Hi, I'm new to this. just found out my blood possitive.

[idna]

Hello everyone.

My name's Sammy. I'm from Thailand. I would like to say sorry for my English as it not perfect. My boyfriend, now he is ex. he told me a month ago that he has hiv positive blood test. I went to checked with 2 hospitals and found that I poz too. my cd4 now is 1720. I'm 28 years old. and my ex he late 40s

My ex and I we has been in long distance relationship for 2 years while I in Thailand and he live in UK together with Thai ex wife. yes, he said ex. we were promised to each other that we will never play around and he also swear to his daughter life that he will never play around and we will have to finish first if he feels he need to have sex with someone else. in this long distance we had a lot problems as i couldn't except of him live together with his ex same house and i felt bad about they would had sex but he told me he have his own bedroom and not sleep together. he live together because he has young daughter with her. I tried to finish with him many times because of this weird relationship that i always had to be alone while he there with her. but he always promised for better and told me he going to kill himself if I finish with him. I loved him a lots. we see each others every 4 to 6 months and we had unprotect sex as i trust him that he would be faithful to me.  last month he told me about he poz. I asked him how was that happened??? he told me he been cheated on me one time 2 months ago. I asked him what??? I got hiv test in July 2011 it was neg and Sept 2012 was neg too. He saw my test result. then he said maybe in July 2012 he can't remember but he has bareback sex in the woods there. my heart so broken but i felt sorry for him i told him if my blood test is Neg I will still be with him and look after him not want him to feel bad. i got test and it POZ. He invited me to UK to visited him while his ex came to Thailand. While i in UK He told me about secret that he also has sex with his ex Thai wife. I cried myself badly asked him why he done that to me? he said it was because i not build him stability while we in long distance while he live with his ex. anyways, after i came back to Thailand. He finished with me and told me to go look for someone else who will make me happy and go find my own happiness. this was the guy that before i had HIV who were called me I am his soul mate and he will kill himself if I leave him. Now he told me to deals with it alone and go look for my own happiness. I often asked myself what has i done wrong? am i just his vacation boyfriend that he never take me serious? in the end i found there is no truth love and I don't believe in forever any more. I will continue to keep my body strong and good health. Yes, I have HIV but I won't let it kill me. I will stay alive to help peoples and to make my family happy.

This website make me feels a lot better that I'm not alone. Sorry again for my English. :-)

[Jeff G]

Welcome to the forums Idna . We have lots of support to offer and great resources for education about the virus and meds . You are going to be just fine and your cd4count is great , just keep up with your doctor appointments and labs and you will do very well .

Your English is fine , I understood everything you shared with us .

[mecch]

Welcome to the forums Idna . We have lots of support to offer and great resources for education about the virus and meds . You are going to be just fine and your cd4count is great , just keep up with your doctor appointments and labs and you will do very well .

Your English is fine , I understood everything you shared with us .

Yes, your English is great, bravo!

I'm really sorry you had to get HIV.  Stick around this forum and learn a lot and get used to it, eventually with time and knowledge, it will all calm down and you'll get your new equilibrium. 

I know you didn't invite a commentary on your relationship, but you did provide a lot of details. What struck me is how manipulative your ex was.  Its the worst kind of emotional blackmail and abuse that he threatened you with suicide if you didn't give him what he needed. And the demands were in so many areas.  He really sounds like "a piece of work", as we say.

I hope this guy is in your past now.  You clearly learned some life lessons based on this bad relationship. But I hope you don't give up on true love.  Just because that guy didn't manage to offer you love and security, doesn't mean you won't find a new partner who will be a much better guy... You deserve better!