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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: NY40PLUS on August 07, 2012, 12:08:28 pm

Title: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: NY40PLUS on August 07, 2012, 12:08:28 pm
I have heard from several (age 40+) HIV positive, "financially secure",  successful professional men (in many fields) that there are limited opportunities to meet for socializing, networking, and dating . So, I am hoping to form a group by having a first get together in midtown Manhattan in the month of September on a weeknight. There is no structure at present, we can figure it out together and if it is of interest , this can happen monthly. This is not going to be a "support group" in nature.

Please feel free to pass this email to your other HIV+ professional friends that  in the age 40 and up category that meet the criteria above, and hopefully we will have a good turn out. Contact me with your name, email address, and phone number and I will keep you informed.

My email is : NY40PLUS@aol.com


All best,

Ray





__._,_.___
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Ann on August 07, 2012, 01:39:58 pm
Ray, welcome to the forums.

I've moved your thread into the Living forum as that is the more appropriate place for your subject. The Off Topic forum is only for subjects that have nothing to do with hiv.

Good luck with your group.

Ann
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Buckmark on August 07, 2012, 06:46:18 pm
I have heard from several (age 40+) HIV positive, "financially secure",  successful professional men (in many fields) that there are limited opportunities to meet for socializing, networking, and dating . So, I am hoping to form a group by having a first get together in midtown Manhattan in the month of September on a weeknight. There is no structure at present, we can figure it out together and if it is of interest , this can happen monthly. This is not going to be a "support group" in nature.

Please feel free to pass this email to your other HIV+ professional friends that  in the age 40 and up category that meet the criteria above, and hopefully we will have a good turn out. Contact me with your name, email address, and phone number and I will keep you informed.

My email is : NY40PLUS@aol.com


All best,

Ray

Hi Ray,

Welcome to the forums.  I understand the desire to socialize with other pozzies.  I do wonder how you are going to "screen" participants to ensure they meet your qualifications.   It seems kinda limited and exclusive to me.  You might as well say "trolls and disability queens need not apply".

Certainly you are free to socialize with whomever you do / do not want to.  But you might want to keep a more open mind, or you might miss out on meeting some great people.

Regards,

Henry
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: mecch on August 07, 2012, 09:20:58 pm
Sorry NY40PLUS, I'm with Buckmark.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx.

Surely its not intentional but it'll insult many.

Have you posted already at the Harvard and Yale Clubs, Metropolitan?, Union?, I know, what about The Core Club, or Soho House to pick up a few hip types.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Miss Philicia on August 07, 2012, 10:13:25 pm

Surely its not intentional

How is it not intentional? It's glaringly obvious what is meant.

Trolls and disability queens need not apply.

Indeed -- will participants be submitting previous years income tax returns and stock portfolio statements?
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: mecch on August 08, 2012, 10:28:01 am
There is something very current events (have and have nots, and masquerade) about what is happening in this thread.  And timelessly American too.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7frBOMcnLp0

"Shell Oil?!"
"Please no names, just call me junior."

"This is my friend Daphne, she's a Vassar Girl. Or was it Bryn Mawr."

"I heard a very sad story of about a girl who went to Bryn Mawr. She squealed on her roommate and they found her strangled with her own brasierre."
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: weasel on August 08, 2012, 11:21:04 am


    I hope you have a great group with your kind , I myself  enjoy a multitude
  of peeps . You may find yourself with a room full of dullards .
    I would never screen my friends to find out if their assets came close to mine !
   
   
RUDE AND CRUDE ........., BRING TAX STATEMENTS AT EVERY MEETING ,  FAIRFIELD  , CONNECTICUT  BEACH STICKER  A PLUS !   


                                                 Good luck , Carl  :-X
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: WillyWump on August 08, 2012, 11:28:04 am
No thanks. and good luck with your Snobs Club.

-Will
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: anniebc on August 08, 2012, 05:37:02 pm
Come on guys give the man a break, you have to admit it's a great way of meeting a few "Sugar Daddies" to help you through life without actually having to work at looking after yourself...why do that when you can get a "financially secure",  successful professional men to do it for you.

Aroha
Jan :-*
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 08, 2012, 05:39:41 pm
Come on guys give the man a break, you have to admit it's a great way of meeting a few "Sugar Daddies" to help you through life without actually having to work at looking after yourself...why do that when you can get a "financially secure",  successful professional men to do it for you.

Aroha
Jan :-*

You're absolutely right, Jan.  After all, one has to find something to do once their life as a playboy is over.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: anniebc on August 08, 2012, 06:06:52 pm
You're absolutely right, Jan.  After all, one has to find something to do once their life as a playboy is over.

