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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 10:54:12 am

Title: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 10:54:12 am
I was browsing a dating website the other day from London and thought it was so funny that many of the guys I saw there included this demand (amongst many many others):

"BE DISEASE FREE"

I thought it was hysterical. Now how the hell will you know that for sure? And, most important of all, how the hell will **I** know that the guy is also disease free? Isn't it better and easier to just play it safe? It's weird because you don't see that demand on Brazilian profiles, guys just ask to play it safe and that's it...and here I was thinking that guys from London would have, let's say, better common sense.

Will a blood test be required before a possible date or fast-fuck? Should we go to the doctor before our date?

So hot.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Jeff G on August 28, 2012, 11:37:34 am
I saw a profile the other day and the profile pic was a guy looking up through a toilet seat inviting men to come and use the seat for him . He also was looking for disease free guys to poop on him along with no fats , fems , Asian or black guys . I'm never shocked by anything I see online anymore , just amused at the stupidity of it sometime .

   
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 12:10:36 pm
I saw a profile the other day and the profile pic was a guy looking up through a toilet seat inviting men to come and use the seat for him . He also was looking for disease free guys to poop on him along with no fats , fems , Asian or black guys . I'm never shocked by anything I see online anymore , just amused at the stupidity of it sometime .

 

LOL! What these guys don't realize is that...ok, so let's say I bring my last blood test which states I'm STD free...that test is from May. Who's to say I didn't contract anything since my last blood test?

I think most of the time they just want to listen "Yeah, I'm disease free", even if they know you might be lying.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Jeff G on August 28, 2012, 12:30:21 pm
What you are reading in these cruising for sex ads is people who haven't come to terms with the concept of what safe sex is and personal responsibility to make it so .

Some people still live in a world where they choose to believe other people should shoulder the responsibility for they're sexual health instead of doing what it takes to remain HIV negative .

Just look at all the threads here in this forum written by HIV poz people wanting to know how many loads they can take without getting a scorching case of the mythical super infection or wanting to test they're own jizz to see how infectious it is before they bestow it on the general population . Rarely do you see any mention of syphilis , chlamydia or hepatitis when you read all these whats the least I can get by with safe sex wise threads .   
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 12:51:41 pm
What you are reading in these cruising for sex ads is people who haven't come to terms with the concept of what safe sex is and personal responsibility to make it so .

Some people still live in a world where they choose to believe other people should shoulder the responsibility for they're sexual health instead of doing what it takes to remain HIV negative .

Just look at all the threads here in this forum written by HIV poz people wanting to know how many loads they can take without getting a scorching case of the mythical super infection or wanting to test they're own jizz to see how infectious it is before they bestow it on the general population . Rarely do you see any mention of syphilis , chlamydia or hepatitis when you read all these whats the least I can get by with safe sex wise threads .   

Precisely. And that's exactly why the "trust nobody" rule applies for not only online dating but any kind of dating.

I can't risk getting another STD so there's no way in hell I will have bareback sex with some guy I just met, it doesn't matter how many blood tests he shows me.

Clusterfuck of stupidity.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: jkinatl2 on August 28, 2012, 12:54:48 pm
IMHO the DDF-UB2 line is an indicator of stunted emotional growth, coupled with an impotent rage at being considered a minority class.

Here in my little corner of the USA, I see it most often online from white guys guys 30-50.

I would love to see a study done on the demographics, especially considering most of the people who ask for DDF-UB2 saw at least SOME, if not most, of the awful parts of the pandemic in developed countries. The cognitive dissonance and refusal to accept personal responsibility is intriguing. I would consider conducting a study along those lines, if only I think for a second I could avoid smacking them, each and every one.

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 01:00:34 pm
IMHO the DDF-UB2 line is an indicator of stunted emotional growth, coupled with an impotent rage at being considered a minority class.

Here in my little corner of the USA, I see it most often online from white guys guys 30-50.

