POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: skeebo1969 on November 25, 2012, 11:09:33 am
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So.... I really don't know what to make of this.
Last night at about midnight I heard a knock at the door. We live in an apartment and the lady below us is 9 months pregnant so I figured it was delivery time and her mother wanted us to watch their 4 year old while she took her pregnant daughter to the hospital.
When I looked out the peep hole I was a bit shocked to see a guy standing there. I assumed it was the guy upstairs and figured maybe something happened to his kids and he just needed some help. When I opened the door I was a bit shocked when it was someone else. I've seen him before and knew he was one of the local Fort Benning Army guys who lived in the complex.
It was obvious right off the bat that he was on something, alcohol maybe, but most likely something else. I can usually smell the liquor when they are in the state this guy was in.
He starts off telling me his name (don't remember it) and tells me he wants to talk. I guess by the look on my face he can tell I'm not really liking the situation and asks if I got a problem with it. I tell him yes, actually I do because it's late and I don't like the idea of someone knocking on my door after midnight.
Trying to be understanding I decide to step out and talk to the guy and find out what the issue is. He proceeds to tell me he is going through a divorce and misses his kids. And, that he's also been over seas and had rockets and bullets fired at him. So, I figured this is some cry for help maybe... I tell him, having been through divorce myself, that the feelings he's going through are just a moment in his life and not anything that will be long standing.
I can tell... he's not really listening and really does not want to hear anything I have to say. He goes into telling me that he's been watching me, sitting out on my balcony just "living the life". He goes on to say he sees my daughter and that she reminds him of his own daughter.
I asked him if he's been drinking and he says yes, but like I mentioned before, I really don't think that was what it was.
He tells me he can tell I've been drinking and I tell him, "No, I don't drink at all". And then he tells me, "You're a damn lie". At this point, and I haven't felt this way in years, I felt like I might need to physically defend myself.... it's just that feeling you get when something is about to go wrong. Luckily it didn't, and I told him he needs to go back to his apartment and sleep it off.
I don't know.... the whole time I felt like I was being sized up. During the whole encounter he had a really aggressive demeanor about him. It just didn't seem right.
Now I'm wondering if I should say something to someone, perhaps the guy upstairs who holds rank on base. This whole thing really has me worried. The guy has been watching both me and my family, and something seems a bit off with him.
What would you do?
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I would definitely not let it go . I would let the apartment complex manager know and probably call the police and make a report also . I'm creeped out beyond creepy he has been watching your daughter and I know you are too .
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I'm with Jeff on this one. You need to protect yourself and your family. While the guy may have problems, his behaviour is way out of line.
Joe
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Best way to get this guy out of your life would probably be to arrange some help for him or notify someone who can.
The police cant do much and unless you live in a gated community or with 24/7 security he can easily come back again.
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He goes into telling me that he's been watching me, sitting out on my balcony just "living the life". He goes on to say he sees my daughter and that she reminds him of his own daughter.
This ^ made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
This coupled with everything else makes me think you have to do something. He needs help, not knowing how to get it for him I would go to his superior and report what happened/.
Your family is too precious to do nothing.
-Will
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Skeebo;
I agree with the others this is pretty creepy and you need to take some kind of action. I can think of a few options (not in any order):
First - it would be totally acceptable to talk to him about his visit to you, without putting yourself at risk. It may help to get a read on this guy "in daylight". The conversation could be relatively short, but you will probably get a better read on him. For example, is he apologetic and more reasonable or is he elusive and/or confrontational. You could tactfully set some clear boundaries in the conversation (ie. you are not the appropriate person for him, or you are willing to talk during normal hours and sober, or ....).
Second - you could refer him to some counseling resources (and perhaps more importantly, refer them to him) - that could be a way of meeting his need with compassion while also letting him know that someone else knows about his visit.
Third - and perhaps most importantly - I don't know how old your daughter is, but it would warrant an "age appropriate" discussion with your daughter about the potential danger (without freaking her out). I am a father myself.
Let's hope for a healthy outcome for all involved,
JM
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Its just my opinion but since the guy admitted he has been watching the family I wouldn't want any futher contact with this individual . Having any further discussions with this person could leave the impression you have invited him into your life .
Its clear he needs help but I wouldn't be naive enough my self to think one more conversation might make a difference . The message I would want to send is stay away from me and my family .
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I would have a daytime convo with the guy. Politely and firmly let him know you didn't like the middle of the night invasion...I would also let the apartment manager know what happened. I would not let this slide....
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This ^ made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
That's exactly how I felt last night and even today.
Thanks everyone for the replies. I'm going to avoid the guy entirely. If something else strange happens again I'll take it a step further. I'm hoping he was just having a rough night.
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If I got another late night knock on the door from this guy I would not answer and call the police.
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If I got another late night knock on the door from this guy I would not answer and call the police.
That's what I plan to do..... I don't want you guys to have to read about me on yahoo or something.
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Aside from no more contact, no answering the door, and putting wife and daughter on clear alert, I would at least have a chat with the local police. Give them all of the information. In fact, you could save a cop some time and copy/paste your post, edit it with details and give him a printout. I wouldn't let much time pass.
You don't know him nor how long the list may be of events just like this that others have experienced. If he's unraveling, whether due to PTSD or anything else, then people who can do something need to know what's happening.
All too often in the aftermath of someone's destruction, people pool the clues which, had they been taken in total, could have enabled law enforcement to take preemptive action.
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That's what I plan to do..... I don't want you guys to have to read about me on yahoo or something.
What you described would freak me the holy hell out. You are handling this WAY more logically and kindly than I would have. Hell, I would have moved by now. Then again, I am freakishly agoraphobic and twitchy at the very best of times.
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I wouldn't have answered the door?
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I wouldn't have answered the door?
He shouldn't have knocked?
I ended up speaking to the guy upstairs about it. Boy, did that really help... NOT. I thought perhaps he could get the guy some help on base. Instead, after drinking all day himself, he went down and confronted the guy about it. The guy who knocked on my door denied doing it and said I was out walking my dog.
So the other guy from upstairs comes to my apartment and starts telling me what happened between him and the guy who knocked on my door. This conversation strays into him telling me how he drinks every day but does not hit his wife. You know what that probably means-- he hits his wife.
The story goes on about losing men in Iraq, but not really losing men (wtf?) and then he almost starts to cry, but holds back. This goes on for about an hour... oh, I almost forgot, he kept telling me my dog looks like Bolt from some children's movie. And, he had to tell me this about 5 times because I guess he didn't remember telling me the other 4 times or, perhaps, he thought I might forget.. Good grief.
After ripping a loud fart at my table, and telling me how blacks are responsible for 80% of crime, he finally excuses himself from our presence.
Also, the lady downstairs is complaining about our dog when he runs across the floor... she says it sounds like a herd of cattle. She should trade places with us, because the drunk guy who never hits his wife above us makes such noises that sound like he's knocking his wife out and she's hitting the floor.
My wife wonders why I don't like living in apartments and why I cherish the memories when we lived in our own home in Florida.
This has become a rant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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^ Like this post. LOL
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What you described would freak me the holy hell out. You are handling this WAY more logically and kindly than I would have. Hell, I would have moved by now. Then again, I am freakishly agoraphobic and twitchy at the very best of times.
Trust me, I'm not far from this myself. I woke up this morning and took my daughter to school, and then came home and slept for another 6 hours. I think I'm getting a bit depressed from all this drama. It obviously doesn't take much......