Author Topic: Unprotected anal with confirmed HIV partner. Please help! (Read 6084 times)

Worrysomelo · « **on:** September 12, 2016, 06:14:17 pm »

Hello, I have lurked through all the topics in this section reading about my incident.
Sat night I wanted to experiment topping and hooked up with someone. This person assured me he was neg. That night I came twice outside from masturbating. Sex was not rough and he was clean down there. He used some sort of douche for cleaningness.

Since I do not have much experience topping Its hard for me to keep an erection and I kept losing my erection frequently (I dont know if this helps to assess the risk). He told me he got tested in feb and it came back negative because he got very sick and went to the hospital and the Dr did an hiv test on him and it came back neg- according to him.

Later monday night I had sex with this person again without protection. I was the insertive partner again and sex was similar to sat night.

I tested a week before all this neg along with other stds. I asked this person to do a test and Wed he called me and told me it came back positive. I rushed to the hospital and the infection specialist put me on Atripla wed night. I know the timeframe according to the guidelines in this case only cover the monday night exposure. I am well aware of that. I have had many side effects from the medication, but I am committed to finish the bottle.

I do not know his viral load yet. This is killing me and I have fallen into depression. I do not know what to do.. If I test poz I have slowly come to maybe accept my future with it but I am so scared and I do not want to tell anyone.

The infection specialist told me to do a PROVIRAL DNA test and I did 15 days after exposure, he told me that Pep affects the viral load but this test and detect the dna in the blood regardless of the quantity. I also did a Qualitative RNA which detects the RNA of the virus in the blood (not the quantity) which I will get in two days.

What are my chances? I am so scared of my future with the virus. I know I can live a long healthy live but the tabboo ans stigma around it will affect me on so many levels. I know I sound selfish... But I need input from experts... I am so scared. I havent talked to aby of my friends and have basically stopped my life because of this....

Sorry for the long post or any grammatical errors.. Im on mobile.

Thanks in advance.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #1 on:** September 12, 2016, 06:27:36 pm »

Hi

Look I will keep the preaching short on this one, lesson from this is to practice safer sex so going forward keep in mind that your partners HIV test results are simply not important. Even if they tested today all it means is they were negative 13+ weeks ago, not much good to you. Instead you should focus on knowing your own HIV status and practice only safer sex.

The situation you are in is not unique, you engaged in unprotected intercourse with someone of unknown status, in other words rolling the dice. Post this they turned out to be HIV Positive.

You started PEP so finish the course and test post finishing PEP, the guidelines are to test at 6 weeks and then at 13 weeks post finishing to confirm the result.
You can read about testing here:HIV Testing

Some tests may detected sooner, however a negative antibody result at 13 weeks post incident or in this case post PEP is a conclusive result. RNA testing is nice but not recommended for routine screening or as stand-alone screening for a number of reasons so all I can say is test as per the guidelines above and any negative result you have had so far is a reassuring sign.

What are you chances ?

Well nobody can put a number on your own personal chance, statistics can't be used that way, however to be honest I suspect you will be fine, yes testing is needed to confirm this but look you had single exposure event before the PEP and one covered by the PEP, test and follow up to confirm the results. Learn the lesson from this scare to start practicing safer sex, a good place to start is condoms and lube.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions. As you are sexually active, it is highly recommended that you get a full sexual health check-up / screening at least annually including but not limited to hiv testing.

Remember that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's. So please do get fully tested regularly for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs. Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Finally use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, to avoid sexually transmitted hiv infection.

Kind regards

Jim

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As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #2 on:** September 12, 2016, 06:42:19 pm »

Jim. Thanks so much for your kind reply.

The specialist told me that the proviral could be used as quite conclusive and he also told me that I have a 40% infected 60% not - chance in a case like this.

I feel so lonely..and depressed...

Jim Allen · « **Reply #3 on:** September 12, 2016, 06:50:33 pm »

I normally don't outright comment on others as its unfair but if your Doc said that well he is just full of crap and scaremongering to be honest.

I would ask him to back the number up, but instead I probably would not waste my time and get a different doc if it was me.

Jim

Jim Allen · « **Reply #4 on:** September 12, 2016, 06:54:54 pm »

Type of exposure Estimated risk of HIV transmission per exposure from a known HIV-positive individual not on ART

Receptive anal intercourse 1 in 90
Receptive anal intercourse with ejaculation 1 in 65
Receptive anal intercourse no ejaculation 1 in 170

Insertive anal intercourse 1 in 666
Insertive anal intercourse not circumcised 1 in 161
Insertive anal intercourse and circumcised 1 in 909

The above is EU now it will vary per region but your doc is way off the mark with his 60% risk and he needs to do a bit of reading and using up-to-date guidelines and stop scaremongering patients. Yes, you should and deserve a kick in the hole to be honest for having unprotected intercourse. However no you should not be made to be this scared and stressed as you are now over something that has happened.