I would love to see a study done on the demographics, especially considering most of the people who ask for DDF-UB2 saw at least SOME, if not most, of the awful parts of the pandemic in developed countries. The cognitive dissonance and refusal to accept personal responsibility is intriguing. I would consider conducting a study along those lines, if only I think for a second I could avoid smacking them, each and every one.

IMO:

a) Those guys are probably constantly scared of getting infected because they fuck a lot of different guys online, even if they do use condoms. We all know how some people are suspicious of condoms. So it's almost like an attempt to confort themselves.

b) And precisely because they fuck a lot, they want to show YOU that "Hey, even if I do fuck a lot I'm disease free because i specify on my profile that I only want disease free guys. You can trust me".
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 28, 2012, 01:02:00 pm
I think we should debate about this. (http://www.straightacting.com/phpbb3/viewforum.php?f=1)

After all, there are threads about AIDS and barebacking there.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 01:06:34 pm
I think we should debate about this. (http://www.straightacting.com/phpbb3/viewforum.php?f=1)

After all, there are threads about AIDS and barebacking there.

I loved these one:

"Any tips for showing your gayness?"

"How straight/gay does my voice sound?"

Jesus fuckin Christ lol.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 01:12:23 pm
I think we should debate about this. (http://www.straightacting.com/phpbb3/viewforum.php?f=1)

After all, there are threads about AIDS and barebacking there.

Start a thread there then and let the games begin.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Jeff G on August 28, 2012, 01:15:13 pm
The amount of information and resources devoted to enlightening and enticing people to have safe sex and take responsibility are staggering .

I say you can lead a whore to water but ya cant make em douche .     
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 01:20:11 pm
The amount of information and resources devoted to enlightening and enticing people to have safe sex and take responsibility are staggering .

I say you can lead a whore to water but ya cant make em douche .     

Sometimes I cut people some slack...putting a latex cap on your dick is far from normal and sex is not a rational thing at all. So enticing people to have safe sex will always be a struggle, even 100 years from now.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 28, 2012, 01:24:42 pm
Start a thread there then and let the games begin.

I actually was adding on another example to what JK already pointed out; the need for some people to set up divisive categories because they have an in-bred hatred and inability to being able to cope with what they are, especially as members of a certain minority class which many people look down on for whatever reason.

Straight-looking and straight-acting yet some will suck a dick quicker than a whore turning a $5 trick  ::)
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: thunter34 on August 28, 2012, 01:26:38 pm
DDF - UB2  is a great way to lull the gullible into not even thinking or asking about condoms during a hookup.

If one were so inclined.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 01:29:02 pm
DDF - UB2  is a great way to lull the gullible into not even thinking or asking about condoms during a hookup.

If one were so inclined.

I actually talked to one of those guys just to see how it would go.

He: "Are you disease free?"

Me: "Last time I checked yeah, I was. But I'm not into bareback at all"

He: "Cool, I'm disease free also and I do use condoms"

And that's all it took. Just my word for it, online. Don't plan to meet him, just wanted to see his response.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: newt on August 28, 2012, 02:40:27 pm
It is possible to wear rose tinted spectacles on your dick - matt
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: wolfter on August 28, 2012, 02:58:33 pm
Simply respond that you have a 10" uncut monster, DDF won't matter. :o
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 28, 2012, 03:08:17 pm
It's weird because you don't see that demand on Brazilian profiles, guys just ask to play it safe and that's it...and here I was thinking that guys from London would have, let's say, better common sense.


Honey you need to get out more.  Then again, maybe not, if this dire state of affairs is going to bring you down.  :o

Disease Free is so common in the USA and all over Europe.  Online just this weekend a couple in Geneva invited me to come over to bb the twink.  I disclosed and told them no thanks in one message. The twink was the one writing. He said the usual, "we don't want to take that risk".  I wrote back saying I already said no, and the blah blah blah info, nice enough, that in fact they put themselves at risk, and put others at risk, every time they barebacked with everyone involved assuming they were still "disease free".   Well I couldn't resist telling him too that HIV+ guys who know, and are undetectable, aren't HIV spreaders.