*LIKE*

Aroha
Jan :-*
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: NY40PLUS on August 13, 2012, 02:03:58 am
No need to engage your unkind remarks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria.  Bash me as much as you choose, I suppose if you wanted to form a group of HIV poz Native Americans and I wasn't one, I certainly wouldn't be offended.

No worries, I have received nearly 75 replies of people that want to be in this type of group.

And to the person that made the remark about disaibility, you are way out of line.  I have at least 5 guys on disability that are coming that understand what this group is for.   The other moronic remarks about the Harvard club, showing income tax returns,
And having so much free time are way out of line.  If you don't want to join, then just pass.   Stop with the cheap shots, we are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

Peace!
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: jkinatl2 on August 13, 2012, 02:11:04 am
No need to engage your unkind remarks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria.  Bash me as much as you choose, I suppose if you wanted to form a group of HIV poz Native Americans and I wasn't one, I certainly wouldn't be offended.

No worries, I have received nearly 75 replies of people that want to be in this type of group.

And to the person that made the remark about disaibility, you are way out of line.  I have at least 5 guys on disability that are coming that understand what this group is for.   The other moronic remarks about the Harvard club, showing income tax returns,
And having so much free time are way out of line.  If you don't want to join, then just pass.   Stop with the cheap shots, we are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

Peace!

True. But the means and manner in which we branch out into these sub groups also stands as a definition of character. You certainly took quite a chance with your choice of verbiage.

Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: NY40PLUS on August 13, 2012, 02:28:09 am
Great, help me to re-word it then for this website please.

Funny, on 2 other sites I received nothing but thank you for doing this and trying to fill a void in our community for those over 40 and are fortunate to be doing fine financially and wish to mix with similar people, several even volunteered to help with the arrangements as i organize on my own time and no compensation, haters take note.

My message on your site was the same I posted on others and received nothing but embraces and appreciation.  Here I got attacked with poisonous and venomous tyoe remarks which is the exact opposite of the type of people I would want to meet.

What are all of YOU doing in your community to engage poz social groups on an individual basis?   I really would like to know, especially since most of you have decided who I am and what my agenda is without even talking to me. That shows limited responsibility to back your remarks.

I am due an apology but I don't see that coming from the hostile readers on this board.

Yours in HIV, bad and good times....


 u all should ask questions first before pulling the trigger,
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: mecch on August 13, 2012, 08:44:45 am
For HIV+ people, I host:

- monthly orgy for HIV+ men who are hung and have toned bodies. Age limit 45 and no Hep C. I felt some responsibility to host a bareback soiree for this group so everyone can just relax and have a good time with their preferred kind of partner. No stress, no rejection.  I've posted this on several forums and received many thanks and there's a waiting list of over 30,000 names now. I'm over 45 but as the host of course I am welcome at my own party, which I organise entirely on my own, though the maid comes the next day to clean up. (Not my normal lady, but a cute gay cleaning boy working his way through college.)

- monthly book club for HIV+ women and men. We've found PhDs in comparative literature participate the best, although the club is in principal open to anyone. There are a few B.A.s who come, knowing who the club is really for, so they sit quietly and nobody really minds.  Everyone is welcome! (I don't have a PhD in complit but I can talk the talk, and after all, I'm the host.)

- a picnic each summer and a winter holiday trim-a-tree party for the political asylum community with HIV. They are mostly muslim and don't go much in for the ribs at the picnic, yet we receive nothing but embraces and appreciation at these events and its really the least one can do to give back, don't you think.

- Private investors' Suze Orman cocktail hour. This bi-monthly event is open to HIV+ men and women of any age who are fortunate enough to have sufficient assets to be assigned a personal banker at one of the major Swiss private banks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria. We found a good demand for this group in both Geneva and Zurich, and even some members from Basel.  We meet at a member's home, drink cocktails, watch Suze Orman and discuss the sad, surprising and often funny little dramas of the working poor.  Suze always has a few great zingers!  Sure we've got HIV but at least we don't have money problems! Some of us reminisce about when we were poor. And we support each other about dealing with poor members of the family, since that is so complicated. A few people who come don't have personal bankers but they know who the group is for, and I think some of them used to have personal bankers, or aspire to, so everyone gets on fine as long as they play nice. Everyone is welcome!

We are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

I encourage everyone to be inspired by NY50PLUS and moimeme and host your own wonderful events for underserved groups in the HIV+ community.

Yours in HIV, bad and good times....
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: wolfter on August 13, 2012, 09:40:52 am
Just curious what happens when your status changes from "financially secure" to "Suffering the ravages of HIV"?  Would I be kicked out of the exclusive club? 

My deceased partner was an executive in charge of purchasing for a large hospital chain and I was a federal budget analyst at an air base and we lived a fabulous "lifestyle", but am now resigned to living on disability because the AIDSY thing destroyed my cognitive abilities. Would I qualify based on previous fabulousness?

