Author Topic: Whores' Blossoms and Other Things (Read 9064 times)

Matty the Damned · « **on:** July 10, 2007, 08:55:23 pm »

Dear Economy Class Passengers,

The electric telephone is a wonderful invention. This very morning, as Matty the Damned was finishing his breakfast mojito (the rum warms him in the winter amongst other places), he used it to call the galleon chested Frau Eva with a view to enquiring after his latest blood test results.

And as chance would have it (or maybe the clinic facsimile machine) they had arrived.

As always a little perspective is in order. My results from April this year:

VL: <40 therefore undetectable
CD4 absolute: 144
CD4 %: 12

The most recent (July):

VL: <40 therefore undetectable
CD4 absolute: 120
CD4%: Unknown (to be advised)

This means a couple of things. Firstly, the Frau and I agree that even in the absence of a percentage the CD4 result indicates no real change. Coupled with a second consecutive undetectable VL this means I can finally jettison the hateful AZT component of my regimen!

Fuck off Trizivir, welcome Kivexa!

In other news, I'm antibody positive for Herpes Simplex Virus Types 1 and 2 and now officially have the butt-herpes. Also, my cholesterol is a bit high at 5.8 and my triglycerides are WAY high at 5.5.

Whilst talking to the Frau, I took the opportunity to ask after Nervous Indian Student. Some of you may recall he had something of a baptism of fire in that dark font I like to call my bunghole.

MtD: Oh I was wondering, how is NIS doing?
Eva: Ever since last Monday he's been considering pursuing gynaecology as a specialty.
MtD: No doubt. Has he asked after me?
Eva: Not really. When ever we mention you, he starts to sweat and has to sit down.

No sinew at all these young doctors. Where do they find them?

Toodles!

MtD

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #1 on:** July 10, 2007, 09:14:57 pm »

My Dearest Matty,

I thought I would respond before twisting one up since your health is of great concern to me. I am sorry to hear about your butt herpes. What does Frau have in mind? Is there any remedy or relief to be had? Congrats on giving the azt the boot and moving on to what must be better meds.

As far as the NIS goes, I think it's funny as hell that he now wants to be a gyn. And I told you that they would have conversations about you after that last appointment...Stop scaring the staff, man....

Fondly,
Queenie

RapidRod · « **Reply #2 on:** July 10, 2007, 09:15:37 pm »

Great news Matty, but my stomach is hurting from laughing about the NIH student. You're a trip. How's the B/P is it coming down? HSV 1 and 2. You were always one to go all the way.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #3 on:** July 10, 2007, 09:32:33 pm »

Yairs, poor old NIS. Who would have thought that Matty the Damned's Dark Hole was so much scarier than the Black Hole of Calcutta?

The BP still sucks horribly. Todays reading stands at 159/117. Substantially lower though. I'll chase up a permanent solution with my GP Lady Jane next week. As for the whores' blossoms, I have some Valtrex on standby for that and Lady Jane will issue an authority prescription should I need one.

It's nice that my mangina is such a conversation starter (or stopper, as the case may be) not just here in Boolaboolabongbong, but all over the world.

MtD

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #4 on:** July 10, 2007, 09:35:04 pm »

It's my duty to check that booty.....

(who only does it for her "peeps")

RapidRod · « **Reply #5 on:** July 10, 2007, 09:38:30 pm »

Matty on the subject of mojito. Have you seen the commercial of the guy smashing the lime in the glass and he stops and everyone stops dancing? Now that is my type of guy. He could cause me to start drinking again.

scud44 · « **Reply #6 on:** July 10, 2007, 10:30:57 pm »

Dear Matty,
I was pleased to see that your BP had dropped to a more liveable level.

I was also pleased that NIS hasn't given up medicine altogether - just male patients!

Good luck over there from Tassie

Regards
Scud44

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #7 on:** July 10, 2007, 10:45:29 pm »

Quote from: RapidRod on July 10, 2007, 09:38:30 pm

Matty on the subject of mojito. Have you seen the commercial of the guy smashing the lime in the glass and he stops and everyone stops dancing? Now that is my type of guy. He could cause me to start drinking again.

Loves that commercial...I think the music does it for me....

RapidRod · « **Reply #8 on:** July 10, 2007, 11:05:49 pm »

Right Queen, it's the music.

Ann · « **Reply #9 on:** July 11, 2007, 05:56:53 am »

Types 1 and 2?

~tsk tsk tsk~

Such a greedy git!

dtwpuck · « **Reply #10 on:** July 11, 2007, 06:52:09 am »

Matty, congrats on moving off Trizivir.

Hope el herpo doesn't visit often.

BTW.... cholesterol medication can have some pretty vile side effects, should Die Frau decide to put you on it. If you suddenly feel like you have seroconversion sickness all over again, feel week, and every muscle in your body aches... let her know and get off of it.

Cerrid · « **Reply #11 on:** July 11, 2007, 09:13:26 am »

I'm on Kivexa too, without major problems. Good luck with that one!

On a sidenote: I'm curious about the lady who you seem to have a sincere love-hate thing going on with. Is she really of teutonic origin as your frequent reference implies?