Just learn from the mistake, Finish the PEP , stop worrying and test post finishing the PEP at 6 and 13 weeks and than move on and please start using condoms. Some people do get infected from just 1 exposure, it does happen so don't risk it going forward.

Jim

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #5 on:** September 12, 2016, 08:10:50 pm »

Thanks for taking the time Jim.

In your experience, do you know of cases like mine where they get infected with one exposure?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #6 on:** September 12, 2016, 08:32:09 pm »

You're welcome.

So I would be lying if I said no as a few members here have claimed to have had only 1 exposure and been infected.

I suspect you will be fine, you basically had a single exposure incident I would have better odds on the lotto tonight.

Look if 1000 people jumped up and down a 1000 times each some will never fall over and I am sure 1 of them would fall over on the first attempt. Using statistics and trying to calculate odds, to understand personal risk are really poor tools and anecdotal stories are just that, stories.

Trust me, on this one you had a risk, not as high as 40-60% but it was a risk so don't risk it again. Finish the PEP and test as per guidelines and than move on in your life. In the meantime focus on something else, as stressing about it will not change the outcome of what has happened, it will just stress you further.

As for Living with HIV, what can I tell you its pretty normal. I pop a pill a day and move on in life. I have a wonderful girlfriend who for some reason loves me and I have two children and a career. I travel for work as well and I get to see the world and like most people I pay my bills, worry about my car breaking down and plan for the future and that includes retirement. HIV changes nothing in my life, so if you did happen to be one of the unlucky guys and you are infected with HIV it is not the end of the world, life goes on.

That all said it is a life long manageable but incurable medical condition and should be avoided !

Jim

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #7 on:** September 20, 2016, 09:02:33 pm »

Hello,

I am back again.

In wednesday 14th I got my STD test results back and I tested Neg in all of them. I did this test 11 days after exposure, but under PEP as adviced by my doctor.

I continued feeding my fears and anxiety with reading A LOT and decided to see another infection specialist. This other Dr. told me what I knew from reading all over the internet and said:

1. I shouldnt have done the Qualitative RNA TMA under PEP.
2. He also told me to wait until I finish my PEP to count from the finish day to 10 days to get another Qualitative RNA since I am paranoid.
3. He told me since I was the insertive partner and circumsiced, it is very likely I am not infected.

I honestly do not know what to do. I am dying on the inside feeding my fears and I cannot function on my daily tasks bc this is in my head 24/7. I feel like I am going to be the one unlucky guy who gets infected in one exposure....this is killing me.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #8 on:** September 20, 2016, 09:16:06 pm »

Hi

Like I said before I don't comment on what others say as a rule. I made an exception to comment that in my personal view your first doctor was just full of crap and scaremongering

There is nothing new for me to comment on, like I said before finish the PEP and test as per guidelines post finishing PEP (6 & 13 weeks) and than move on in your life. In the meantime focus on something else, as stressing about it will not change the outcome of what has happened, it will just stress you further.

Some tests may detected sooner, however a negative antibody result at 13 weeks post incident or in this case post PEP is a conclusive result. RNA testing is nice but not recommended for routine screening or as stand-alone screening for a number of reasons so all I can say is test as per the guidelines above and any negative result you have had so far is a reassuring sign.

To be honest I suspect you will be fine, yes testing is needed to confirm this but look you had single exposure event before the PEP and one covered by the PEP, test and follow up to confirm the results. Learn the lesson from this scare to start practicing safer sex, a good place to start is condoms and lube.

Jim

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #9 on:** September 20, 2016, 09:31:57 pm »

Thanks Jim,

Do you think my first RNA test is a good indicator of this exposure? I contacted my first Dr. and he was confident about it.

I dont know if I should talk to my closest friends about this. They are all wondering what is wrong with me since I have fallen into depression and hiding from everyone.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #10 on:** September 20, 2016, 09:42:58 pm »

Hi

As said any negative result you have had so far is a reassuring sign, I don't recommend RNA testing and follow-up testing is needed to confirm your results post finishing PEP.

I can't answer the other question. All I can tell you is disclosure is a very personal thing and it can lead to great support but also to deep hurt. To be honest I am not sure what you would tell them, it was unprotected intercourse and hence you need to test to confirm you are negative. Calm down, stop reading online, take your PEP and test to confirm, deep breath as there is simply nothing much to get stressed about the moment

I suspect you will be fine when you finish the PEP and test to confirm your status

Jim

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #11 on:** September 24, 2016, 10:53:53 am »

Hello,

Today is my 25th day of PEP.

Is it common that PEP will supress the viral load to lower than 30 copies/ml? I have read a lot about the Aptima RNA test I took and it only has a capacity to test up to 30 copies of RNA/ml...
Even though if the viral load is undetectable will the body have the capacity to produce antigens and antibodies??