I will apologize if you don't fathom why there is some outrage in the manner and wording of your post.  I won't apologize for not wanting to be a part of a group who needs a paradigm shift.

Wolfie

Also, thanks for the comment Jan.  You always make me smile with your well thought out and caring comments.  If you know any hot sugar daddy types, you have my permission to give them my contact info. :D
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Buckmark on August 13, 2012, 10:45:36 am
No need to engage your unkind remarks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria.  Bash me as much as you choose, I suppose if you wanted to form a group of HIV poz Native Americans and I wasn't one, I certainly wouldn't be offended.

No worries, I have received nearly 75 replies of people that want to be in this type of group.

And to the person that made the remark about disaibility, you are way out of line.  I have at least 5 guys on disability that are coming that understand what this group is for.   The other moronic remarks about the Harvard club, showing income tax returns,
And having so much free time are way out of line.  If you don't want to join, then just pass.   Stop with the cheap shots, we are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

Peace!

I'm the guy who made the remark about disability.  Re-reading my remarks, I still stand behind them.  I can appreciate the idea of a group for pozzies who are over 40.  But age isn't the issue here.  I just don't understand what will constitute "financially secure" and "successful" for your group.  I don't know many on disability who feel all that secure.  And when you're positive (and even if you're not), one serious illness can destroy one's "financially secure" position.  I would be curious as to what web sites you received a more favorable response from.

All in all, you haven't provided a great deal of details.  But from the little information you provided, it seems to me that you are branching out into subgroups based on "haves" and "have nots".  I've come to learn that the line between those can be perilously thin.  Maybe you could clarify the purposes and intents of your group and its members, and we'd understand a bit better.

Regards,

Henry
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: thunter34 on August 13, 2012, 01:54:09 pm
What are all of YOU doing in your community to engage poz social groups on an individual basis? 

Honestly, not a damn thing since I couldn't afford to host a room full of people with a spread of grape soda and cheeze crackers.

I get my in-person poz social interaction by way of AMG every couple of years if I'm lucky enough to get to go.  Otherwise, it's pretty much here.  If I could create such a group, the last thing I would ever try to do is throw up yet one more barrier to block out a part of the community based on finances.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Common_ground on August 13, 2012, 02:43:36 pm
Great initiative.

Even thou I'm not in NY or fit the criteria for the group I have to say I am saddened to see the bitterness among the replies. You cant allow other people their success and let them have this?

I have struggled with drug and alcohol abuse and Im no way near financially secure and will probably never be. Still Im glad to see there are poz people actually thriving in this society.

 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Jeff G on August 13, 2012, 02:49:58 pm
NY40Plus , Its insensitive to post what you did in a forum where more than a few of us barely get by and struggle financially . If I were you I wouldn't be expecting an apology anytime soon . It really is just this simple . 

Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: spacebarsux on August 13, 2012, 04:47:34 pm
Great initiative.

Even thou I'm not in NY or fit the criteria for the group I have to say I am saddened to see the bitterness among the replies. You cant allow other people their success and let them have this?

I have struggled with drug and alcohol abuse and Im no way near financially secure and will probably never be. Still Im glad to see there are poz people actually thriving in this society.

Wow. Do you genuinely believe the responses are a result of 'bitterness' over other poz people 'thriving in society' ?  ::)

I maybe mistaken, but if I correctly recall, I think you stated somewhere that you're from an Asian country but presently living in the US or in Europe. Is that correct? Then, I guess you should have no bitter feelings if certain people decide to exclude you from social groups and settings based on your ethnicity- something you can’t change. Inaccurate analogy perhaps, but the same principle.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Miss Philicia on August 13, 2012, 04:52:24 pm
Imagine an HIV support group that clearly stated it was for anyone except those with Kaposi Sarcoma, lipodystrophy or PCP. Oh, and cd4 count must be in excess of 487 (current documentation required).
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 13, 2012, 04:56:22 pm
Hoity Toity to you too.

I'm starting an HIV Billionaire's Boys Club.

You do have a right to form such a group.  When you get there you will realize that it's most likely gonna be a group of guys in their 60s and 70s.  So then you will have to change it to a group for guys that are from 40 to 50 and the two members won't like each other. 

The only 2 good things I can see about your group is that you are not looking for 18 year old twinks, and are trying to avoid guys looking for sugar daddies. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Common_ground on August 13, 2012, 05:33:19 pm
Wow. Do you genuinely believe the responses are a result of 'bitterness' over other poz people 'thriving in society' ?  ::)

I maybe mistaken, but if I correctly recall, I think you stated somewhere that you're from an Asian country but presently living in the US or in Europe. Is that correct? Then, I guess you should have no bitter feelings if certain people decide to exclude you from social groups and settings based on your ethnicity- something you can’t change. Inaccurate analogy perhaps, but the same principle.

Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 13, 2012, 05:45:00 pm
Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

I'm just curious why you feel that you have something to contribute to the topic of this thread since you are feeling that what Space said wasn't proper.  After all, you are not a member of the specific group of people the OP addressed this thread to...

Great initiative.

Even thou I'm not in NY or fit the criteria for the group

Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: thunter34 on August 13, 2012, 05:55:06 pm
Does having reliable monthly payments for food stamps and disability qualify as financial stability?
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Common_ground on August 13, 2012, 06:08:27 pm
I'm just curious why you feel that you have something to contribute to the topic of this thread since you are feeling that what Space said wasn't proper.  After all, you are not a member of the specific group of people the OP addressed this thread to...

Cuz I liked the idea of the group.
How many of the others in this thread do you think "qualify"? Aint seeing anyone questioning their right to post here.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Buckmark on August 13, 2012, 06:14:47 pm
Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

I'd say spacebarsux has made his point well.  It is insensitive to use certain criteria like financial success to form a social group of HIVers, that already receives enough stigma as it is. Unless you have been living under a rock, it is well known that many HIVers have financial challenges due to the strain of medical expenses combined with complications due to HIV.  That would be true for any chronic disease.  That doesn't mean you are not within your rights to form your group.  It just means that you are insensitive.

I'm amazed at how NYPLUS40 and his supporters interpret the responses from those who disagree with them as being from people who are bitter.   I guess that, to you, us dissenters are a bunch of poor folks who are jealous of you and your financial success?  That would be condescending, in so many ways.

Rather, our responses just indicate that what you are doing is terribly insensitive, and wrong.  Again, that doesn't mean you can't go forward and do it.  But I'm going to speak out when I see actions that I think are insensitive, and divisive to pozzies in a harmful way.


Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 13, 2012, 06:20:20 pm
Cuz I liked the idea of the group.
How many of the others in this thread do you think "qualify"? Aint seeing anyone questioning their right to post here.

Fine that you like what's being proposed by the OP.  What's not so fine is that you seem to be somewhat sensitive and that's what I was commenting on.

Remember that it was you who said that Space was picking on you and where you were from and also that I was questioning your right to post on this thread.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Common_ground on August 13, 2012, 07:00:18 pm
I'd say spacebarsux has made his point well.  It is insensitive to use certain criteria like financial success to form a social group of HIVers, that already receives enough stigma as it is. Unless you have been living under a rock, it is well known that many HIVers have financial challenges due to the strain of medical expenses combined with complications due to HIV.  That would be true for any chronic disease.  That doesn't mean you are not within your rights to form your group.  It just means that you are insensitive.

I'm amazed at how NYPLUS40 and his supporters interpret the responses from those who disagree with them as being from people who are bitter.   I guess that, to you, us dissenters are a bunch of poor folks who are jealous of you and your financial success?  That would be condescending, in so many ways.

Rather, our responses just indicate that we what you are doing is terribly insensitive, and wrong.  Again, that doesn't mean you can't go forward and do it.  But I'm going to speak out when I see actions that I think are insensitive, and divisive to pozzies in a harmful way.



We live 2 ppl in a rented 26sqm cubicle without kitchen and hot water.  I have no assets but a debt of 50k USD and struggle to finish my degree. I fight alcohol dependency and drug addiction daily. You talk about living under a rock? Well its not far from I can tell ya. If I didnt have my gf I would have ended this tragic farce already. Still I wont take away what the OP wants to accomplish.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 13, 2012, 07:05:19 pm

Rather, our responses just indicate that we[/b] what you are doing is terribly insensitive, and wrong.  Again, that doesn't mean you can't go forward and do it.  But I'm going to speak out when I see actions that I think are insensitive, and divisive to pozzies in a harmful way.

Freudian slip?  I think criticizing him is insensitive too. 

How many of us struggling to get by have lawyers and doctors beating our doors down to date us? 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: weasel on August 13, 2012, 07:06:29 pm
For HIV+ people, I host:

- monthly orgy for HIV+ men who are hung and have toned bodies. Age limit 45 and no Hep C. I felt some responsibility to host a bareback soiree for this group so everyone can just relax and have a good time with their preferred kind of partner. No stress, no rejection.  I've posted this on several forums and received many thanks and there's a waiting list of over 30,000 names now. I'm over 45 but as the host of course I am welcome at my own party, which I organise entirely on my own, though the maid comes the next day to clean up. (Not my normal lady, but a cute gay cleaning boy working his way through college.)