Typical cognitive dissonance response - confusion, then extreme anger at me for just about everything wrong in the world.   

And then my typical response (to myself) -- Why the f*ck did I waste my time trying to educate a bit. 

Just remember - people can be very stupid, gays in HEAT are no exception, and stupid people can be incredibly stubborn. 

And people in denial are very hard nuts to crack.

"They are just getting the sex they want."   
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 28, 2012, 03:10:02 pm
Simply respond that you have a 10" uncut monster, DDF won't matter. :o

Yeah that might be the best solution for such matters!
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Theyer on August 28, 2012, 03:50:59 pm
IMHO the DDF-UB2 line is an indicator of stunted emotional growth, coupled with an impotent rage at being considered a minority class.

Here in my little corner of the USA, I see it most often online from white guys guys 30-50.

I would love to see a study done on the demographics, especially considering most of the people who ask for DDF-UB2 saw at least SOME, if not most, of the awful parts of the pandemic in developed countries. The cognitive dissonance and refusal to accept personal responsibility is intriguing. I would consider conducting a study along those lines, if only I think for a second I could avoid smacking them, each and every one.

Excellent comments, thank you.

I have long dreamed off a Reality show that accepted the offer, (I have now incorporated the 10 in dick idea ) arrived with very hot guy and proceeded to have safe sex discussion , pointing out the many errors off there ways.
This could escalate by degrees to a megaphone outside slammed door if so required .

The dumb thing is it still makes me so mad.
m
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Dr.Strangelove on August 28, 2012, 04:00:18 pm
In the country in Latin America where I currently live I have never seen anyone writing in their profile anything equivalent to DDF UB2. And I have read a lot of profiles on different websites...
Some guys explicitly state that they only want to play it safe but that's it.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Buckmark on August 28, 2012, 04:11:54 pm
I think we should debate about this. (http://www.straightacting.com/phpbb3/viewforum.php?f=1)

After all, there are threads about AIDS and barebacking there.

Geez, I've never heard of or visited this straightacting.com web site before, but from a quick look, the self-loathing there is rampant.  Dividing themselves into a separate category of "straight acting" is just a coping mechanism to make themselves feel like they are not like the rest of us gays who swish and lisp constantly.   ::)

It's a similar division for the DDF UB2 crowd.  It's another misguided coping mechanism that helps delude themselves into thinking they are not like those other AIDS-infected faggots.  They also think it absolves them of any need for personal responsibility, and have the worry-free sex life to which they feel so entitled.  Talk about deluded!

While not all of these "DDF UB2" folks are barebacking, many are.  I fully realize that the use of condoms is hardly natural, requires constant messages to reinforc, and for many just interferes with sex too much.  So if you're going to bareback, why not just be honest about it and accept the risk you are taking, rather hide behind "DDF UB2"?   That would require a certain level of maturity and self-acceptance that I don't find very much these days.

Regards,

Henry
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: WillyWump on August 28, 2012, 05:25:07 pm
I think we should debate about this. (http://www.straightacting.com/phpbb3/viewforum.php?f=1)

After all, there are threads about AIDS and barebacking there.

Wow. Im amazed at the shit they discuss over there. Poor souls. Had no clue people were starting to align themselves this way in such an organized fashion.

-WIll
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Jeff G on August 28, 2012, 05:25:58 pm
Parents shouldn't name they're boys Mary if they want them to grow up and be all straight acting and stuff .

More pearls of wisdom from Jeff . 
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: jkinatl2 on August 28, 2012, 06:40:55 pm
It is possible to wear rose tinted spectacles on your dick - matt

That describes a chancre perfectly ;)

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: jkinatl2 on August 28, 2012, 06:42:24 pm
Just remember - people can be very stupid, gays in HEAT are no exception, and stupid people can be incredibly stubborn. 



In heat, I find, often = methed out.

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 07:02:38 pm
In the country in Latin America where I currently live I have never seen anyone writing in their profile anything equivalent to DDF UB2. And I have read a lot of profiles on different websites...
Some guys explicitly state that they only want to play it safe but that's it.

