POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: Miss Philicia on March 14, 2013, 10:21:18 pm
-
How To Live A Normal Life After You’ve Tested Positive For HIV
by Brandon (http://thesword.com/how-to-live-a-normal-life-after-youve-tested-positive-for-hiv.html)
Hey guys! Brandon here, The Sword’s winter intern. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while, but I’ve been coming to terms with some pretty weird news. Last month, I tested positive for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.
A lot of you might be wondering how in the world someone like me could possibly catch HIV, and believe me, I’ve been wondering pretty much the same thing these past few weeks. I’m young, I’m good looking, I’m white, and I’m not an intravenus drug user—so why me? I always practiced safe sex by asking my partners if they were clean and disease free before we fucked bareback (not to mention the fact that I’m almost always a top), so this whole thing has left me pretty perplexed. Why me?
In addition to all that, you might remember that I have always been a big praponent of staying safe by getting tested every few months (which obviously I did), so why am I the one with HIV? After taking all the precautions that I’ve taken, why am I the one who has to deal with HIV? Is this some sort of early April’s Fool joke? Why me? I guess no matter what you do to protect yourself—pulling out, getting tested, asking your partner’s status—there’s no way to prevent HIV. Say la vie.
To this day, I still don’t know whom infected me with HIV, but there’s no use crying over spilled milk, right? All I can do now is try to live my life positively—pun not intended—and share my tips with others like I always do. So, here are 3 ways you can still live a normal life even if you’ve tested positive for HIV.
1. Get on medication early. Apparently the thing that causes HIV to turn into AIDS is when White Blood Cells turn into AIDS Cells that attack your system. This doesn’t even make sense since blood is red and not white, but whatever. The thing that sucks is that HIV meds have crazy side effects and I look/feel like shit pretty much all day, every day. The upside to being on HIV meds with side effects though is that your doctors will perscribe you other meds to take care of the side effects from your HIV meds (if you have health insurance, which I do because I’m still on my parents’ plan), so you’re pretty much covered. And don’t worry, if you miss a few doses of your meds because you were too fucked up from partying and forgot to go home, just take triple the dose (plus your side effects meds) whenever you get home, and drink a lot of water!
2. Join an HIV support group. I’ve had some of the hottest, most raw sex of my life with the pig bottoms from my HIV support group.
3. Educate others. Hopefully me reaching out to you guys here has helped educate you as to the causes and the effects of HIV. In addition to my role here, I’ve also been doing some behind the scenes work over at Broke Straight Boys, where I’m advising the models and the production crew on HIV testing protocols and safe sex guidelines. What can I say? I’m just trying to do my part!
Thanks guys.
-Brandon
-
I hope this is satire. But, you never know with some.
Modified:
I was reading the comments just now, and some take this guy seriously and thank him for the advice. ::) One says HIV is "so yesterday."
-
Well, you know, you aren't really gay until you seroconvert. Ask Guilhermina.
-
Shouldn't this be moved to Just Tested Positive? Or was it moved FROM there. Seems familiar.
-
That's an excellent question JK ... ask Ann ;)
-
3 EASY STEPS TO AVOID CATCHING SYPHILIS!
Written by Brandon February 7th, 2013
1. Don’t Fuck Trannies!
2. Don’t Fuck People From The Internet!
hahahahahah
or this one...
2. Join an HIV support group. I’ve had some of the hottest, most raw sex of my life with the pig bottoms from my HIV support group.
What is the Sword, anyway.... Who is the target of this scathing satire? and is this supposed to be someone educational, through satire and snark?
-
Shouldn't this be moved to Just Tested Positive? Or was it moved FROM there. Seems familiar.
That's an excellent question JK ... ask Ann ;)
This ill-advised thread posting had absolutely nothing to do with me. At the time it was all going on, it was well past two AM and I was fabulously tucked up in bed, sound asleep, like any good geriatric well-preserved middle-aged youthful aids patient should be at that time of the wee hours.
If this blog by "Brandon" is meant to be a parody, it's a piss-poor attempt. It should have at least been followed up with a real safer sex message - like don't ask a guy if he's clean, just slap on a condom. And don't use that word CLEAN. The use of that word always makes me think they (alleged negatives) think we pozzies should all walk around ringing a bell, shouting "Unclean! Unclean!" Give me a fucking break.
If it's meant (from his point of view) to be a "truthful" account, well, his attitude is probably why so many young twenty-somethings are joining our ranks these days. ("I asked him if he was clean!") Give me a(nother) fucking break.
Regardless of the original intent of "Brandon", it's not really something that belongs here. Or maybe it is - but having those talks about how serosorting ("are you clean?") doesn't work when you want to remain hiv negative is preaching to the choir here, even if we're preaching to newly-joined choir members.
