Possible HIV exposure, very concerned

[James3]

Hello everyone, I was in a situation recently that has given me some concern about possible HIV/STD exposure.

I am a male, always been with women but decided I wanted to try something with another guy. I met him online, and after chatting for a while went to his place. I performed oral sex on him (PROTECTED, NO EJACULATION) for 30 seconds. Then I received anal sex from him (PROTECTED, NO EJACULATION) for maybe 40 seconds, it felt uncomfortable and slightly painful so I stopped it. There was no ejaculation from either the oral or anal, and the condom was still on him and intact after. He used a water based lubricant. There was no rectal bleeding that I noticed. He said he was negative and recently tested but there's no way to know if that's true.

This was a week ago. Should I be concerned? I spoke to a health care specialist and she said I probably have nothing to worry about. But I would like to get tested for peace of mind. How long should I wait to do this? The anxiety and stress has resulted in me not being able to sleep or eat. its all i think about.Thank you all for reading and replying.

[Andy Velez]

What anyone says about their negative status is basically irrelevant. What is important is that a condom was used for anal intercourse. Sexually the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are used properly for those activities you will be well protected.

Receiving oral is absolutely not a risk and giving oral is only theoretically a risk. Your saliva has over a dozen proteins and enzymes which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV. 

I don't see any cause for further concern on your part nor any need for HIV testing.

[James3]

Thank you Andy, for your reassuring words. My anxiety has taken a big toll on my body and mind, to the point where it's hard to function everyday. Does the fact that he did not ejaculate make it less risky?

[Ann]

James,

It doesn't make a bit of difference one way or the other - all your activities were protected.

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER PROTECTED INTERCOURSE OR ORAL, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[James3]

So is my imagination running away with me? Do I need to get tested?

[Ann]

James,

Yes, your imagination is running wild and no, you do not need to test specifically over this NO RISK situation.

However, as I told you yesterday, any sexually active adult should have a complete sexual health check up at least once a year. Think of it like going to the dentist for a check up - you may not have a toothache but you go anyway.

It's what responsible adults do to protect their health.

Ann