I'm a coward

[swede_dish]

I was invited to speak at World AIDS day here in Traverse City.......but I don't know.  Now I am pretty open about my status, but at the same time...I'm not. I do like to keep my confidentiality..GUH I FEEL LIKE SUCH A TOOL. I should be happy and honored that they asked me and I am...but not only am I terrified of public speaking (it's a big event) but I think there are better people to speak.


I don't know what to do!! GHA!

[DanielMark]

Swede Dish,

You might frind the following article of interest in making your decision:

According to The Book of Lists, the fear of public speaking ranks number one in the minds of the majority of people. Far above the fear of death and disease, comes the fear of standing in front of a crowd. We all want to be movie stars, but are terrified of the spotlight. I have some opinions about why this happens ...

http://www.the-eggman.com/writings/fearspk1.html

Daniel

[cjc]

You are not a coward. it would seem that it would be normal to be nervous about something like that. Just decide what is best for you  and do it. Good luck, whichever you decide.  Cristy

[Basquo]

Your T-shirt at the AIDS Walk spoke volumes about you to your town as well as all of us here and who knows where else.  Maybe that's enough for now.  Only you can decide if you want to wonder "what if I had" forever, or until maybe next year, or if you can do it now, whether you're comfortable or not.  Some people are never comfortable yet they go out and do it anyway.  Consider who your audience will be, and if you think it will have any negative ramifications. Since I found this website, I've disclosed more in the last year than in the previous 5 years, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to disclose to anyone who will listen. Again, only you can decide, and I hope the responses here will help you make that decision.

best,
Creighton

[manchesteruk]

I'd take it as a massive compliment either way whatever you decide to do.  I know where your coming from with the public speaking thing though I shit myself if I have to talk to more than about 10 people at once!

[blondbeauty]

Imagine all the people in the room sitting on the WC...you will feel much more confident.

[swede_dish]

Hm...Well I talked to the guy hosting it and he said i didn't have to disclose if I didn't want to. He said I can just talk about the topic in general...I'll give it a shot I guess...once can't hurt eh?

Hahah the WC...

Thank you for the website Daniel! =)

[Joe K]

Hey Swede,

I will warn you that once you do this, there is no going back.  I suspect you will find, as many of us have that sharing our story is more powerful than we could ever imagine.  When I used to talk to groups in the early 90s I would start setting up all my med bottles as I talked.  I made it take about 15 minutes and when the pile was in plain view I told them simply that "these are what keep me alive".  I did not need to say much, the pills said it all.  My point is that by your simply talking to others, you are making a statement and even silence can be powerful.

To disclose is your choice, but I encourage you to do so, because the power of a pos person talking about what being poz is like is something that very few people have experienced personally.  Your presence will challenge and sooth parts of the audience and you can be sure that few will miss your message.  I hope you enjoy it as I believe there are few things more enjoyable than helping others.  This is your chance to save some lives, make some people think and lend silent support to the pozzies in the audience.

To keep your composure, assuming you are standing, just look at something right above the last row and every one will think you are looking at them.  That way you don't get confused or startled by some comment or reaction.  And if you have a hard time getting started, just imagine them all naked, never fails to break the jitters and once you start talking...

Thank you for having the courage to do this.  Enjoy

[anniebc]

Hi Swede

I hope you decide to do this, trust me, you won't regret it.

In the 18 months I have been in NZ I have done ten talks to 200+ med students, Doctors and young nurses...the first one I ever did was I really nervous and I didn't think I would get through it...just before the second half of my talk a young Lecturer came up and gave me the same advise Joe has given you.."consentrate on one person in the back row and you will be fine"..so I did this, and after a few minutes no-one else in that auditorium existed expect this one student, it was like talking face to face with just one person...I knew everyone was listening but I wasn't distracted by 200+ pairs of eyes looking at me...it surprising how easy it is when you are talking to just one guy.

I wish you all the best, I know you can do this and I know you will get a great satisfaction from this experience....Go for it.

Hugs
Jan

[DanielMark]

You're welcome, Swede Dish.

I've done some public speaking over the years (on unrelated matters), and I feel your anxiety.

I was also invited to perform some songs I wrote as part of a fund raiser last December for the Ottawa Food Bank. I agonized for weeks before it and practised until I was purple.

The night of the show I was SO stressed that I wondered what I was doing there or why they wanted me. I hadn’t been on a stage in 20 years and this was at our National Arts Centre! Yoikes! If it hadn't been for a good cause, I would have run.

Any how, when it came time to get on stage, I managed to (on auto pilot) crack a joke which everyone laughed at and made me feel slightly more at ease.

All that to say, if you can think of a funny personal tale to tell near the beginning of your talk, it may break the tension enough for you to sail through the rest of it.

Just a suggestion.

Daniel