and doing research helped me some and got me over my initial hump. Just taking a walk around the block did wonders for me! You. Are. Going. To. Be. Alright. Believe it!!!

Keep us posted, ok?

wernhervonbraun · « **Reply #21 on:** July 22, 2014, 06:41:50 pm »

Doc wants me on stribild

Dan0 · « **Reply #22 on:** July 22, 2014, 06:50:39 pm »

That's encouraging. You'll find a lot of us on here are on Stribild and - some - are switch overs from some other medication where there were some side effects or general issues with. This is a pretty good med! You may hear some stories of side effects and what not, but that is the exception - not the rule.

zach · « **Reply #23 on:** July 22, 2014, 08:33:13 pm »

one pill, once a day... no sweat! you got this man, you can totally handle it... proceed and be bold

screw hiv

mlc83 · « **Reply #24 on:** July 23, 2014, 01:16:12 am »

You are not alone! I also was diagnosed a month ago today! Going through the same roller coaster as you! I found a great deal of comfort in telling a couple of my close friends so i have someone to talk to regarding this. Hugz!

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Author Topic: just found out... (Read 8895 times)