Positive and Negative Sexual relationships.

[insatiable1973]

Recently I met a man who is negative and is fully aware that I am positive, he wants to take it to the next level and though I have read and read and read educating myself I am still very newly diagnosed and have not encountered this situation. So my questions are do we both need to use condoms?, is masturbating one another safe with out some sort of protection?, I guess I have alot of questions un answered and though I read all the time it seems like i get conflicting statements. Please help.

[Rev. Moon]

So my questions are do we both need to use condoms?, is masturbating one another safe with out some sort of protection?

Hello insatiable and welcome aboard,

There are various studies dealing with sero-discordant couples; if you try any web search with just that term you may get some valuable info.

You may also want to read this thread within our boards:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15891.0

As far as your specific questions are concerned, there would be no risk in mutual masturbation (and no need for you to wear protection for that specific activity).  You will however need to use protection for anal or vaginal (sorry, can't tell from your post if you are a fella or a lady) intercourse.

From personal experience I can tell you that I dated someone who was positive (back in 94, when I was still negative) for three years and we did not have any problems with sex.  Now that I have recently become positive I decided to end a relationship (the best of my life) with someone who is negative simply 'cause I feel a greater need to take care of myself first.  If it is meant to be we will be together again later on.

Keep reading, but in the ned just trust your feelings (and whatever you consider is best for you now).

Best of luck.  Keep us posted

[insatiable1973]

Thank you for responding, I am a woman. So should I need to use a female condom along with his condom?

[sdguyloveslife]

One condom when used properly is suitable - in your case, you can choose which one you like better.  In fact, when you start doubling up on them is when you get condom breakage and failure.  You'll also see this noted in some of the other threads on here as you browse the website.  Have fun 

[Dale Parker]

I admire your courage.  I'm 6 months positive and think that I would be a nervous wreck to have sex with a negative.  I do have a friend that is negative and his lover has been positive since before they met.  They dated for 3 years and have been living together for 12 years.  My friend is still negative and from what I hear they have a very active sex life.  Yes they do practice safe sex.

[weasel]

Hullo   IN. 

              I say go for it !

   I have been with my HUSBAND  for 28  years now !

    He is NOT  HIV !   He does NOT believe in safe sex , this annoyes me .....................
that is another storey ........................................

   BUT do not let HIV get in the way of your life !

      LIVE LIVE LIVE

  I met a couple at our  group last night that have been married  21 years !
 She is HIV POS.   He  is NOT
They have a great life together !

   Be safe , WE do not want to spread HIV , BUT give him a shot !

Safe sex and be happy !

 wishing you a great time
                                                 Carl

[insatiable1973]

Want to thank everyone for your responses. Ok so here it is last night we went no further than masturbating each other, today he noticed that he has a cut on his finger so we are both wondering if he will become infected over it, I know these questions probably sound ridiculous however, I don't want to be responsible for him or anyone for that matter becoming positive. Should we be worried?

[Ann]

insatiable,

No, fingering is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection. All you two really need to be doing is making sure you use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no matter who you're with. Please read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

You might also ask your bf to read through the Am I Infected forum so he can get a better idea of what is and what is not a risk. Sexually speaking, the only real risks are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

Ann

[insatiable1973]

Thank you Ann,

Not to be a thorn but even with the cut on his finger there is no risk?

[Ann]

Insatiable,

Even with the cuts. I used to be in a relationship with a negative man who was in the building trade. He often had cuts on his hands. We were together for over eight years and he's still hiv negative to this day. Nobody has ever been infected through fingering with cuts and your fella is NOT going to be the first.

Ann

[insatiable1973]

Thank you Ann,