worried male

[davelamb73]

hello folks
                hi i would really like some advice if at all possible. i recently went to Amsterdam on a stag weekend and got extremely drunk and made a couple of very stupid mistakes. i had sex with two prostitutes from the red light area both window prostitutes and iam am 99% certain that both times were with protection but now my minds playing tricks with me that maybe they were not. i also had a 1cm wide cut on my finger that was around 2 mm deep from what i gather this is not a issue even if i did finger the prostitute.
 I never thought anything of it until i confided in a friend after the guilt got to much for me as am getting married next year and the thought of cheating on my fiancee has got me a total mess, to make things worse i slept with my longterm partner 1 week after my return unprotected as we have been together for a long time. My friend warned me that id taken a huge risk as sex workers in Amsterdam are rife with HIV and that there was a massive chance that i could be infected, of course this sent me into over drive and spent hour on hours trawling the net and reading every am i infected post on this forum. i myself have had no specific symptoms other than a tickley cough and very stiff neck and also a head rash that cleared up with cream after one day. the stiff neck appeared 8 days after my risky encounter the rash a week later and still have the cough and Flem throat. my high risk encounter was just over 5 weeks ago other than those few things mentioned i feel great just very anxious. My longterm partner though has been quite poorly since we had sex around 8 days after we had sex she came down with cold like symptoms IE sore throat blocked nose and tickley cough no other symptoms mentioned that are connected. Her cold symptoms lasted around a week then cleared up. i thought no problem just a common cold nothing to worry about, wrong bang on the 22 days that its says that the symptoms appear she has been stuck down with 1 days vomiting 4 days stomach cramps and her sore throat and cough have returned. Ive avoided sex with her since the one incident after my high risk exposure but we travel abroad in 2 weeks on a holiday of a lifetime and cant hold her off forever i intend to get tested after 13 weeks as advised but that isn't till after our vacation help please what do i do where do i go. I know you dont discuss symptoms but yes or no answers to my questions would be eternally grateful
 1 is it true that HIV is rife within the regulated Amsterdam red light area
 2 do the sex workers usually insist on condoms
 3 do the symptoms Ive suffered so like early HIV
 4 do the symptoms my partner is showing look like early HIV
 
thank you so much for your help and patience
Dave

[Andy Velez]

Let's keep this simple. Unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse are the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV. None of your so-called symptoms are HIV specific in anyway. If they persist, discuss them with your doctor.

It sounds to me as if it is likely you were wearing condoms. But why not just relieve your anxiety and worries and get tested. You can do an initial test at 6 weeks. Assuming you get the negative result I expect, then it is very, very likely you will continue to test negative at 3 months for a final and conclusive result.

I expect you to come out of this ok.

[davelamb73]

Thanks for advice andy.
  i intend to have a 6 week test in the next few weeks do you have any idea how long it takes to receive your results. Also are you aware if the red light scene in amsterdam is rife with hiv. Thankyou again for your advice and help

[Ann]

Dave,

To answer your specific questions...

1. No. The friend who told you that is a prejudicial prat. The Red Light District is very well regulated and the women are tested regularly for hiv and all the other, more easily transmitted STIs as well. The women there use condoms every time to protect their own health, their licence, and their livelihood.

2. Yes. See above.

3. No.

4. No.

Nothing you did in Amsterdam was a risk for hiv infection.

However, testing is a good idea for both you and your girlfriend before you get married. You just never know and I'm sure you've heard the old adage - when you have sex with someone, you're also having sex with every other person they have had sex with. If you're both in the habit of not bothering with protection when you pick someone up down the pub, then you've been at risk for not only hiv, but all the other STIs as well. Food for thought, eh? It's not just sex workers or gay men who are at risk for hiv, ANYONE who has unprotected intercourse is at risk.

But I'll say it again - NOTHING you did in Amsterdam put you at risk for hiv infection.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER FINGERING OR UNPROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[davelamb73]

Thanks for your advice ann. Just one one more very quick question i have been diagnosed with post nasal drip is this common with early hiv symptom. Iam booked in for a test next week so il no either way very soon just piece of mind really thanks again

[davelamb73]

Just to add to my last post sorry. My girlfrend was diagnose with sysitis ans a idopathic stomach infection any connection.

[Ann]

Dave,

No, nothing you mention has any relation to hiv. And why would it? You didn't put yourself at risk for hiv infection.

What happens in Amsterdam should stay in Amsterdam. Get on with your life.

Ann