I know! That's what am I saying, why is that? Funny, education and literacy levels in European countries are way better than in Latin American countries...so one would assume that people there are more well-informed on these matters and, I don't know...less stupid!

Although, on a lot of Brazilian profiles you see other dumb stuff like people putting pictures of their cocks and asses and then writing a text next to them with a poem or lyrics and saying how they really want to find true love. LOLZ
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 07:08:42 pm
Disease Free is so common in the USA and all over Europe.  Online just this weekend a couple in Geneva invited me to come over to bb the twink.  I disclosed and told them no thanks in one message. The twink was the one writing. He said the usual, "we don't want to take that risk".  I wrote back saying I already said no, and the blah blah blah info, nice enough, that in fact they put themselves at risk, and put others at risk, every time they barebacked with everyone involved assuming they were still "disease free".   Well I couldn't resist telling him too that HIV+ guys who know, and are undetectable, aren't HIV spreaders.

Would they require some sort of proof that you were disease free? Last test? Or would they take your word for it? If that's the case, then maybe they could be the ones with some disease as well.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 28, 2012, 07:45:44 pm
Would they require some sort of proof that you were disease free? Last test? Or would they take your word for it? If that's the case, then maybe they could be the ones with some disease as well.

Rockin, you have to realize that Disease Free to most faggots is coded language for not being pozzed up.  Like many have already said on this thread, none of them ever think of the other STDs one can get, other than aids.

You'd be surprised that there are people looking to be fucked bareback in this day and age that will post that they are looking to be bred (meaning they are looking to take raw loads up the ass), but will also post that they are DDF in the same sentence.

Wow. Im amazed at the shit they discuss over there. Poor souls. Had no clue people were starting to align themselves this way in such an organized fashion.

-WIll

Amazing, ain't it?  Henry hit it right on the head:

Geez, I've never heard of or visited this straightacting.com web site before, but from a quick look, the self-loathing there is rampant.  Dividing themselves into a separate category of "straight acting" is just a coping mechanism to make themselves feel like they are not like the rest of us gays who swish and lisp constantly.   ::)

It's a similar division for the DDF UB2 crowd.  It's another misguided coping mechanism that helps delude themselves into thinking they are not like those other AIDS-infected faggots.  They also think it absolves them of any need for personal responsibility, and have the worry-free sex life to which they feel so entitled.  Talk about deluded!

While not all of these "DDF UB2" folks are barebacking, many are.  I fully realize that the use of condoms is hardly natural, requires constant messages to reinforc, and for many just interferes with sex too much.  So if you're going to bareback, why not just be honest about it and accept the risk you are taking, rather hide behind "DDF UB2"?   That would require a certain level of maturity and self-acceptance that I don't find very much these days.

Regards,

Henry

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 28, 2012, 08:07:38 pm
Would they require some sort of proof that you were disease free? Last test? Or would they take your word for it? If that's the case, then maybe they could be the ones with some disease as well.

Yes that is the point I explained to this young man and of course it blew his gaskets.

It is what it is.  In the grand scheme, it just shows that every culture and every nation has its advantages and disadvantages. 
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Dr.Strangelove on August 28, 2012, 09:28:19 pm
In the grand scheme, it just shows that every culture and every nation has its advantages and disadvantages.

I very much agree. You might find lines like "DDF UB2" in profiles in many countries but still, each culture deals somewhat different with that topic.
(Likewise, there was a recent article that found that blacks in the US less frequently address the topic HIV before engaging in sex. But at the same time they use condoms more consistently.)
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: drewm on August 28, 2012, 10:10:41 pm
I like the posts that say:

POZ/POZ friendly. Please know your status and if you want to cum in me, please be UD and on meds. Thank you!
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: elf on August 28, 2012, 11:03:42 pm
''Be disease-free'' is still better than ''be clean''  :o

When I had a Manhunt account, I had: HIV ''ask me'' on my profile,
and no one has ever asked me about my status. But, I chatted mostly with Italians, Spanish, Brazilians and Argentines (I have never hooked up with any of them, and I closed my account 3 months ago)...I haven't had sex for 4 years now (well ever since my diagnosis) because I think I'm not ready...maybe in a year or two, who knows... I would be kinda scared to have sex with people in my country although there are no disclosing laws (if I disclose, they'll say: no way, and will spread ''news'' all across the country, only 4 million people here, and most M2M know each other), and I'm not a kind of guy who travels for sex (although Hungary is just 2 hours by car, and it has one of the hottest European guys  :D)...

