POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: x-rat on January 02, 2008, 10:40:36 am
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Hi, I wanted to post here yesterday but I was waiting for the user confirmation.
Please evaluate I need help to take urgent decision:
3 weeks ago a drunk night: french kissing, received rimming and receptive anal protected with HCW.
Ysterday I touched with saliva a very fresh abrasion in the leg of my son removing the healed blood with it!!!! (a few minutes after it happened) with saliva (stupid!!!), and just that morning I wake up with a problem in one teeth which is blooding constantly since then (so my saliva has had a lot of traces of blood all day).
I cleaned the site inmediatly with water (just a rinse).
Should I take a test and start pep for him in case I've been exposed to HIV?
I wasn't very worried about me (just worried) until this happened..
Even the smallest change for it to happen terrifies me.
Can you tell me what to do? Have a few hours from now to start PEP on him...
Thank you all.
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Whooooooooooooooooooooa! Steady, man!
You are totally over-the-top worried and all for no reason grounded in HIV science. The most important thing is that you used a condom for intercourse. They provide very effective protection.
There is no need for testing and certainly no need for PEP for either you or your son. You need to become better acquainted with the realities of transmission. Read our lesson on it. There's a link to it in the welcome thread which opens this section.
Reads to me like you're full of guilt and anxiety about your experience. Nothing you did put you at risk for transmission. Period.
Take a breath, buddy. Some nice deep and slow ones. Really. And do that everytime you have another burst of unwarranted anxiety.
THIS IS NOT AN HIV SITUATION.
Cheers,
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Thank you Andy, It just when I talk about my sons health even the slightest posibility just deserves attention, and if it's HIV and because of me... WOUAOUUUUU yes I'm driving crazy!
Only a few days after the encounter I started to ask myself if all intercourse was protected because I drunked a lot, but from what I can remember it was protected and without ejaculation.
I've read a lot in one day, sleeping only 4 hours last night. I know it would be a remote possibility, almost close to negligible to reach my son. Still in doubt to go to ER and tell this... Both because I feel stupid and guilty, and because when I think of it sometimes to happen it can't be true, I think I would win the "HIV most stupid way transmission prize", hope I wont.
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Even IF you had had unprotected sex you still wouldn't have been putting your son at risk with your saliva on his bruise. HIV is a fragile virus and not transmitted that easily or in that way. Really.
You can always test at 13 weeks for your own peace of mind for yourself but I don't think your situation was a risky one from what you've described. I do think you're loaded with guilt and that is allowing your mind to go super crazeeeeeeee.
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jajaja . thanks, a little of humor makes me smile fora while. anyway, i know it's a remote possibility for me to be infected. but the saliva+blood really reached his 'blood' after passing my finger it was 'open' and removed the upper layer with it. anywsy, it's remote so i think in no way a doc. would prescribe pep for him. what if i do today or tomorrow morning a rapid test ?
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You weren't at risk. You don't need testing for the situation you stated above.
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You're not really listening to anything but your fears. There is no need for testing. Period. End of story.
There's no basis in HIV science for you to be concerned about this incident. And I'm betting if you indulge your fears by taking a rapid test (and of course testing negative), that you are still going to be wringing your hands.
What's going on is all about guilt and fears and not a virus.
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I think you're right tha the rapid test won't put to rest my fears...
Thank you Andy. I'll try to live my life.
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Good. And anytime you find yourself having a bout of anxiety as may happen from time to time, do the good deep and slow breathng in and out which I recommend. It's amazing how effective it can be helping you to get centered again.
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Andy: I really feel good now. Thank you for being so kindness, I think you know how to help people in this situations the right way and with the right words. Thank you.
Cheers
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Today I asked a doc. I know by phone of the situation, and explained eveything. He told me I should't be worried of my encounter, and if I want I can get tested for peace of mind. But about the incident with my son where I removed with a finger with saliva+blood the healed abrassion on my son and it bleeded again, he said that's a psossibility, and there I freaked again. He told me a small amount of blood can rise hiv levels in saliva very high if there's a lession that's constantly bleeding, and it's not common to reach open wounds in that case, but here it did..
So, for my own peace of mind I'm taking a HIV test. It should be neg, but because my son is involved the situation is killing me.
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today asked a doctor and told me it's a possible way of transmiting, it's not a common situation to remove healed lession with saliva+blood...