- monthly book club for HIV+ women and men. We've found PhDs in comparative literature participate the best, although the club is in principal open to anyone. There are a few B.A.s who come, knowing who the club is really for, so they sit quietly and nobody really minds.  Everyone is welcome! (I don't have a PhD in complit but I can talk the talk, and after all, I'm the host.)

- a picnic each summer and a winter holiday trim-a-tree party for the political asylum community with HIV. They are mostly muslim and don't go much in for the ribs at the picnic, yet we receive nothing but embraces and appreciation at these events and its really the least one can do to give back, don't you think.

- Private investors' Suze Orman cocktail hour. This bi-monthly event is open to HIV+ men and women of any age who are fortunate enough to have sufficient assets to be assigned a personal banker at one of the major Swiss private banks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria. We found a good demand for this group in both Geneva and Zurich, and even some members from Basel.  We meet at a member's home, drink cocktails, watch Suze Orman and discuss the sad, surprising and often funny little dramas of the working poor.  Suze always has a few great zingers!  Sure we've got HIV but at least we don't have money problems! Some of us reminisce about when we were poor. And we support each other about dealing with poor members of the family, since that is so complicated. A few people who come don't have personal bankers but they know who the group is for, and I think some of them used to have personal bankers, or aspire to, so everyone gets on fine as long as they play nice. Everyone is welcome!

We are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

I encourage everyone to be inspired by NY50PLUS and moimeme and host your own wonderful events for underserved groups in the HIV+ community.

Yours in HIV, bad and good times....

   I truly hope to attend your  group when I travel upon the liner this autumn .
                                                                              Your HIV Friend & Pal 
                                                                                          Sir Weasel
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Miss Philicia on August 13, 2012, 07:10:10 pm

How many of us struggling to get by have lawyers and doctors beating our doors down to date us? 

There is a lawyer in my support group that would jump at the chance to bag me.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 13, 2012, 07:13:05 pm

How many of us struggling to get by have lawyers and doctors beating our doors down to date us?

There are two people on this very thead who have degrees in law  :o
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: wolfter on August 13, 2012, 07:15:10 pm
Does the OP even realize why it's so difficult to find anyone 40 and over to date in the first place?  We lost a large segment of this group and now he wishes to narrow the field even further.....priceless.

Modified to add:  You want to read success stories?  Pop over to the LTS thread to read some of those stories.  That's true success!!!!! 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: denb45 on August 13, 2012, 07:17:30 pm
 To the OP ,Definitely NOT a place I would want to be a part of, I like people from all walks of life, and don't give 2 shits about there tax return, how much money the make, or anything else for that matter  ::)

Oh and good luck that, cuz your gonna need it   ???



Hugs

DEN
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 13, 2012, 07:35:19 pm
To the OP ,Definitely NOT a place I would want to be a part of, I like people from all walks of life, and don't give 2 shits about there tax return, how much money the make, or anything else for that matter  ::)

Oh and good luck that, cuz your gonna need it   ???



Hugs

DEN

I agree, I take care of myself and if you can take care of yourself we are a potential match.  I don't need your money and you can't have mine.

Sadly in our community most people want to date younger, better looking, and richer than they are. 

but I can't begrudge the OP because I am not his "type".  Because that would make me  insensitive to what he feels he needs. 

His purpose was not to insult anyone, but I think this may not be the right place to find too many members for his group.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: phildinftlaudy on August 13, 2012, 07:35:47 pm
Okay... I'll take the bait and bite (wouldn't be the first time...)

The OP said to ask questions, so questions I will ask:

1) What is the definition of "financially secure?"
2) What is the purpose of having a "professionals group" specifically for the defined "financially secure?" The goals? The mission? The vision? The hoped outcomes? The points of conversation?

Some things in my life I have learned (having "financial stability," losing "financial stability," and regaining some semblance of "financial security") is:

The true definition of a successful person is what they have left after they lose everything...

and

Financial security can be the person who has a dollar but spends it wisely and is happy..... whereas the person who has a million dollars and spends it frivolously wouldn't be very fiancially secure IMHO...

There are some people who have a million dollars and look and act like they have $10 - and others who have $10, but look, act, and feel like they are millionaires...

Also, how do we define "professional" ---- there are many a so-called professional person out there who are anything but professional --- and many who others might define as non-professional who far better meet the definition of a professional...

Finally, minds are like parachutes - they function only when open ---- exclusion and singularity would lead to a pretty stagnant society....

I'll be interested in reading the response to the questions posed at the beginning of my post....
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 13, 2012, 07:41:57 pm
I dated a guy who I think didn't want to date me because I could not lavish expensive gifts on him, but maybe there were other reasons, I don't know.   He's not a bad person, in fact he's a great guy, he just has different views in life and may have some shit to figure out, as I do. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 13, 2012, 07:47:43 pm

Financial security can be the person who has a dollar but spends it wisely and is happy..... whereas the person who has a million dollars and spends it frivolously wouldn't be very fiancially secure IMHO...