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 11:26:23 pm
''Be disease-free'' is still better than ''be clean''  :o

When I had a Manhunt account, I had: HIV ''ask me'' on my profile,
and no one has ever asked me about my status. But, I chatted mostly with Italians, Spanish, Brazilians and Argentines (I have never hooked up with any of them, and I closed my account 3 months ago)...I haven't had sex for 4 years now (well ever since my diagnosis) because I think I'm not ready...maybe in a year or two, who knows... I would be kinda scared to have sex with people in my country although there are no disclosing laws (if I disclose, they'll say: no way, and will spread ''news'' all across the country, only 4 million people here, and most M2M know each other), and I'm not a kind of guy who travels for sex (although Hungary is just 2 hours by car, and it has one of the hottest European guys  :D)...

Elf man, how do you do it? I can't go a month without sex without going bananas. Why do you feel you're not ready?

PS: I do think is VERY worthy to have a 2 hour trip to Hungary. 
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 28, 2012, 11:28:30 pm
Rockin, you have to realize that Disease Free to most faggots is coded language for not being pozzed up.  Like many have already said on this thread, none of them ever think of the other STDs one can get, other than aids.

You'd be surprised that there are people looking to be fucked bareback in this day and age that will post that they are looking to be bred (meaning they are looking to take raw loads up the ass), but will also post that they are DDF in the same sentence.

But that's the thing: the guys are asking for disease free men but they are willing to wear a condom. That's the mind-boggling aspect of this...maybe they like to swallow and are afraid of it? Not sure. The whole thing is just so stupid.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: jkinatl2 on August 28, 2012, 11:53:05 pm
Hell, I waited three months after diagnosis.

Dry spells suck. Or they don't, which is the root (!) of the problem.

I wish people in general would chill the hell out about sex and it's morality. If a person has a low sex drive naturally, then I totally get that. But to subvert your sex drive due to a virus? That's nuts. Hehe. Nuts.

My own views on sex are complicated, obviously.



Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Ann on August 29, 2012, 04:23:22 am
It is possible to wear rose tinted spectacles on your dick - matt

Where can I get a pair to fit my vajayjay?

That describes a chancre perfectly ;)


Naw, I think it would look more like one of those joke pairs of glasses with a big fake nose and sometimes a mustache as well. Only instead of a nose, you'd have rose lenses and a (your own) dick.  I want a pair that will sit on my bush. ;D

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 29, 2012, 01:58:11 pm
I bet at least half of those that say be disease free are poz and just using reverse psychology, basically lies and playing guys at their own games to get guys. 
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 29, 2012, 06:31:15 pm
I bet at least half of those that say be disease free are poz and just using reverse psychology, basically lies and playing guys at their own games to get guys.

You are saying, 50% of the people saying DDF u b 2 are in fact positive, know it, and lying?  Sweetie, that sounds like the AIDS MONSTERS stereotype.  I don't buy it.  But I do agree some are probably positive and don't now it yet! 
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: WillyWump on August 29, 2012, 06:43:04 pm
I want a pair that will sit on my bush. ;D

For some strange reason I think I might want to see this ^

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: jkinatl2 on August 29, 2012, 06:57:16 pm
For some strange reason I think I might want to see this ^



The reason, it is not strange.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: elf on August 29, 2012, 07:42:54 pm
As for the window period:
1) people want it to be 0, so they can know right after the intercourse they've been infected, but at the same time
2) they want to try PEP

and these 2 are exclusive one of another,,,you test positive when HIV is already infiltrated in your body...you take PEP while you're still negative on all tests (in the 1st 48 hours), to keep negative..