MoltenStorm · « **Reply #12 on:** July 11, 2007, 09:49:09 am »

As always, dear Matty, you bring a certain charm to us from above whenever you post about your health. You'll have to forgive the torrents of laughter you may hear from down here. You've officially got the butt flowers, eh? There's a couple of options for those. You can have perky Frau lavish your love canal with liquid fire, there's a couple of prescriptions such as Aldara that you can apply yourself, or there's always the loving surgeon who will most graciously ream you a new one - literally.

I do have one question about the NIS though. I've often wondered if the same holds true for GYNs and Proctologists that holds true for other professions.

Phone operators don't like talking on the phone when they get off work.
Computer Techs don't like working on computers when they get off work.

Ergo, if it does, it must suck to be the GYNs (male) and Proctologist's (gay male) partner because if they are looking at them all day, why would they want to look at their partner's when they get home?

Best regards, oh beloved beacon of light

Bucko · « **Reply #13 on:** July 11, 2007, 02:26:33 pm »

Quote from: matty.the.damned on July 10, 2007, 08:55:23 pm

Coupled with a second consecutive undetectable VL this means I can finally jettison the hateful AZT component of my regimen!

Fuck off Trizivir, welcome Kivexa!

MtD: Oh I was wondering, how is NIS doing?
Eva: Ever since last Monday he's been considering pursuing gynaecology as a specialty.
MtD: No doubt. Has he asked after me?
Eva: Not really. When ever we mention you, he starts to sweat and has to sit down.

No sinew at all these young doctors. Where do they find them?

Toodles!

MtD

Am i the only one who finds the word "vex" in Kivexa to be comical? Who names these things?

Anything that gets you off the AZT calls for a round of Mojitos for all.

Rod- the bartender's not crushing lime...I believe it's mint leaves.

The fact that MtD's puckerhole has forced NIS into swearing off all man-man contact made my morning tea feel all sparkly and aglow.

Brent
(Who loves MtD so much more than kittens)

RapidRod · « **Reply #14 on:** July 11, 2007, 03:19:04 pm »

Brent, it doesn't change his looks.

I wonder too, why Matty didn't tell him about the echo?
NIH- Oh lady who
echo- any ole guy will do

ndrew · « **Reply #15 on:** July 11, 2007, 07:08:38 pm »

Welcome to the Virus in Every Orifice Club!

Drew

Jeffreyj · « **Reply #16 on:** July 12, 2007, 04:55:45 am »

Dear MtD:

Haapy to hear AZT gets the boot. But, you bully!...getting rid of these young Docs has got to stop.

LMAO as usual.
Daddy J

(who has had some rocket fuel up his arse a time or two.)

"Ground control to Major Tom"

sweetasmeli · « **Reply #17 on:** July 12, 2007, 12:01:26 pm »

Fuck off AZT indeed...and good riddance! See...only MtD can make Miss Melia swear properly without asterisks!

Even though it still aint fab yet, glad to hear your BP's down some, Mattymoo. Do what you can to take care of your cholesterol and triglyngadingdongs though, sweetie. Any more thoughts about giving up the fags...?

Muchas giggles at NIS titbits btw.

Love, huggles n smooches

Little Miss Melia

(who can't spell medical words and loves her Matty as much as kittens)

Edited to add: PS - Hey! We now have 2 viruses in common...how splendid!

pozattitude · « **Reply #18 on:** July 12, 2007, 05:16:52 pm »

Is AZT still being prescribed?
I guess I am becoming sort of jaded

Rich
(who remembers when there was only AZT)

BT65 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 12, 2007, 09:27:33 pm »

Hey Matty:
Glad your BP came down some, but it definitely needs to be lower. I do hope that your doc can find the right medicine to bring it down. Congrats on your viral load. I hope the new medicine works out for you. That was fuckin' hilarious about the NIS. Now, see what you caused him to do- switch over to women!

I do hope your bunghole feels better soon!
Kisses-
Betty

aztecan · « **Reply #20 on:** July 13, 2007, 12:20:10 am »

Dearest Matty,

Type 1 and 2, plus a great bounty of whore's blossoms. Well, I always knew you never did anything half-assed.

As for the NIS,

Keep an eye on the blood pressure and, as our Puck stated, if you begin taking a statin and start feeling nasty, call Frau Eva or your other doc immediately. Been there, done that, ended up jumpstarting my PN.

Quote from: pozattitude on July 12, 2007, 05:16:52 pm

Is AZT still being prescribed?
I guess I am becoming sort of jaded

Rich
(who remembers when there was only AZT)

Yep, they are still prescribing it. In fact, I'm still taking it. It is a very good drug if you can tolerate it, but can be a pain if you cannot.

HUGS,

Mark

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #21 on:** July 13, 2007, 02:58:48 am »

Indeedy Comrade Mark!

AZT is an excellent drug and the fact that it's still used so commonly today when more modern anti-virals have lapsed into some level of disuse is a testament to it's efficacy.

Matty the Damned has only two problems with AZT:

It requires twice daily dosing and he is less the puritan in his adherence;
It gives him a terrible headache.

Otherwise he'd stay on the dratted stuff.

MtD

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Author Topic: Whores' Blossoms and Other Things (Read 9064 times)