He also said about my hiv status should be neg. so I shoudn't be worried.
I'm going crazy
Does that look familiar?
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RapidRod:
I'm just a little concerned about something: a lot of people that, anonymously, says they tested + and always played safe sex, even a few times.
Why would they lie? Suppose tomorrow I test +, and I always used condoms and didn't break... you would say I lied?. That really frightens me, being told "NO RISK" but "all sexually active should test..." despite safe sex...
May be it's right to think its uncommon but it happens?
So it's not 100% safe, may be 99.9%? And that .1% is what happens under certain conditions? (high viral load, blood in secretions, others STDs, etc.)?
Documented transmission of hiv by bite has happened also... I'm a bit confused. ???
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People report all sorts of things about how they became infected. In my experience sometimes it's faulty memory (for a number of reasons). Sometimes it's shame about admitting to various acts. There are lots of different reasons for why they're not always accurate.
You're still searching for disinformation to feed your worst fears. What you've just written is riddled with what ifs and speculation, not a whit of it grounded in science.
You are allowing fear and your ignorance of HIV to rule. If we had any doubts about your situation we would have said so.
Without wanting to be disrespectful I will just say your fears are nonsense. Really. Seeing where your mind is hanging out just confirms that the inevitable negative test result maybe the only way you'll let go of this unwarranted concern. Hopefully that will do it for you.
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I'll cut & paste that comment into my PDA so I can read it anywhere when I'm going crazeeee!!!! 8), that will help me until I get tested and tell you what you already know.
Thank you Andy.
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That's a happy plan.
Cheers,
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Andy: More than a month since I posted. In the next days I'll take a hiv test (will be closed to 3 months after exposure).
I can't stop thinking about the encounter, and as I told you I was a little drunk, I want to share some details with you: I can remember I was always checking the condom was there. I can remember he stopped and took it off once and I told him "what are you doing?", and he told me it was unconfortable because it was enlarged and he wanted to change it, I asked if it was broken and he told me : "no, if it would be broken you should see it, try to inflate it if you want..." (I didn't).
After that all I can remember is I had a diarrhea about two weeks after that (3 days aprox., I remember because it was quite important).
hope everyhing will be ok...
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OK. None of the additional information you're mentioning changes my expectation that you will test negative for HIV.
For guilt I would say you'll test way positive so you need to work on getting that issue addressed and getting on with your life.
Good luck with your test result.
Cheers,
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Andy: is it common to change condoms if they're used for a long time?
and when you tell me "good luck with your tests results" I'm thinking: o sh... that means I need it?!!!
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The only reason I referred to your getting tested is because a few exchanges ago I raised it as a possibility simply to ease your mind -- not because I thought it otherwise necessary.
As for changing condoms, it sounds like you were with a responsible and experienced guy who is familiar with condom use. That should be reassuring to you rather than troubling. Of course you have driven yourself so crazy about this who issue that everything is just something more to worry about.
Properly worn a latex condom provides very effective protection and there shouldn't be any reason to change during a single episode unless the condom breaks. As your guy said to you when that happens it's very obvious. Happily it didn't happen during this incident. Once again I'll say you are worrying needlessly, suffering the after effect pangs of a straying dawg.
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Andy, I feel a little confused about the condom change. You said it doesn't need to be changed unless it breaks... so why did he changed it? That really freaks me... I'll have to take the test and I'm really scared. If he did cum inside would I have noticed it at the moment or later? As time goes by I'm asking myself more questions about that encounter...
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You're asking ME why your sex partner changed condoms? I haven't a clue. And you are spending way too much time and energy on going over every little bit of this incident. If you're asking would you have noticed if he had cum inside of you the answer is yes. You would have known it. And you would likely have been leaking some out of your anus afterwards.
Obviously you just keep chewing on the details of this incident, which is NEVER a good thing to be doing. You're planning to take an HIV test very shortly so you very little waiting time to get through. It will all go much easier if you get productively busy with other things in the meantime.
And I do expect you to test negative. Really.
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I took myself a few days before answering, and read again and again this thread and what I've been through, it doesn't make sense. I can remember I've been very careful that night and a month later I'm starting to ask myself about things that didn't happened. Thank you Andy for your patience, now it's time to test - I think everything will be ok - and then I'll try to know myself a little bit more before doing things I can't handle...