I feel like the unluckiest person. I do not know the viral load of my partner yet, he has the test on monday but the Dr. who examined him told him he suspects he could start treatment later since he has no symptoms, etc.

I am so sorry for rambling and bothering so much but this situation is killing me.

Thanks,

Wade · « **Reply #12 on:** September 24, 2016, 11:10:54 am »

Hi, I wish I could help with your anxiety but i can't, and there is really nothing to add that you haven't already been told.

At this point you will simply have to try and relax and test as advised by Jim upon completion of PEP. When this is over and behind you look at it as a lesson and have safe and responsible sex in the future.

Best, Wade

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #13 on:** September 28, 2016, 02:57:16 pm »

Hello,

Its me again and I am sorry to bother you all.

Since my last post I received my second PCR Proviral DNA (it doesnt cost me anything, it is heavily subsidized by the state) and It was negative. It was done 16 days after exposure. I just went to pick it really late.

On my last day of PEP (yesterday) I did an DUO test and it came back Negative. On the body the doctor mentions that PEP should not affect seroconversion if it didnt work...I dont know how certain this is..

OK, I know I have to test after my last dose of PEP. This I know for sure...
I called a PEP hotline in SanFran and the person over the phone told me to stop testing and that I should be assured with my test and wait two weeks after the last pill of PEP and test with an RNA Qual and a DUO..To be on the safe side.

Thanks in advance!

Jim Allen · « **Reply #14 on:** September 28, 2016, 03:05:04 pm »

Hi

There is nothing new for me to comment on, like I said before finish the PEP and test as per guidelines post finishing PEP (6 & 13 weeks) and than move on in your life.

I can't comment on what others have told you and give you anything other than the default guidelines.

Now some tests may detected sooner, however a negative antibody result at 13 weeks post incident or in this case post PEP is a conclusive result. RNA / DNA testing is nice but not recommended for routine screening or as stand-alone screening for a number of reasons so all I can say is test as per the guidelines above and any negative result you have had so far is a reassuring sign.

To be honest I suspect you will be fine.
Learn the lesson from this scare to start practicing safer sex, a good place to start is condoms and lube.

Jim

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #15 on:** November 06, 2016, 05:56:41 pm »

Hello forum, I have another question and I cant believe I have put myself in this situation.

I have been dating this guy and I like him. We got physical one night and in the heat of the moment he was rubbing his penis against my butt and for like ONE or two seconds it slipped in and I inmediately pulled away.

Before this I was giving him a blow job and kissing a lot.
This is embarrasing but before we got physical I went to the bathroom for the big one and I was thinking maybe I got a tear in the rectum while in the bathroom.

Thank you

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #16 on:** November 06, 2016, 06:12:13 pm »

I presume your question is, am I infected with HIV because of this? Is this the same HIV positive person in your original post in this thread?

Of course, no one could tell you this over the internet, but if you had unprotected sex, you could be at risk. Sure, it may be a minimal risk if it truly was for one or two seconds (slipped in?), but it could be a risk if your partner is HIV positive.

Consult with the medical personnel who provided you PEP for further advice on how to proceed based on the facts of your circumstances

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #17 on:** November 06, 2016, 06:26:37 pm »

Sorry, NO this is not the same person. We have talked about sero status before and he assures me he is NEG. Would you think PEP is warranted just to be on the safe side or would it be an overkill? I honestly hated every second of PEP.

And yes, it was a slip for sure. No more than 2 seconds.

Sorry for the incomplete info, I was distracted on the phone. Cheers.

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #18 on:** November 06, 2016, 06:35:13 pm »

It doesn't matter what I think. What matters is whether you had a risk and whether your health-care provider is of the opinion that you should be prescribed another round of PEP. Quite simply, it is not for me to say.

If your partner is HIV truly negative, then you had no risk. If he is positive, you may have had a risk, small as that risk may be, since he was not, presumably, wearing a condom.

Discuss whether you should go on PEP with your health-care provider.

Worrysomelo · « **Reply #19 on:** November 06, 2016, 06:59:53 pm »

Thanks for your response, I was hoping for some opinion of yours based on your experience in the forum and knowledge. The reason I cannot see my doctor now is that it is holiday in the country I am in and its extended for a couple days.

Anywho, I am sorry if my post made you upset or anything. Thanks.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #20 on:** November 06, 2016, 07:10:23 pm »

Hi

Look its simple unprotected intercourse is a known risk for the transmission of HIV. You already know this and we have covered this before.

Guidelines are to test at 6 weeks past any incident and then at 13 weeks to confirm the result. You can read about testing here:HIV Testing

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information can be found in my signature including some basic information on:
HIV Testing & HIV Transmission and Risks

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.

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Author Topic: Unprotected anal with confirmed HIV partner. Please help! (Read 6084 times)