There are some people who have a million dollars and look and act like they have $10 - and others who have $10, but look, act, and feel like they are millionaires...



There are multi millionaires who are miserable because they are chasing the next hundred million.  It's money that they don't need and they will die with that money in the bank, but it's just an unreasonable greed. 

I would love to have millions of dollars but I don't and probably never will.   Wealth is just extra freedom to do things that you can't normally do.  A person who was miserable before they got rich will never be happy.  Then if you get too rich you get jaded, forget where you came from, think that you are better than everyone else and take everything for granted.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: wolfter on August 13, 2012, 07:50:25 pm


Sadly in our community most people want to date younger, better looking, and richer than they are. 

Me thinks you need to find a different group of gays to hang out with as you have a warped vission of what "MOST" mature gay men want. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 13, 2012, 07:51:57 pm
Me thinks you need to find a different group of gays to hang out with as you have a warped vission of what "MOST" mature gay men want.

I'm sure your group is looking for older, uglier, broke guys.   ::)
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: thunter34 on August 13, 2012, 08:01:27 pm
I'm sure your group is looking for older, uglier, broke guys.   ::)

Or perhaps just an older hot crowd.

Myself, I like 'em broke and desperate.  Much easire to manipulate into the sack that way.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: denb45 on August 13, 2012, 08:07:54 pm
Trolls and disability queens need not apply.

so says miss pee pee  ;D


Hugs

DEN
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 13, 2012, 08:10:47 pm
Well I started out my life trying to find a better way to live in this world from day to day (http://youtu.be/6CMaoaFyTxI)
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Jeff G on August 13, 2012, 08:11:01 pm
NY40plus has posted 3 times on this site and his only motivation to come here was to troll for over 40 rich fags to form a group ... and yet he is being defended by a few that fail to see why this is an insensitive poor choice on his part , that's pretty friggin rich in its self .

This is a support forum , not a support me forum .   
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: denb45 on August 13, 2012, 08:14:25 pm
AMEN! Brother Jeff..and thank you Phil.............dam I love you guys  :-*
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 13, 2012, 08:15:17 pm
and yet he is being defended by a few that fail to see why this is an insensitive poor choice on his part ,

Waaaah, you're too sensitive.  Just wait until the revised 40+ HIV rich professional group rules include no fats no fems. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: denb45 on August 13, 2012, 08:27:06 pm
Waaaah, you're too sensitive.  Just wait until the revised 40+ HIV rich professional group rules include no fats no fems.

Hey now, now what do you have against a man in a dress, I like men who wear dresses, easier to get at the goods , and some of my past BFs were very FEM ,and I LIKE BEARS and they happen to LOVE ME, if you must know...


Hugs

DEN
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: wolfter on August 13, 2012, 08:35:31 pm
I'm sure your group is looking for older, uglier, broke guys.   ::)

       How about; age appropriate, a physcal attraction, and self sufficient?   :o
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: spacebarsux on August 14, 2012, 01:29:53 am
Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

I was trying to make you see a point pertinent to the discussion in this thread mate; it wasn't an attempt to disparage you or your background. Seems like the point has been missed by a country mile though. Never mind.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Buckmark on August 14, 2012, 10:25:00 am
Let's look at this from a slightly different perspective.  Would you start a social club for people living with other serious diseases, that are only for members who are also financially successful?  For example, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, lupus, Hep C?  Do you see any example of such groups?
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 14, 2012, 11:45:45 am
Let's look at this from a slightly different perspective.  Would you start a social club for people living with other serious diseases, that are only for members who are also financially successful?  For example, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, lupus, Hep C?  Do you see any example of such groups?
What about a group of people comparing apples and oranges.   ::)
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: denb45 on August 14, 2012, 12:33:13 pm
I think it is so wrong to exclude others based on being "financially secure" I'm sorry but, that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, what about those of us who are already retired, isn't that a little Vague..... not only that but, it's also like excluding others due to their race  ::)
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Buckmark on August 14, 2012, 12:36:52 pm
What about a group of people comparing apples and oranges.   ::)

Only if they are financially successful.   :P

Tell me, what's so different that the comparison is invalid, in your opinion?
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 14, 2012, 12:57:49 pm
I think it is so wrong to exclude others based on being "financially secure" I'm sorry but, that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, what about those of us who are already retired, isn't that a little Vague..... not only that but, it's also like excluding others due to their race  ::)

Sometimes broke people don't even want to date other broke people.  It's about your own self worth and dignity.  Why would you want to join a club that doesn't want you?  People exclude others for many reasons, we make snap judgments on a subconscious level whenever we meet people.   

To equate it to race is insulting to all races.  You can change your financial status and choose to be with whatever class you want to, you can never change your race. 

