Worried

[nervous20]

Hello everyone!  I am a 20 year old male.  On May 9th, I had anal sex with another male.  We had sex twice that night, and I was always the one who topped.  I wore a condom and used lube each time.  In fact, he insisted it.  It was dark and my first time, so I did a lot of trial and error before I inserted him.  The first time we had sex, I ejaculated inside of him with a condom on.  Unfortunately, I did not look at the condom for any tears and bodily fluids.  (It was dark and I didn't think to look at it.)  I remember sliding the condom off and throwing it away.  The second time we had sex, I also ejaculated inside of him with a condom on.  I had to apply lube twice.  Except this time, he told me to keep thrusting, so I did.  When I pulled out, I made sure that I looked at the condom.  I saw semen that time.  I couldn't tell if it was on the outside or the inside.  I slid the condom off and threw it away.  We cleaned ourselves and used the bathroom each time we had sex.  I am uncertain of my status because I have experienced a few similar symptoms.  However, I am hoping they are trauma induced because of a recent, minimally invasive surgery.  Nonetheless, here are my questions:

1. What is my risk of becoming HIV+ from this encounter?  Do I need to test?  (I test every so often.)
2. How exactly do condoms break?  Is it noticeable?  Is it a small rip or a large tear?  I want to know if the semen was inside or outside of the condom.  I do remember taking the condom off and not thinking anything of it.
3. Is it possible that my semen moved from the tip of the condom down my penis?  Could this be a reason why I had semen on my penis?  Could it have been lube?  I remember putting on a lot.
4. Are there boxes of condoms that come with lube?  He had a box of condoms and I used the container of lube that was conveniently placed inside.  I want to make sure that I used the proper kind of lube on the condoms.


Thank you in advance!  I look forward to your replies.

[Jeff G]

Condoms are designed so that when they fail there is no doubt . They shred or get large holes that you would notice . If you are unsure a condom has broke or not you can test for peace of mind . The window period for HIV testing is 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again the 12 weeks to confirm the results . Its doubtful a condom broke and you didn't notice .

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[nervous20]

Thank you for your reply, Jeff.  Could you, Ann, and/or RapidRod still answer the questions that I asked in the first message?  I would really appreciate it.

Here they are again:

1. What is my risk of becoming HIV+ from this encounter?  Do I need to test?  (I test every so often.)
2. How exactly do condoms break?  Is it noticeable?  Is it a small rip or a large tear?  I want to know if the semen was inside or outside of the condom.  I do remember taking the condom off and not thinking anything of it.
3. Is it possible that my semen moved from the tip of the condom down my penis?  Could this be a reason why I had semen on my penis?  Could it have been lube?  I remember putting on a lot.
4. Are there boxes of condoms that come with lube?  He had a box of condoms and I used the container of lube that was conveniently placed inside.  I want to make sure that I used the proper kind of lube on the condoms.

[Ann]

nervous,

1. What is my risk of becoming HIV+ from this encounter?  Do I need to test?  (I test every so often.)

You did NOT have a risk and you do NOT need to test over this specific encounter.

2. How exactly do condoms break?  Is it noticeable?  Is it a small rip or a large tear?  I want to know if the semen was inside or outside of the condom.  I do remember taking the condom off and not thinking anything of it.

It's usually a large rip or tear. It's NOTICEABLE.

3. Is it possible that my semen moved from the tip of the condom down my penis?  Could this be a reason why I had semen on my penis?  Could it have been lube?  I remember putting on a lot.

Of course your cum can move around in the condom. However, it's next to impossible for fluids from the outside to get down into the condom while you're wearing it. You'd have to make an effort to make it happen.

4. Are there boxes of condoms that come with lube?  He had a box of condoms and I used the container of lube that was conveniently placed inside.  I want to make sure that I used the proper kind of lube on the condoms.

I don't know if lube comes pre-packaged with condoms - I'm sure you're computer has access to google just like mine, so do your own market research.

I do know, however, that you can purchase little sachets of lube. Maybe this guy bought them separately and thoughtfully put them together in the box.

Your condom didn't break - so in retrospect the lube doesn't matter. It didn't cause the condom to break - that is the ONLY thing that matters.

Maybe next time you want to top someone, you should supply your OWN condoms and lube so you don't have to second-guess your partner. See how easy that is?

Ann

[nervous20]

Hi Jeff and Ann

I tested a little over 9 weeks for peace of mind and it came back negative. Is my test result basically conclusive? Is it likely to change?

Also, I met up with a guy earlier today and all we did was kiss. Did I put myself at risk for any STIs/STDs? If so, which? I looked at his lips beforehand and I didn't notice anything suspicious.


Thank you!

[Jeff G]

Keeping in my you never had a risk and a 6 week negative test rarely ever changes your 9 week on surely will not provided you have not had unprotected anal and vaginal sex in the interim .

You can get herpes from kissing so theres something to worry yourself silly over . Seriously if you are going to hand wring over kissing and stds you may want to get some help with your anxieties .