HIV Anxiety

[Jonnerb99]

I have been living with some serious anxiety (and guilt) for the past two months now.  I would like briefly share my story here and hear some comments.

I am a married man who recently visited a massage parlour on one occasion.  While there I received unprotected oral sex from the worker as well as some hand gential stimulation.  I did ejactualte but not in her mouth.

While there I also received a small wound on the side of my penis.  It resembled a small scratch or possible a slight chafe.  It could be covered by the tip of my finger and upon pressing my finger firmly against it a small faint red spot would appear on my finger. It was not near the head, but on the side of the shaft.  In about 24 hours or less this wound was completely healed and not visible.

I seem to be very fixated on this and wondering if this wound could increase my risk of HIV, if the worker was a carrier and that wound was in her mouth.

I do realize that a lot of my uneasiness stems from doing this behind my wife's back.  I have since told her about the incident and she has agreed to work through it with me.  I understand that topic is not for this forum but I am working with a therapist on that.

However, I would appreciate a comment on the small wound I referred to.  It may help put my mind at ease a bit. I do want to work towards a sex life with my wife again as we work this out but I am afraid to right now.

I should add I tested negative a 2 weeks and again 5.5 weeks for numerous STDs and HIV.  I was told the HIV test, tested for the presence of antibodies and antigen.  I would like to get another done at the three month mark and that is my plan right now anyway.

Thanks in adavce for your response.  I will really appreciate it.

[Andy Velez]

Jonner, basically you are worrying needlessly. The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are used consistently for those activities you will be well protected.

There is no need for testing nor for further concern because nothing you are reporting put you at risk for HIV. Nothing, including what you refer to as a small wound on the side of your penis. HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmitted in a viable form in the ways you are worrying about.

Like many husbands and partners before you, the real issue here is your guilt about having strayed. You did what you did. That can't be undone, see it, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. HIV is not your problem. Period.

[Jonnerb99]

Thank you very much for the response Andy.  You are right that most of my problems are stemming from the fact that I strayed.  I am seeing a therapist to discuss my guilt.  I guess we all must come to terms with our mistakes, learn and move on. 

Thank you again and best wishes.

[Andy Velez]

You're welcome.

Say everything you can in your sessions. That's how you get the most out of the experience. Good luck to you in moving on.

Cheers.