VERY VERY SCARED/WORRIED WOMAN PLEASE ASSESS RISKS IM GOING CRAZY

[verysad]

Hello all, 

Please let me first start by saying thank you in advance for taking the time to really read my post and answer based on medical facts. I am a 28 year old woman an d am worried sick. Real quick background in October of 2012 I had a reactive elisa reflexed to western blot for confirmation which was all negative = HIV negative. I was sent to an infectious disease doctor to dig a little further he ran two more elisas and they both came back reactrive again so they too were reflexed to western blot for confirmation and I received two indeterminate results done minutes apart all with different bands except the one band that usually comes back reactive first when you initially get diagnosed he said on both tests. He said this is weird he has never seen this before and had me do a viral load test which came back as undetectable. The viral load was done in the end of january he said thats more then enough time to have a viral load show and he is 100% sure I am negative.

Well anyways that sent m,e into a spiral panic downward since then I am a mess convinced that I have it I cry all the time have panic and anxiety issues and am just literally I think going insane.

Anyways lets fast forward to now. the only contact I have had with anyone since then has been my repeatedly negative lesbian partner. Until January 1st of this year (WE HAD BROKEN UP) To make a long story short this is what I engaged in to my better judgement. I had very deep kissing incident twice and was fingered twice by a girl of unknown status. I was drinking both times but I dont believe she had any blood in her mouth and her teeth and gums looked fine also mine were in tact however I brush pretty hard. As far as the fingering I was the one being fingered, however I dont know if she may have been fingering herself in between cause I know she tried to and I yelled at her, the second time she did I did see a hangnail with dried blood on it after she finished fingering me, she did insert the finger not just clitoral stimulation. So the was on December 1st and then the second was I believe liike December 4th I did get a very sore throat no other symptoms on december 8th that lasted for three weeks. I dont have post nasal drip and i rarely get sick, also she sad she wasnt sick nor did she ever get the sore throat or sick from me. then the second issue is I deep kissed a bisexual promiscuous male twice once on December 4th and then on December 10th We deep kissed again and i was wearing thin leggings no underwear and he was in his boxers and he so called dry humped me for about ten minutes i could feel the head of his penis against the vaginal area opening through my leggings and there was precum.. no ejaculation but a lot of precum that got onto my leggings in that area.

I am so sorry thats so long but here are my questions
1.) What are they chances that the tests in 2012 were not accurate?

2.)could the two incidents  described with the lesbian of unknown status have given me HIV assuming she has it? the bloody hangnail inserted into my vagina? Why or why not and deep kissing.

3.)could the sore throat be a sign of ars? Why or why not?

4.) could I have gotten HIV from the promiscuous bisexual man assuming he has it? From deep kissing/dry humping a lot with wetting the crotch opening of my legging also i wasnt wearing underwear just the leggings.. why or why not?

5)  am also experiencing now four months later unexplained weightloss 7 pounds in the past two weeks and I am eating like a cow =could this be due to being infected? (I always had a hard time losing weight)
 
I also live in south florida where 1 in 22 gay and bisexual men have HIV, I have a 10 year old daughter i dont wanna leave please ann, andy, rapid help do i need testing Im worried sick. Thank you so much

[Jeff G]

Nothing you mention is a risk for HIV . HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex and not from kissing, fingering or frottage/rubbing .   

Your symptoms are not specific to HIV and that is why we never discuss symptoms . If you are sick please see a doctor and discuss it with them .

