Outliving HIV; For any one doubting how can I make it

[jzjzjz]

Hello All,

It's JzJz,

It has been quite some time since I posted.  I am sitting here at nearly 4 in the AM now realizing that it was just a year ago that I tested HIV positive and I am remembering the nights when I was afraid to go to sleep for fear of going blind or not waking up. I remember my indecision and the absolute terror about my life, work possibilities, insurance, life expectancy and most of all loneliness.  All I could see at that time was darkness. One step at a time... Started meds in Janurary... Kaletra and (blinded study) either Epizicom or Truvada. My health rapidly improved after my CD4 had dropped to a low of 89. They have now risen to 487 after 8 months of therapy and my viral load has fallen from 87,000 to undetectable.

So many wonderful things have occurred since then. I moved from the Deep South back to NYC. Started a new job with a nearly 30% raise from my former income, started dating again, gained 20 lbs and the men in my life are even more beautiful and young and effeminate than in my preHIV days ;-)

Just got back from a 2 week vacation in South Africa...learned a lot about HIV and the sterling will to live of so, so many men and women who are much less fortunate than those of us here in the US.

I thank God for love, life and happiness. If I should die at this very moment I would be absolutely thankful for this victory over fear that this last year has taught me.

To all you new ones out there keep your chins up...don't despair. You don't have to wait for a cure.  There are so many, many people who are "outliving" this virus. Life span with HIV is now normal. We understand this condition as a chronic illness which is ,in many ways, less formidable than diabetes.

YOU CAN AND WILL LIVE VICTORIOUSLY

Love,
JzJz

[aztecan]

Hey Jzjz,

Good to hear from you again!  I am very glad your life is progressing so well and, more importantly, that you are enjoying it!

I remember your first posts quite well. The first year is a real pain in the butt in many ways and you have come through with flying colors.

Just wanted to say hi and welcome back. I hope you check in more often.

HUGS,

Mark

[Longislander]

Thanks for that post Jzjz, I'm almost done with my 1st year, yet nowhere near your lifestyle and mindset.Good for you. Welcome back to NY! Part of me is afraid I may have to move into the city to start living a more social life with this...
Paul

[anniebc]

Thanks JZ...I loved reading your post, and I loved that you fought back and won, and that you are now the one in control, I hope the love and happiness you have found follows you for the rest of your life.

With love and hugs
Jan

[Eldon]

Hello JzJz, it is Eldon.

It is always good to hear good news from one of our fellow members of this forum. It is also good that you have rebounded with your CD4 count and now your VL is undetectable. I could only see that your trip to South Africa was a life changing experience. You are ever so right that we are better of than many others in this world.

Congratulations on your new job in NYC as well!!!

Have the BEST Day!

[cph9680]

That's a great post...So glad to hear that things have rebounded and that you survived the first year!  Keep up the good work!

Corey

[Miss Philicia]

That's horribly commendable of you to make both a big geographic move as well as a career change while during with HIV that began with the numbers you quoted.  I also did something somewhat similar when I was diagnosed (new job) but it was in the same city so it wasn't near the challenge you had, though at the time I wondered if my choice was wise.  I'll admit my first year of that job was horribly stressful.  I was somewhat in over my head and the previous person had been so bad in that position that they'd left a mess I had to spend a year cleaning up.  Plus my bosses were rather unpleasant to boot.

Still, great for you!  And great HIV number improvement within one year.  Enjoy NYC -- I lived there when I was diagnosed and for 15 years and had a blast.  And yes, THE MEN!!!

[Robert]

jzjz..

so good to hear from you.  And I'm so happy for you.  You're right, that first year can be a bear but, hey, there's no looking back now.  congratulations!!  and I don't know who is luckier.... you or all those effeminate men you're talking about.  It sounds like they have to take a number.

robert

[Cliff]

Good to hear from you Jz.  I'm so glad things are going well for you and that you have made the move.  Tell us more about RSA when you get the chance.  I miss that country.

[alive2]

thats an insipiring story,good numbers and new job,good for you.sounds as if the horror stories have ended in your mind and your moving on to living which is always easier said than done for alot of us,and its awe some to see you have witnessed the experiences of those much less fortunate than us here in the us,although some here still suffer needlessly because of the way government is run now.instead of putting the countries people first the government puts its politicians first,which is why we need a better way or we will all be affecteds by someone who has this to deal with everyday,which brings me to south africa,the resources wwe and many others give to arent being distributed amongst the people who need it,the health minister,is a deranged person who needs to be shot and made an example of,many of the people who are suffering there needlessly dont have to its their government as well messing up everything others are tring to help out with.so feel good its not just our government thats f****d up like it is,im sure we can all come up with horror stories from the government but how many of us really expolre what the politicians are doing and actually vote for the right candidate?thats enough of a rant for me,i just think other governments ought to do more with whats given to them instead of making things worse for there own people,and making the numbers grow out of control,which is in part the failings of the government of their own countries where the voice doesnt count.im not saying its all government but most is all politically motivated,pehaps a form of culling the population of the sick and weak for the strong and uninfected to take whats left behind and use whats given to them to help where they feel they need it.its corupt there i know but to have a bleeding heart wont change nothing at all,the people of those countries have to do whatever they can,i say if im going to die of something i might just as well die trying to change things and not use pity and embarresment for a hitching postand just because they are losing mass life doesnt mean we other countries dont see it and try to help,its the fact our help isnt being implimented by them countries politicians,so there snot much we can do as humans untill the barbarians are out of control in those suspect countries.thats enough of this,i hope you can see my meaning in this statement and not take it as an attack,take care