From the mouths of babes ...

[DanielMark]

Just got these in an e-mail from boyfriend Jimmy.

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine says five to six."

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

DI (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is hewhispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked,"Why doesn't your skin fit your face?

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... "Dear Lord," the minister began,with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued, but at that moment the very little daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to the mom and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice,

"Mom, what’s butt dust?"

[anniebc]

 ..don't you just love innocence of kids.

Many years ago I took one my daughter to the Ballet at our local threatre...which had been organised by the school..one of the little girls who was looking a bit confused turned round and asked my daughter "why has that man got a big lump in his tights" and my daughter (who thought she knew it all) said " Good grief, don't you know anything, that's what the lady stands on when he lifts her up"..she was 6 years old.

Hugs
Jan

[Teresa]

  LOL that is so funny. Kids do say the darnest things!

Hugs
teresa

[david25luvit]

Daniel...indeed they do.  Say the darnest things.  I remember watching Art Linkletter where he asked
children different questions and was often times quite surprised by their responses.
Thanks for the chuckle

Cute one about the lump

[DanielMark]

There a couple of brothers in my building - I'd guess ages three and 5 - who find me rather curious. I believe there is no father in their household, and their mother is deaf. Whenever they see me in the lobby they immediately pepper me with "whys." Why are you listening to music under headphones? Can I hear? Why do you have hair on your face? Followed by attempts to pick at it. They also like to call me names, which makes me laugh. "You're a giraffe." "You're a monkey head," and so forth. I don't mind. I find them downright amusing, in fact.

[Markmt]

  Very funny, and coming from innocent kids makes them more so.

[DanielMark]

Yes, kids are great.

At the same time, I find it rather sad that they seem so hungry for male attention in their lives. I tell you, you haven't lived till you've been head-butted in the gut by a five year old. LOL

[Ann]

Well, ok, what IS butt-dust  

I used to love that Art Linkletter show and I was going to ask if anyone else remembered it ... obviously David does!

This reminds me of the time my daughter and I were walking in some nearby woods that have a river running through them. There is a coastal bird here that is in the Cormorant family, but this particular species is called a Shag. Now, the word shag is also British slang for intercourse.

So my daughter and I were walking down the path next to the river when I saw a Shag standing on a rock in the middle of the river. They are pretty big, impressive birds to see in the middle of the woods. I said to my daughter, who was about eight at the time, "Look, there's a shag!"

Here eyes got wide and she sputtered... "but I thought a shag was a ... was a ... oh, nevermind!" She turned bright red as I tried not to laugh! "A shag is also a sea-bird, dear." I replied, and left it at that.