I don't understand why people are so upset that a professional HIV person seeks same for a social group.   You can't fit into all groups, don't be a hypocrite about it.   It's his preference and you have the right to yours and you should not be insulted by his.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on August 14, 2012, 01:01:54 pm
What about a group of people comparing apples and oranges.   ::)

Is that anything like a group of old poz queens in a support group gravitating towards all the hot, new, younger attendees?
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 14, 2012, 01:13:14 pm
Is that anything like a group of old poz queens in a support group gravitating towards all the hot, new, younger attendees?

That's it exactly. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 14, 2012, 01:16:43 pm
Only if they are financially successful.   :P

Tell me, what's so different that the comparison is invalid, in your opinion?

Because those are degenerative diseases and for the time being for many people HIV is just something they have where they can keep the virus to near undetectable levels.  And if any of those groups wanted to find people in their same situation there would be nothing wrong with it anyway. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: leatherman on August 14, 2012, 02:09:55 pm
You can change your financial status and choose to be with whatever class you want to,
LOL totally off-topic; but I'd love you to start up another thread and tell us the miracle secret that makes that statement true. :D  ;D

I don't understand why people are so upset that a professional HIV person seeks same for a social group.   
as much as I (and others that have posted here) would like to find an LTS-only group, I don't particularly see the problem either. I have seen all sorts of other social/support groups formed that I wouldn't fit into and I don't have an issue with it. My ASO hosts a black-only male-only MSM-only group that I don't fit into; there's also an addiction-recovery group that I don't fit into; and there's a women-only group I don't fit into. To be honest, I wouldn't fit into a 40+ professional group either. And yet I don't feel excluded from any of those groups, even though technically I am.

Case in point, being an 50 yr old ex-professional, formerly "financially secure" now in poverty on disability (damn that issue of having teh AIDS, it sure changed my financial standing ;) ), I don't have anything in common with the OP's kind of group - except for the HIV virus - and would never join nor feel excluded from it. Not to mention that I don't live in NY. LOL Of course, there are so many more positive people in NY, so they might very well be able to splinter themselves off into smaller groups more easily than say here in upper SC where there are less that 500 positive people spread across three counties. I think there may only be 2 people that fit the OP's qualifications here, so a group like that just wouldn't fly. However as over 45% of our ASO clients are black MSM men (unemployed or on disability by the way) it makes more sense for a local social group to have those requirements instead.

Of course, limiting yourself to only a subsection (40+ professionals or LTSes or women or blacks) of such a tiny group of people (pozzies out enough to be in a social group in the first place) will limit the experiences and knowledge brought to such a gathering; but sometimes those are the voices you want to hear because of the shared experiences and knowledge.
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: mecch on August 14, 2012, 08:13:24 pm
Its the OP's galling surety of the definitions of these labels - "professional", "financially secure".  The invitation/announcement, and followup defensive posts, hint at delusion of some kind.

I don't think anyone has a problem with the way social groups can end up being rather cohesive, so who cares if a bunch of middle aged dudes (hey are professional HIV+ women welcome?) with jobs and self-definitions of "security" or "professional" end up hanging out because they have things in common and enjoy each other. 

Its really the ickiness of the announcement, not the idea of the final group, which will just be a bunch of normal humans like the rest of us, doing their best to live life.

For what its worth, I learned that "professional" originally refers to the "professions" which were:  doctor, lawyer, engineer and teacher.  Bankers were not considered professionals.  Everything changed in the 80's though when YUPPIE allowed all people with either money or aspirational lifestyles to self identify as young, urban and "professional". 



Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Since2005 on August 14, 2012, 09:07:58 pm
Do you qualify and like the group? Yes -> Join the group
You do not qualify and/or don't like the group? Yes - > Don't join the group

If someone is willing to form a group of people who are " HIV+, professional, financially secured, and over 40" then good for him/her if thats what he/she wants

If someone is going to form a group that consists of "HIV+ people who are not financially secured, age less than 40" that would be his/her choice to do so.

Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: NY2011 on August 14, 2012, 11:25:38 pm
Agreed. 

Snarky sells on the internet, though, and several people here seem to be poised to "one up" each other all the freakin time with the comments.  It's no surprise that someone wants to limit a social group to what he thinks may be like-minded individuals for friendship and/or romantic possibilities.  There's nothing wrong with that. I encounter people all day long that may be genuinely good people, but if I've got nothing in common with them, then there's no interest, or point, in social interaction.

No need to disect or attack a person's interest in organizing something social. Let it be. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: Miss Philicia on August 14, 2012, 11:34:01 pm
Great, help me to re-word it then for this website please.

