insertive oral sex: cdc and the others

[mtabla77]

firstly, a sincere thank you for the excellent work you do.

i'd like to post about the risk of a male receiving (is the insertive partner) oral sex from a woman. its an issue that has been posted about many times in this forum - and your stance has been clear and unequivocal: no risk, don't bother getting tested. of course the reason i'm interested is that i recently had insertive oral sex with an escort and i was worried sick about my hiv risks.

as other posters have pointed out, it is worrying that cdc still says the activity is a risk. but i think you have to interpret their advice as "its theoretically possible, but not as yet documented to occur. given the data and the lack of cases, every passing year without a documented case implies that this is a zero risk activity. but were it to be a route of transmission, then this is how transmission would most likely occur".

is that fair? and just to add a bit of value to other posters who might stumble on to the same worry, here are three official sites that agree with your position and not cdcs:

university of california (san francisco)
http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/hiv?page=basics-00-08

the swiss hiv/aids info site
http://www.aids.ch/e/fragen/risiko.php#FAQ4

dr hunter handsfield (director of std control program for public health)
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIV/messages/610.html

[Ann]

M,

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection, whether you're with a sex worker or the girl next door. The CDC is funded by the US government - the same government who promotes abstinence only and refuses to teach its citizens how to use condoms. I take most of what they say about hiv with a very large pinch of salt.

Getting a blowjob is not, never has been and never will be a risk for hiv infection.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you DO NOT NEED TO TEST over getting a blowjob, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann

[mtabla77]

appreciate the response and i take on board the need to have regular, routine tests.

but what is your take on cdc's advice? am i correct in my interpretation? or do you think its simply a government agency practicing cya?

[Matty the Damned]

It's a combination of CYA and the CDC pushing the US government's abstinence model, which is notorious for it's ineffectiveness.

MtD

[mtabla77]

It's a combination of CYA and the CDC pushing the US government's abstinence model, which is notorious for it's ineffectiveness.

i guess thats right when we look at what the last surgeon general said and what the current nominee thinks. how very pathetic.

so who do you consider as a good scientific just the facts ma'am source (present company excluded)?

[Matty the Damned]

We're the best source of information on these things. As Ann noted you'll find the links to our Lessons in our Welcome Thread.

MtD

[mtabla77]

while i can intellectually understand the argument that i'm not at any risk, i am constantly on the net looking for info and i wake up thinking about my stupidity. it is SO hard just to put it behind you and move on - it must be the guilt as i'm a married man.

on the other hand, while i appreciate this must sound like whining of the worst sort to those already dealing with keeping the infection at bay, i'll ask anyway - how on earth do you just move on?

oh and i did stumble on this chart in all the reading on the net

http://dphwww.sfdph.org/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp

that i thought might be useful for those in my shoes.

[RapidRod]

You should have kept on reading on that site.

http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/drk/oralsex4.asp

[Andy Velez]

How do you move on? Well for starters you stop surfing the net for dis-information that will only fuel your fears.

You need to kick that addictive habit because nothing good is coming out of it.

You're a dawg like the rest of us, you went straying and you can't undo that. Instead of indulging in this self-inflicted drama, see what happened, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. That's the best thing you can do for all concerned. Really. And yes, kicking this fear can be done.

[mtabla77]

indeed i am a dog - and the past cant be undone. you must understand the symptoms very well - there isn't a minute that passes that i dont chastise myself for being that dog. self-inflicted drama is right!

ok, here goes that deep breath ...

[mtabla77]

andy,

thank you for the reassurance that the fear can be fought - i wish i could adequately thank you and all the others that run this forum for the huge benefit we get from the collected wisdom, but i don't think thats possible.

but judging from recent posts, the fear cycle seems common to many of us: the berating at our stupidity, the endless 'what if' scenarios, the exhaustive research on the web, the inability to sleep and wake up and so on.

so here's the speech i make to myself when i need calming - who knows, it might help some other worried: 'there is mortality risk when we take a plane, cross the road, swim in the sea ... but the odds are so low that we do these things without thinking about it. effectively, these are risk free events. and as the odds of being infected in a single heterosexual act are significantly lower than the odds of a false positive on a hiv test, it is much smarter to just move on than keep worrying.'

 

[Andy Velez]

Glad to know you have found the support here to be helpful.

HIV is STILL not an issue for you, but getting on with your life IS.

Just keep going, buddy.

Cheers,

[mtabla77]

andy - your sense for echo is uncannily accurate.

i'm trying not to falter, and it IS getting better - but every so rarely ...

thanks.

[Andy Velez]

Well, those little pellets of fearful thoughts that may go off every now and then are just something to notice, to breathe through and let them be. Then another different thought or feeling comes up and  you continue on your way.

Those are just feelings to experience momentarily and not facts.

Cheers,