POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: auspoz on September 30, 2012, 05:52:55 am
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OK. So in my daily life I'm considered a huge success. Not yet 40, 'great guy', top of my profession yada yada. Why am I not attractive to the gays? I don't understand. Maybe I never will. But all this gay shit about people and personalities, love and marriage pisses me off. Sorry all, I'm over the lying by gays who say "I've got no problem with HIV". Help. Please.
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I'm sure you'll soon get a gay man's perspective on your post. I can weigh in from a straight woman's perspective -- and there ain't no lying in our sphere as negative men will more often than not back away if/when disclosed to, possibly kill you (as in the recent case in TX) if you don't, and the positive men pool for straight women to date or love is slim pickin's fer shizzle in quantity and beyond.
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OK. So in my daily life I'm considered a huge success. Not yet 40, 'great guy', top of my profession yada yada. Why am I not attractive to the gays? I don't understand. Maybe I never will. But all this gay shit about people and personalities, love and marriage pisses me off. Sorry all, I'm over the lying by gays who say "I've got no problem with HIV". Help. Please.
Maybe its the way you wrote this paragraph. But it seems like a dismissive attitude you have about guys on the market. What exactly is the "gay shit about people and personalities, love and marriage"? Do you mean, because over the years, more and more gay guys talk about, aspire to, experience and value coupledom, and marriage? That bugs you? As opposed to what?
Sound like you want a relationship, too, right?
Anyway what exactly is the issue. Are you getting the sex you want? And, or, is it the intimacy that is lacking??
Secondly, a slightly different subject - is gays who say they don't have a problem dating / loving HIV+ guys. But brass tacks, finally they do have a problem when faced with the situation. OK that exists. Some guys can't deal. But many of these may NOT be liars per se. They say what is PC. And they may lack self knowledge.
Only some are "liars."
See what I mean, you do make generalizations about the men on the market... And maybe guys on the market make generalisations about HIV+ guys. Its kind of pot.. kettle. Kettle, pot.
In fact there isn't much you can do about the liars. Just look at it this way, you don't want to waste your time and love on a person who is deluded about himself and rather inclined to "fair weather" love.
Also, if the question is the meat market - just getting laid, plenty of guys want nothing to do with HIV+ guys for a sex hookup. There's not much to be done about that. On the meat market, most people are VERY specific about what they want and don't want. Just the way it is.
(Also.... "the gays"? That was ironic usage, right?....)
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I somehow got the vibe that auspoz, by writing "all this gay shit about people and personalities, love and marriage pisses me off" meant that people often say/write on dating sites that they're looking for love, relationship and stuff, but in fact are just trying to get laid (that's my experience, too).
And mecch, people who say they don't have a problem with HIV and then they do have a problem ARE liars. First they lie to themselves and then they lie to the other people and end up hurting them.
@auspoz:
You have to be patient, in the end, someone simply appears out of nowhere and you're happy.
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I somehow got the vibe that auspoz, by writing "all this gay shit about people and personalities, love and marriage pisses me off" meant that people often say/write on dating sites that they're looking for love, relationship and stuff, but in fact are just trying to get laid (that's my experience, too).
And mecch, people who say they don't have a problem with HIV and then they do have a problem ARE liars. First they lie to themselves and then they lie to the other people and end up hurting them.
@auspoz:
You have to be patient, in the end, someone simply appears out of nowhere and you're happy.
WRONG !
MTanic you are WRONG >:(
My Husband loves me more than the MOON :)
I know many guys that do not really CARE about HIV , Not that they do not take safe measures , But they KNOW the pool is limited to find an HIV -NEG partner .
Please do not be so close minded and 1950 ish >:(
Weasel
PS : Bob and I have been together over 30 years and there is no lack of true love ;)
Please do not pass on your thoughts to men that may have a good man that does not
consider HIV / AIDS an end to life or relationships .
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OK. So in my daily life I'm considered a huge success. Not yet 40, 'great guy', top of my profession yada yada. Why am I not attractive to the gays? I don't understand. Maybe I never will. But all this gay shit about people and personalities, love and marriage pisses me off. Sorry all, I'm over the lying by gays who say "I've got no problem with HIV". Help. Please.
welcome to the club. ;D
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I think having a big ego and a high opinion of oneself is great.
Have you tried Plenty of Fish website my best friend found his soul mate online and they are both HIV Neg.
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Sorry I am confused do Gay men find you ugly or are you saying you find certain gay men ugly and therefore you are not getting any , or are you hetro and just stamping on your handbag?
I await your clarification with interest
yours
mhtv
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I sometimes get bummed watching the gays holding hands and walking :P Is that what you're talking about? ... It's been years since I've been in a relationship and I can imagine it would bring me a lot of happiness. But you got to understand that it is hard enough for the gays to find someone without bringing HIV into the equation. I meet guys and things simply don't work out even before they find out my big bad secret.
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There are plenty of ways to meet HIV + guys Just look at the Poz personals here.
In my own opinion just be up front. Talking about HIV as a ' Big bad secret'
will not help matters If someone cannot accept you as is then move on !