Funny, on 2 other sites I received nothing but thank you for doing this and trying to fill a void in our community for those over 40 and are fortunate to be doing fine financially and wish to mix with similar people, several even volunteered to help with the arrangements as i organize on my own time and no compensation, haters take note.

My message on your site was the same I posted on others and received nothing but embraces and appreciation.  Here I got attacked with poisonous and venomous tyoe remarks which is the exact opposite of the type of people I would want to meet.

What are all of YOU doing in your community to engage poz social groups on an individual basis?   I really would like to know, especially since most of you have decided who I am and what my agenda is without even talking to me. That shows limited responsibility to back your remarks.

I am due an apology but I don't see that coming from the hostile readers on this board.

Yours in HIV, bad and good times....


 u all should ask questions first before pulling the trigger,

Actually no, you received quite a bit of negative feedback on the SIN-NYC (Strength-in-Numbers) yahoo group where you posted the same message.

The following appeared from the moderator at 1:32 PM EST today:

Quote
What's up guys! Thanks to everyone who posted in what turned out to be a
spirited discussion, and voiced their opinions in such a civil manner. Way to
go! However, this is going to be the last message regarding the posting that
turned out to be so controversial, and no more will be approved.

Again, I need to step up since I approved the original message. Could I have
asked him to reword the message so as to be more palatable? Indeed. However, I
don't think the end result would have been any different. As has been stated,
SIN is a diverse group, and if this type of group fills a need that is otherwise
not being met, so be it. We all have the choice as to whether to join or not, or
to voice our opinions regarding it.

As for the mission of SIN, perhaps it needs to be revised. It seems to me that
SIN has not solely been an HIV education and awareness support group, but also a
social networking group where poz guys like me have developed and cultivated
friendships that will hopefully last a lifetime. And quite honestly, it's also
been a venue for guys to date and find romance. Hopefully, SIN will continue to
remain a haven of mutual support and respect, despite our disagreements. I for
one, would like for all of this to continue.

Enjoy the rest of your summer guys! I'll post on the board and the calendar the
dates for the UB2's and Board Game Days. Have a good one!
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: anmlvrnyc on August 19, 2012, 02:58:40 pm
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty. If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.



Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: thunter34 on August 19, 2012, 03:19:53 pm
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty. If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.


*sigh*   ::)
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: bocker3 on August 19, 2012, 04:22:51 pm
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty. If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.

And this post is supportive in what way??  Oh right, I am superior to you all.  Kettle -- meet pot!!

Actually, if you took the time to really look at this forum you would find that, while we may snipe, rib and sometimes brawl -- when the chips are down folks come through.  It really is like a big, somewhat dysfunctional, family here.  One that has gotten me through hard time both in public posts and through the PMs.
So -- it's easy to make a blanket generalization after a week here -- then pop back to actually make 1 post, however, you really haven't given yourself the opportunity to get to know folks on here.
I hope you find your perfect support group somewhere -- the one with nary an unkind word.  Me thinks, however, you will be sorely disappointed in this quest.

Mike
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: anniebc on August 19, 2012, 04:31:22 pm

Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.

I'm Sorry anmlvrnyc but you seemed to have spent a lot of negative energy just writing this post, and as a first post it's really not going to endear you to any of the members here.

If you take the time and read the posts in "Living With", "I just tested Positve" plus a few of the other forums I think you will find there are more supportive posts written by the members than there are ones about arguing who is right and who is wrong...take your time and read them, then come back and talk to us about positive energy.

Jan
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: LiveWithIt on August 19, 2012, 04:50:47 pm
If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.


When the table gets shaky take your cup off the table, or get yourself a travel mug. 
Title: Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
Post by: mecch on August 19, 2012, 07:49:33 pm
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. 1) You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty.  2) If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.

Let me get this straight.  Someone posts something that I see is at least insensitive and maybe flat out "wrong".  And express my opinion why. And that is wrong, according to you.  Or is it just the "nasty" component of the disagreement that scares and bugs you.  Well I would agree with your point 1, nobody really likes to witness nastiness.

I think you immediately show your hand with number 2), which is contradictory to your first point. Because it seems you finally don't want to read any contentious opinions.  Just a "love-in". 

Well I felt little love in the OP's invitation.  And as Miss P points out, there's some delusion on the OP's part about the reception it has received elsewhere, as well.   

Maybe the response here will make the OP think a bit about the way he expresses himself.  Maybe not.  He can create any kind of group he wants its a free world.  I think everyone in this thread responding is either not in New York or doesn't qualify for membership, so what's it to him if he hears negative feedback on his invitation.  Its a free world.  Any NYer loving the idea of that group will join it, and never know about this thread anyway.  So where's the harm?  And where would be the harm if someone did actually read it.  For all I care, he can have his group and have a "meta" discussion about their rules of membership.  That might be good.