So, ''be disease free'' can be tricky...
90% cases of HIV transmission occurs in people who believe they're ''disease free''.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Ann on August 30, 2012, 03:09:57 am

and these 2 are exclusive one of another,,,you test positive when HIV is already infiltrated in your body...you take PEP while you're still negative on all tests (in the 1st 48 hours), to keep negative..


Not quite.

You test positive when your body has created antibodies, which takes between two and four weeks in most cases.

You take PEP to stop hiv in its tracks before it can replicate out of control due (in part) to the lack of antibodies. Out of control replication is a feature of primary infection, hence the sky-high viral load most newly infected people have.

If you can stop hiv replication before it becomes entrenched in any reservoirs, then you stand a good chance of testing hiv negative once you've completed the 28 day PEP regimen. This is why PEP must be started as soon as possible, and no later than 72 hours. Within 24 is best.

PEP extends the three month window period for a conclusive negative result by 28 days, so essentially the window period is four months.

So guys, any ideas how to get the message out that serosorting only works for us pozzies?
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 30, 2012, 10:33:08 am
So guys, any ideas how to get the message out that serosorting only works for us pozzies?

Well the message does not work if delivered during the heat of the cruising.

Has to be when the heat is off.  When and where will the people who need the message and the people who can deliver it meet in a conducive situation? 

I know gay guys, who believe themselves to be still HIV- and have their heads in the sand out of fear or sheer stubborn insistence they have the right to the unsafe sex they want, are not en easy audience. 
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Miss Philicia on August 30, 2012, 12:16:21 pm
I was cruised strenuously on Locust Street yesterday and I didn't succumb to the heat.

The funniest part was that I later ran into him at my HIV pharmacy -- NO DISCLOSURE NECESSARY!
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 30, 2012, 01:38:04 pm
I was cruised strenuously on Locust Street yesterday and I didn't succumb to the heat.

The funniest part was that I later ran into him at my HIV pharmacy -- NO DISCLOSURE NECESSARY!

Well that saves a lot of trouble doesn't it? It's kind of a romantic tale..."We met at our local HIV clinic, love at first sight"
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 30, 2012, 02:00:21 pm
I am not sure if there are hoards and hoards of (supposedly HIV-) gay men who fit the category of DDF U B 2 for the purposes of serosorting for barebacking.  I mean they exist.  But it seems like a smaller, fetish category on the meat market.
 
I believe there are hoards of HIV- gay men (or who assume they are) who say DDF U B 2  and ALSO have safe sex. They just don't want to have any sex with HIV+ guys, period.   Probably some of them hope to find an HIV- boyfriend, and then have unsafe sex in the couple...   That's another can of worms of course.

DDF U B 2 and safe sex, and just don't want to screw with HIV+ guys, who cares. I mean people have the right to the partners they want, right?   

I was never that guy, having dated HIV+ guys from the 80's on, and being HIV-.  I never had those restrictions.  But tons of guys do.  And a lot of guys in this forum cop to being the same when they were HIV-.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: spacebarsux on August 30, 2012, 02:42:59 pm
I very much agree. You might find lines like "DDF UB2" in profiles in many countries but still, each culture deals somewhat different with that topic.


Yeah, speaking of cultural difference- guess what I've seen on gay hookup sites in my part of the world: "Please be clean. I have a wife."  ::)

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: GSOgymrat on August 30, 2012, 02:46:45 pm
Forgive me if this article has already be posted. I thought it was kind of interesting.

http://gawker.com/5935651/please-dont-infect-me-im-sorry
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 30, 2012, 06:08:13 pm
DDF U B 2 and safe sex, and just don't want to screw with HIV+ guys, who cares. I mean people have the right to the partners they want, right?   