Your words and support every time I feel really bad, have been invaluable for me these days, really.
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Hi, I still didn't took the test, but I contacted him today again.
He told me: "Look, I already told you the condom did not broke, and I did a complete check including hiv about 3 weeks ago and everything ok, I can show it to you..."
That almost confirmed me I'm nuts...
Thank you Andy!
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Hi Andy and all!
I just did it again... ok, In fact I didn't :)
Just been in a little party and with a Sex Worker and...
1) I saw some (a lot may be) precum coming out from him.
2) he touched it with his fingers
3) he put on a condom touching it with his fingers in the outside
4) he touched my anus with his finger (no insert) for a few seconds
5) I did a oneminute blowjog with thw condom with possible precum
Note: That was yesterday. I have bad gums these days. Today I have a cold sore nead my lip in the inside (may be stomach).
Am I at risk?
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X,
You've been coming here since January - have you bothered to read the Transmission Lesson yet? It's linked to in the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0), which you should have read by now.
Please re-read your entire thread while you're at it. Our answers are not going to change.
Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body. You gave protected oral and protected is just that - protected. You didn't have a risk. I understand there may have been precum on the condom, but this precum was OUTSIDE the body before it was inside. Any virus present would have been damaged and unable to infect.
You didn't have a risk. While you do NOT need to test over this specific inciident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Let me remind you of the following posting guideline, found in Welcome thread you've been asked to read:
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Please consider yourself warned.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
Ann
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Ann:
I posted because I had another risk situation and I'm asking for help.
Of course there is a lot information in the welcome thread and online, but if it's enough with it, why this forum?
I think it's because every situation has it's own variables.
You know for instance, suppose a typical risk is 1/1000 (but with herpes and ulcerations will be more - even 3x times - , and without ejaculation could be less.
Add your experience and the info and the forum can be great helping people with their exposures or questions...
That's where your assistance can be helpful i think.
Anyway, about my NEW case I won't bother you anymore.
Regarding it, all I have to say about it is that I personally think my risk was close to zero.
I don't agree at all with "Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body.... Any virus present would have been damaged and unable to infect.".
That doesn't mean that infection won't happen if I take infected fluid outside the body and a few seconds later reaches mucosa of a uninfected person and some frotage is done with it...
My particular risk in remote I think in this new situation (as the other one was no risk until I started with the unsustentable "whatif's").
Regards, X-rat.
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I suggest that you move on x-rat. You were given the facts about HIV. It is not up to us to force you to believe anything. I do know for a fact you had better heed Ann's warning to you. She won't repeat herself.
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Guess what X, frottage isn't a risk, even when there's pre-cum present.
I understood you brought a new situation to us, but it is still another NO RISK situation. You've been coming here long enough to realise that yourself.
Ann
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Dear Andy and all, it seems I will need your support from now own.
December first week had sex with one sex worker and I wasn't sure with a lot of whatif's. COnfirmes, nothing happened and he was negative (found later).
Sometines one focus on what you shoudn't... a few days before that I had VERY BRIEF sex with another Sex Worker... (Yes, it was a very deppresive week)...
That time we used condoms, didn't ejaculate.. but he rimmed me and had a very brief receptive anal sex...
As I told you, about two weeks later I came down with diarrea, 3 oral ulcers and headache (didn't told about oral ulcers and headache) ... (no fever, no sore throat)...
On monday I found this one has AIDS and a lot of problemas including mouth problems (confirmed by him)... so the viral load in his saliva sure was very high... and my symptoms after that...
It's incredible...
My head is going back again and fears inclusive for my son health (On 1st Jan. I removed with my finger with saliva - I had a problem in my gums for three days - a abrasion )...
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Sometines one focus on what you shoudn't... a few days before that I had VERY BRIEF sex with another Sex Worker...
That time we used condoms, didn't ejaculate.. but he rimmed me and had a very brief receptive anal sex...
On monday I found this one has AIDS and a lot of problemas including mouth problems (confirmed by him)... so the viral load in his saliva sure was very high... and my symptoms after that...
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Understand two things, sweetie. You used a condom. And saliva is highly acidic: it's a digestive acid.
You are worrying needlessly.
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Bucko:
Thank you, I know the risk in "normal" situations will be close to zero.
