POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: hey_thur on January 19, 2007, 05:58:55 pm

Title: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on January 19, 2007, 05:58:55 pm
Hey thur

Over the xmas period I put myself at risk, stoopid yes, been a big wake up call, hopefully not to late.

To explain my situation briefly, I had a 3 casual relationships on the go, on a regualr basis, two of the woman have been over a period of a year, and we all been tested neagtive. One of them i knew was seeing a previous partner of hers, so initially i used a condom for vaginal and analsex. The problem i have is falling asleep and waking up horney and not thinking about a condom, upon which i enterd her vaginally then briefly anally before it registering with me how careless i was being upon which i continued forth 'with a condom'.

So there was a brief period of unprotected sex there, and 3 weeks later ive come about a bit ill and now im freaking out. I know i need to get the test, which i will do, unfortunately not enough time has elapsed and its just a waiting time to get to the recommended time before i can test

the anxiety is killing me, its just about crippling, should I ask her to get a test, be with her as support, do i get tested now throught the rapid test, wait till mid feb when 6 weeks has elapsed or wait a full 3 months?
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: Andy Velez on January 19, 2007, 06:42:53 pm
For starters, forget about asking the woman in question to test. Your health is your responsibility. The test result you want and need to know your status is your own.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's significantly more difficult to accomplish from female to male. If I am understanding you correctly, the only unprotected incident was this recent one. If that is so the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor against transmission having occured in a brief, one shot situation. And of course, you don't even know for sure that the woman is in fact HIV+.

You do need to learn from this experience. It's understandable about you having been sleepy, but sleepy or not, keep those condoms  handy and use one everytime. Stay awake to protecting your health. Period.

The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure. So if you can't stand waiting, get tested at 6 weeks. Assuming you test negative, play it safe and re-test at 13 weeks and collect what will very likely be a second negative. 

In the meantime staying productively busy will help the time to pass more quickly than you may imagine possible at this moment. Really.

Good luck with your test.

Cheers,
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on January 19, 2007, 07:32:36 pm
Thank you for that Andy, very reassuring, thanks for reading, does the risk decrease moreso if i am circumsized
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: Andy Velez on January 19, 2007, 07:36:51 pm
The risk is actually less if you are circumcised. The foreskin has cells which are more receptive to transmission.
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on January 23, 2007, 06:42:51 pm
3 weeks after, now feel ars coming on, diarorrhea, sore glands, tiredness, its to coincidental
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: ACinKC on January 24, 2007, 10:22:04 am
Symptoms mean nothing.  Do try and remember that.  Quite a few (and by that I mean an overwhelming majority) of the people that post in this forum experience a vast range of symptoms virtually all of them wind up testing negative.

You need to wait it out and test at 6 weeks which will be a great indicator!  You are already over half way there.  As Andy said HIV is HARD to get.  Especially from female to male.  Your chances are extremely good that you are in the clear.

Good vibes coming your way.  Try and keep busy.  And for godsakes stay away from here if you value your sanity.
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: Andy Velez on January 24, 2007, 10:45:09 am
The waiting period can be torturous or not. It really has everything to do with you and how you handle it.

If you surf the net and get caught up in what ifs, you will drive yourself nuts.

But, if you will just notice when you get tense and a scary thought has popped up yet again, just notice it, take a breath and let it go. Soon another different thought or feeling comes along. It's only when you try to push the scary ones away that you get into trouble and they stick like white on rice.

Staying productively busy is also very helpful. Your life is about a lot more than this incident so quit living as if this is the only thing.

I expect you to come out of this ok when you get tested. Now, breathe and get on with your life.   
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on January 25, 2007, 02:20:36 pm
I dont think i will come out of this, ive had diorhea for a week now, saw the person who i was at risk with, she is lathergic and bruises easy, we both going to get tested, man im scared
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: ACinKC on January 25, 2007, 02:33:03 pm
Lethargy and bruising dont mean anything in regards to HIV.  Seriously, try to stay away from what if's and self diagnosis and the like.  Whatever your hobby is, devote some serious time to it!  Keep busy, it will pass.
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on January 25, 2007, 02:38:24 pm
i wish i could, but i cant because i dont feel well, feel so alone
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: ACinKC on January 25, 2007, 03:13:34 pm
Find a new hobby (not reading about HIV and AIDS is a good start) which requires little to no effort.  Learn a language or something.
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on January 25, 2007, 05:23:41 pm
in the past week i have lost about 10 pounds
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: ACinKC on January 25, 2007, 05:28:34 pm
Stress and anxiety will do that too you.  Try video games if you can.  they take my mind off of shit all the time.
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on February 08, 2007, 05:07:17 pm
Had a finger prick test along with the partner I was at risk with on the 2nd of feb, last time she had sex with some1 else was prior 18th of december, we both were negative, still freaking out tho
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: ACinKC on February 08, 2007, 06:13:35 pm
You're recent test is an excellent indicator of your status.  Just confirm it with a follow up test at 13 weeks.
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: hey_thur on February 12, 2007, 04:45:06 am
damn, now im getting night sweats, sore ear, im one of those that convert after six weeks
Title: Re: been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time
Post by: RapidRod on February 12, 2007, 04:56:13 am
Again, symptoms don't mean a thing. HIV has no specific symptoms. If you didn't have to drag the mattress outside to dry, then you haven't had the associated night sweats we talk about.