Sure, we all have a right to be picky. The stupidity of it all, however, is that some guys will just take your word for it. I think they assume HIV+ will be skinny and with rashes all over their bodies. If you look healthy and say "No, I'm negative just like you", he'll go "Ok, let's do it".
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: jkinatl2 on August 30, 2012, 06:20:15 pm
Sure, we all have a right to be picky. The stupidity of it all, however, is that some guys will just take your word for it. I think they assume HIV+ will be skinny and with rashes all over their bodies. If you look healthy and say "No, I'm negative just like you", he'll go "Ok, let's do it".

I was thoroughly chastised a few years ago by someone I met online - for disclosing. He told me I looked perfectly fine and that as "long as I can pass" I shouldn't put it out there.

Not sure whether the guy chastising me was positive or negative.

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 30, 2012, 06:28:27 pm
Sure, we all have a right to be picky. The stupidity of it all, however, is that some guys will just take your word for it. I think they assume HIV+ will be skinny and with rashes all over their bodies. If you look healthy and say "No, I'm negative just like you", he'll go "Ok, let's do it".

Well your logic in this sentence is that some HIV+ people lie when asked this question. 

But, my point in saying my sentence you quote, is that plenty of  HIV- guys want to screw SAFESEX with HIV- negative guys. 

We agree however that the risk is when HIV- guys serosort for the purpose of barebacking and the chance is someone is no longer HIV-, but doesn't know it. 

Please be careful of turning these discussions around into creating that old stereotype of the AIDS MONSTER AIDS SPREADER.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Jeff G on August 30, 2012, 06:30:16 pm
I was thoroughly chastised a few years ago by someone I met online - for disclosing. He told me I looked perfectly fine and that as "long as I can pass" I shouldn't put it out there.

Not sure whether the guy chastising me was positive or negative.

That happened to me once in a bar ... While I was disclosing a guy actually stopped me and told me he always has safe sex but now that I told him I was poz I had ruined it for him because he didn't need to know it . I was so turned off by his attitude I couldn't have cared less .
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 30, 2012, 06:32:54 pm
Forgive me if this article has already be posted. I thought it was kind of interesting.

http://gawker.com/5935651/please-dont-infect-me-im-sorry

I never read that...very interesting article. Maybe you should create a thread about it, it's highly controversial.

And yet, even more interesting, it leads to this article, which relates to another tread from Living With...

Oral Panic: CDC Says Teens Think Oral Sex is Safe, Getting Lots of STDs as a Result
http://gawker.com/5935323/oral-panic-cdc-says-teens-think-oral-sex-is-safe-getting-lots-of-stds-as-a-result (http://gawker.com/5935323/oral-panic-cdc-says-teens-think-oral-sex-is-safe-getting-lots-of-stds-as-a-result)
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 30, 2012, 06:39:30 pm
Well your logic in this sentence is that some HIV+ people lie when asked this question. 

But, my point in saying my sentence you quote, is that plenty of  HIV- guys want to screw SAFESEX with HIV- negative guys. 

We agree however that the risk is when HIV- guys serosort for the purpose of barebacking and the chance is someone is no longer HIV-, but doesn't know it. 

Please be careful of turning these discussions around into creating that old stereotype of the AIDS MONSTER AIDS SPREADER.

I know Mecch but trust me...back when I was negative no one ever asked me for a blood test. It's not even a case of someone lying, is a case of someone who might not know. Some friends of mine say "I get tested every six months" and I always think that's bullshit...some might actually do this but not the majority...gettin tested is such a nightmare, even if you are sure you have been playing it safe. So a lot of people don't even bother and remain in oblivion until they come down with pneumonia.

So the guy say "No, I'm negative" and he might not know his status. I just think it's a stupid demand to put out there for online cruising because no one is asking any proof of it and you cannot trust someone you met online for sex. That's what's stupid.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: mecch on August 30, 2012, 06:43:17 pm
Its a stupid criteria for serosorting for the purposes of bareback sex with new people who you know nothing about, including who and how they screwed 3 weeks ago!

I thought you were saying in your one scenario that the HIV+ person "lies".  I must have misunderstood.

Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 30, 2012, 06:54:24 pm
Its a stupid criteria for serosorting for the purposes of bareback sex with new people who you know nothing about, including who and how they screwed 3 weeks ago!

I thought you were saying in your one scenario that the HIV+ person "lies".  I must have misunderstood.

Not necessarily for bareback sex. They still want to have safe sex. As I said earlier, maybe their biggest scare is not anal sex (as they will use condoms) but oral sex. Who knows? You try to apply logic into it and you'll get frustrated.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: GSOgymrat on August 30, 2012, 11:53:10 pm
You try to apply logic into it and you'll get frustrated.

I think the reasoning is fairly uncomplicated: people don't want to have sex with people who know they have a disease if they can help it. Their strategies are unsophisticated and flawed but their motivation is pretty simple and primal: have sex and avoid disease. Humans have evolved to avoid things that might make them sick and rationality only goes so far with most people. You can tell them you are healthy, you can tell them they are not going to be infected, you can cite studies and statistics but often there is still an aversion. For example, if you thoroughly cleaned a toilet, filled it with bottled water, dropped a slice of bacon into the water and then told someone to eat it many people wouldn't even though rationally there is no contamination. This is what we are dealing with. This aversion becomes markedly worse if you appear ill, such as having lipoatrophy, even though the risk of infection may be less than someone who appears to be in good health but actually has a high viral load because they are newly infected. I acknowledge that rejection sucks, that people online can be horribly rude and insensitive and that ignorance is frustrating but I find it helps to put people's fears into context and recognize that fears, particularly regarding disease and contamination, are not always rational.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: tednlou2 on August 31, 2012, 01:37:51 am
I go on a certain hook up site now and then.  Not very often--honestly.  I suppose I go for the pics, but also fantasy.  Anyway, I put in my profile how silly the "DDF-UB2" and last test date was to me.  I'm talking especially about guys wanting to bareback. 

Since I'm not hooking up, I did not change my profile to say poz.  But, many assumed I was poz, because I said I found that way of thinking silly.  I found that interesting that so many would assume I'm poz, just because I said it was silly to think you're safe to bareback as long as the guy says they are safe.  And, it wasn't just guys who claim to be neg.  I've had poz guys message me, saying they like what I wrote and asked how long I've been poz. 

 
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 31, 2012, 03:25:55 pm
I think the reasoning is fairly uncomplicated: people don't want to have sex with people who know they have a disease if they can help it. Their strategies are unsophisticated and flawed but their motivation is pretty simple and primal: have sex and avoid disease. Humans have evolved to avoid things that might make them sick and rationality only goes so far with most people. You can tell them you are healthy, you can tell them they are not going to be infected, you can cite studies and statistics but often there is still an aversion. For example, if you thoroughly cleaned a toilet, filled it with bottled water, dropped a slice of bacon into the water and then told someone to eat it many people wouldn't even though rationally there is no contamination. This is what we are dealing with. This aversion becomes markedly worse if you appear ill, such as having lipoatrophy, even though the risk of infection may be less than someone who appears to be in good health but actually has a high viral load because they are newly infected. I acknowledge that rejection sucks, that people online can be horribly rude and insensitive and that ignorance is frustrating but I find it helps to put people's fears into context and recognize that fears, particularly regarding disease and contamination, are not always rational.

I understand the fear completely, I was just making fun of someone feeling "at ease" to have sex just because the other said "No, i'm disease free" without showing any proof. 

Maybe that truly is an American or European thing, in Brazil no one asks you if you are "disease free" before having sex. We just pick a condom and that's it.
Title: Re: The "Be Disease Free" demand
Post by: Rockin on August 31, 2012, 03:28:18 pm
I found that interesting that so many would assume I'm poz, just because I said it was silly to think you're safe to bareback as long as the guy says they are safe.  And, it wasn't just guys who claim to be neg.  I've had poz guys message me, saying they like what I wrote and asked how long I've been poz. 

 

Stupid people are the vast majority of this world, y'know? We are always bumping into them. And I say this with authority because I never acted liked this when I was negative.