But due to the facts it looks pretty bad...
Note: saliva is alcaline not acid (it's salty and has enzimes which helps deactivate hiv quite effectively when a few particles of hiv reaches your mouth) this case probably saliva had already high hiv load, as in many aids patients, kissing would not make one HIV if you have good oral higiene and saliva helps...
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X,
Re-read my reply to you in reply #25. If you keep posting over this no-risk incident, you'll be timed out.
Saliva isn't infectious, no matter what a person's viral load might be. You didn't have a risk. End of story.
Ann
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Ann: Your determination really helps here. Makes me think of me as a quite crazy persona. Thank you...
I'll be back in a few months may be... :)
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Look at this published case.
Mouth to anus hiv transmission.
http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/pagerender.fcgi?artid=1194884&pageindex=1
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::)
Look kid, there are two things you need to know about that report:
1. It's from 1992, so it's old and there has been subsequent research on the matter;
2. It refers to a "case", therefore anecdotal and the findings are heavily qualified.
As such the published case (it isn't research) you link to is irrelevant and has no bearing on the matters you have brought here previously.
MtD
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Maty.
Really I'm paralized and scared...
That's a symptom of my stupidity but I'm here now...
My life is a disaster last week.
And feel more stupid: afraid to test
Thank you...
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Seek professional mental help with your anxieties and phobias. You were never at risk and anything anyone says to you does not calculate in your head. You need to seek one on one help, not the Internet.
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Rat-
Whatever it is you've got it can't be HIV. In order to be infected for HIV one needs to have had a risk. You did not.
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I know that if I have doubts I'll have to test, what really surprises me is how determinant you are in saying no risk. We know he has AIDS, he is very thin and with oral problems, presence of blood in his saliva is very high possibility, and then entering my anus (wich is the most sensible HIV place for HIV to enter).... and then my symptoms 15 days after that episode...
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rat,
Unless you punched this guy in the mouth, making him bleed profusely before he rimmed you, there couldn't have been enough blood in his mouth to be a worry. Rimming IS NOT A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION!
Keep posting over this NO RISK incident and you'll be given a time out.
Ann
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Ann, Sorry but'm just worried if you're not looking at the whole picture.
Then he penetrated me (with condom) and that saliva entered my anus, and he had gum problems...
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Yes, yes, and none of that put you at risk for transmission. Really.
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Hope I'm wrong. Look at this: even prechewed food transmited HIV to babies...
"All three children were infected with HIV at a time they would have been teething and had inflamed gums. It may be that both a caregiver and a child must have wounds in their mouths for the virus to have a good chance of passing from one bloodstream to another, the investigators said."
Anal sex with saliva with someone with gum problemas would be more risky than that for sure!
one link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,329027,00.html
Just trying to understand and settle down for a while but evidence suggest it can happen even in less risky situations...
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Hope I'm wrong. Look at this: even prechewed food transmited HIV to babies...
"All three children were infected with HIV at a time they would have been teething and had inflamed gums. It may be that both a caregiver and a child must have wounds in their mouths for the virus to have a good chance of passing from one bloodstream to another, the investigators said."
Anal sex with saliva with someone with gum problemas would be more risky than that for sure!
one link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,329027,00.html
Just trying to understand and settle down for a while but evidence suggest it can happen even in less risky situations...
Fox News? That's it. I've had enough of this crap. You've been here for more than 6 months, you've posted 23 times, you've been told and told and warned and still you don't pay any attention.
I'm referring this thread to the Moderators for review.
MtD
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Matt, what source should be referenced so you can take it seriously or at least don't treat it like crap?
http://www.thebody.com/content/news/art45043.html
http://www.poz.com/articles/pre_chew_aids_1_13978.shtml
Just frightened about some conflicting info found, sorry for posting too much
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x,
You're not a little baby and your mother isn't chewing your food for you. At least I hope that's the case. The food-chewing situation is TOTALLY different to being rimmed by someone with meth mouth. Totally. Furthermore, that article represents a hypothesis, not solid fact.
I'm giving you that time out you've been repeatedly warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.
No, scratch that. In setting up your time out, I've discovered that you've already had an account here - lostnow (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=16348.0). I always catch you guys in the end.
You're permanently banned. We don't allow multiple accounts here and it is a bannable offense, which you should know by now.
Ann