I dunno. I think if I'd gotten to it first I would have moved it from the Living forum into the Trash, rather than Just Tested. Or maybe we need to start a new forum where Miss P can start inane threads to her hearts content and folks will know it's only about stuff going on mere blocks away from her penthouse suite and nothing to be taken too seriously.
Or maybe I just need more coffee.
But seriously. The fact/idea that people are out there on the internet posting shit like this (I'm looking at "Brandon", not our beloved Miss PeePee) makes me want to repeatedly bang my head against the nearest brick wall. As we all know all too well from stuff that goes over people's heads here, a lot of people don't get irony or parody when it's in the form of the written word. They only get it when they're watching The Comedy Channel and it's been beaten into their brains that they're watching parody.
Oh never mind. I'm off to make another cuppa and go out into my back garden where there's a brick wall with my name on it.
~sigh~
-
As we all know all too well from stuff that goes over people's heads here, a lot of people don't get irony or parody when it's in the form of the written word. They only get it when they're watching The Comedy Channel and it's been beaten into their brains that they're watching parody.
This. It's obviously a parody/satire (without context it's difficult to be sure) but I have a higher opinion of it than our beloved Ann. Good satire (let's just call it that, ok?) ought to make people who get the joke cringe a little.
Or a lot.
Ten years' worth of AM I INFECTED and more than a few people in the rest of the forum could have (and actually have) written parts or all of that little essay themselves, with perfect seriousness.
So as satire goes, it really works to illuminate many of the difficulties regarding HIV transmission, both before and after the fact. A little much to pack into one essay, perhaps, but then again we're looking at maybe "intern-at-The Onion" level stuff here. It's not Jonathan Swift.
There was an underground, but widely circulated HIV related rag in the 80s and early 90s called Diseased Pariah in which an essay like this might have found a home.
That rag was brilliant. Had crafting ideas (turning your multitude of AZT prescription bottles into Russian Nesting Dolls!) and a hunky centerfold sometimes (turn-ons include wicking sheets -- turn-off include bumpy penises, one night stands who die on your futon.)
It was dark as shit, and most of the people who wrote it, appeared in it, and read it are dead.At a time when death was all but inevitable, that sort of humor served as a middle finger to the Universe on the way out the door.
I am all for parody and satire, even the driest and biting-est varieties. Like Ann, I sigh after I chuckle, because it's really, really close to home.
-
So .... is now a good time for me to suggest a Dying With Forum for the Denialist ?
-
So .... is now a good time for me to suggest a Dying With Forum for the Denialist ?
This is me slowly backing away from you, putting hands in pockets, and pretending I stumbled here by accident ;P
-
If you can't tell that Brandon wrote this as satire you may wish to question your IQ.
-
If you can't tell that Brandon wrote this as satire you may wish to question your IQ.
I was 90% sure it was satire. The 10% of doubt came from knowing a few people, who could and would have been totally serious about this, or some other issue. They live in a bubble. And, all the people who believe Chicken of the Sea tuna is chicken.
-
If you can't tell that Brandon wrote this as satire you may wish to question your IQ.
There's nothing wrong with my IQ, dreary deary.
I do, however, question "Brandon's" IQ as that is some of the crappiest "satire" I've ever had the misfortune to read. It just sucked. It wasn't satire, it was stupidity masquerading as satire.
-
Athlete Overcomes Rape
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zWLJZw9Ws-g
"He's refusing to let what happened to the girl he raped, define him."
How's that for satire?
-
are you freaking serious ,fucking BAREBACK? .... AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU CAUGHT IT?!!!!LOL. THIS HAS GOT TO BA A JOKE!!
-
There's nothing wrong with my IQ, dreary deary.
I do, however, question "Brandon's" IQ as that is some of the crappiest "satire" I've ever had the misfortune to read. It just sucked. It wasn't satire, it was stupidity masquerading as satire.
Agree.
-
Humm.
While I am amused, your story could be pushing the lid off the pressure cooker :-)
-
There's nothing wrong with my IQ, dreary deary.
I do, however, question "Brandon's" IQ as that is some of the crappiest "satire" I've ever had the misfortune to read. It just sucked. It wasn't satire, it was stupidity masquerading as satire.
Agree.
Gotta say that I agree as well. It is clearly intended as satire, but it sucks. Meh!
-
You're all a dreary lot, that's for sure.
-
If the choice is between dreary and dreadful, I'll always opt for . . . cute!
-
"Brandon" sounds like a young bipolar man who has recently shot into mania! I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 28 so I know.