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[verysad]

Thank you for your response. However I was hoping for a more direct response to all my questions, even the one regarding the old testing (before these exposures). I know its easy to say no risk and all and put the same cookie cutter answer for the no risks, but I suffer from severe anxiety diagnosed since I was 13 mainly social and health anxiety. So while I can see your answer if you could please answer the individual questions one by one I would appreciate it. Also f you think I need to be tested over these things. I am going literally insane crying all the time etc. and yes I do have a therapist for anxiety what happened in 2012 literally pushed me over the edge im terrified to even test now because of that incident. I just need a hand to hold right now so to say and if you could just possibly take the time address all my questions I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much This really would mean a lot to me

[Joe K]

Thank you for your response. However I was hoping for a more direct response to all my questions, even the one regarding the old testing (before these exposures). I know its easy to say no risk and all and put the same cookie cutter answer for the no risks, but I suffer from severe anxiety diagnosed since I was 13 mainly social and health anxiety. So while I can see your answer if you could please answer the individual questions one by one I would appreciate it. Also f you think I need to be tested over these things. I am going literally insane crying all the time etc. and yes I do have a therapist for anxiety what happened in 2012 literally pushed me over the edge im terrified to even test now because of that incident. I just need a hand to hold right now so to say and if you could just possibly take the time address all my questions I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much This really would mean a lot to me

Very,

None of us have the time to answer every question regarding sexual activities in great detail.  Our only role here is to assess risk for HIV infection and you have not had a risk.  However I will briefly address your questions.

Your test in 2012 was accurate and you are negative.  HIV is a very fragile virus and once it leaves the body, changes occur that render it unable to infect.  The mouth is another barrier in that it contains over a dozen proteins or enzymes that render it unable to infect.  HIV is sexually transmitted from UNPROTECTED anal and vaginal sex.  Kissing, fingering or frottage/rubbing is NOT how HIV is transmitted.

We do not discuss symptoms and if you are feeling unwell, please consult with your doctor.

You are reliably negative.  If we thought you were at any risk, we would be begging you to test, but you have not had a risk.

Joe

[verysad]

Jeff, Joe thank you for your responses.

I know that you do this on your time and believe me there are tons of people thankful for that, also people like me worrying "needlessly" over non risk activities repeatedly probably start to get irritating. I am really sorry for that, I realllly wish I didnt have anxiety problems, but I literally cant help it. Ok so the thread says I only have three questions/responses and to make them count and thats what i am trying to do. So to sum this up:::::

I understand now why you say the deep kissing is not a risk because its hard to get through the saliva that is non infectious/rendering it unable to infect. I get this one.

I understand that I dont have a technical risk factor unprotected vaginal/anal iv drug use.

But what about the finger thats in the confine of my body (vagina) never leaving the confine of the two bodies with a bloody hangnail? Isnt HIV found in blood? Why wouldnt that be able to transmit the virus? Please please explain??

Also, if the precum from dry humping went into my vagina through my thin leggings (no underwear) why couldnt this infect? Is that due to hitting the air first even though it happened within seconds of coming out?

Also, the repeatedly reactive elisas and the indeterminate western blots and the final undetectable viral load being HIV negative seems also shaky to me, nobody has been able to explain this to me not even the doctor. Please someone explain these things.

I know I sound like a nuisance but I cant move on with my life not even through therapy, and I promise you my anxiety doesnt make me a crazy person I am a college educated, hard working single mother thats terrified to leave her chld literally alone...with nobody. That test in 2012 along with my health anxiety literally has ruined my life. I have been wanting someone to explain this test for me for two years now I am going out of my mind, also those other few questions I had regarding the direct exposure to the bloody hangnail inside my vagina never leaving the two confines, and the precum question. You explained the saliva... I do get it.


If anyone of the moderators on here can take the time to read this long exhausting post and please answer the questions i would like to be able to move on mentally and start living again.

Thank you so much

[Jeff G]

Here a better explanation, its the long version of you didn't have a risk .

http://www.ashm.org.au/images/Publications/Monographs/HIV_Management_Australasia/HIV_Management-Chapter_1.pdf

 

[Andy Velez]

Our role is to evaluate level of risk and suggest action or not accordingly. If you are suffering from anxiety and other emotional issues that is something that needs to be addressed in a professional setting. We can't provide that for you here. All I will do at this moment is join the chorus of those suggesting you are worrying unnecessarily about HIV.