SEX w/ a HIV Positive person

[smokey]

I had protected sex with a woman that at the 6 week mark after the sex called and let me know she tested positive for HIV but was not confirmed but did get it confirmed. I had a oral HIV test done at the 6 week mark and another one at the 9 week mark and all were negative. I know protected sex is not a risk but I cant help to think that I never inspected the condom after sex.  The sex was rough and the condom may have torn as I did glance down at it when removing it but I did not totally inspect when removing it.  So I keep thinking maybe it tore and I missed the tear?  I am allergic to latex so I used a non latex condom which was the first time using the non latex as I have been in committed relationship for 20 years so no need for condoms.  Anyways I called a buddy that is in the medical field and he stated there was no need to test as condom's are a effective barrier and it did its job and anyways the test further proves I am not postitive.  I thought a 90 day test means your not positive but anyways I leave it alone but not completely now at 14 weeks past the event my lymph nodes feel swollen not by touch but I get occasional pains in the neck, groin, and arm pits where the nodes are, so I call my buddy again and states it not related to HIV because symptoms don't  happen that late. Anyways my buddy is not a a specialist in the HIV field and I question his answers.  Anyway I am looking for thoughts to put me at a point I can move along but getting that kind of news just takes the wind out of your sails as guess I just didn't expect the call.
1. Can a condom have tears or holes that expose you? I seen a few post that stated people had tears but not completely broken which this scares the yo.u know what out of me since I did not inspect mine
2. Is a negative at 9 weeks proof I did not catch the virus
3. Is a oral test good enough for detecting HIV
4. Do I need to test again?
5. I shaved my private before sex within a couple hours before the act and heck I don't remember any blood but again I didn't really look and I am sure I had small cuts
6. Is the lymph node pain related to maybe a HIV infection, as I have not been feeling them up but just a occasional pain in those areas like a dozen times a day in each area

[Joe K]

Protected sex is not a risk for HIV infection as your 6 and 9 week negative shows.  If a condom fails, there is no doubt as they shred.  They do not get small holes or tears, but none of this matters as you have reliably tested negative.  Oral tests are accurate and I would consider your 9 week negative as reliable, so you have no further need of testing.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to HIV testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start.  As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine HIV tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV.  Some of the other STDs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!

Joe

[smokey]

Thanks Joe as this is scary and I am just glad I did wear a condom as having a reaction to latex made the thought cross my mind not too but I thought never know.....

Was all the info my buddy gave me correct? I trust him but he does not specialize in this. He said the same about condom but I can not find anything on the condom website to support that they tear completely and my whole fear evolves around seeing where people have developed same tears.  Dont mean to beat this to death as but I just need to know that I will come out fine and move along with out worries about every ailment being attached to this.

Also do you feel as the oral at the 9 weeks is enough to prove this as I just read oral is slow  at catching the virus.  By the way after your response Im unplugging the internet as that seems to create more concern. 

[Joe K]

Smokey,

The oral test is accurate and you have reliably tested negative.  If I thought you had even the slightest risk, I would ask you to test, but you did not have a risk and you have the negative result as proof.  Condoms are extremely effective in preventing infections and they can become damaged during removal, however they are designed to fail in such a way as there can be no doubt.

It is safe for you to put this behind you and move on.

Joe

[smokey]

Really nervous as to what are the chances of a negative 9 week oral changing when I test at a later date. I have read where some say it just don't happen but others say it does? I only did home oral swabs and just want to see if anyone has seen them change after a 9 week test. I would not be all that concerned if I didn't have swollen and sore lymph nodes in my neck, armpits, and groin area as these areas are sore and I do not touch them. Do oral test change after 9 weeks?

[Jeff G]

A 9 week test rarely ever goes on to be positive when confirmed at 12 weeks . A negative test with a person who has not had a risk for HIV like yourself never goes on the be positive so you can relax ... you never needed testing for this incident anyway . HIV positive people are having protected anal and vaginal sex somewhere every minute of the day with they're negative partners and do not get HIV . What counts is that you used protection and an intact condom means no HIV ... its really that simple .