There could even be pictars! ;)
Do we get to see your weenie again?
Maybe. If you're good you might get to see mah hiney!
MtD
Can I have a roller blind?
Pictorial evidence required. Preferably a live video feed.
No, you may not.(http://tool.shagnasty.net/wiki/images/7/7a/Clockwork3.jpg)
MtD
I was hoping for cheery pictures on the train -- guess Matilda left the Thai house boy at home.
Don't forget that he shipped him off to Ann's Rock some time last week.
Don't forget that he shipped him off to Ann's Rock some time last week.
Don't forget that he shipped him off to Ann's Rock some time last week.
I hear she's stuffing him with raw sea scallops and then felching.
Drinking forbidden juice from Ann's Lady Chocha.
There is a distinct whiff of patchouli and pretentiousness in the air.
MtD
Well this is starting to get tedious.
I've just been admitted to the infectious diseases ward by a registrar (Rahul -- cute!). It's a four bed ward and my cell mates are all women!
Truly I am living the dream of every 30 something gay man, stuck in an airless ward with three diseased bints.
Apparently one of them has a broken back. Unfortunately she can still talk. It seems she can't peeeeeeeeeeee!
Women are such dramah queens, honestly. ::)
Prior to this Rahul examined me at considerable length over in the AIDS clinic. He has lovely warm hands.
Anyhoo, teh LP has been postponed in favour of a spine/brain MRI because they now doubt my issues are ID related. I get to see a neurologist at some point.
I could be here for a week, or so they keep saying.
Good times, eh? ;D
MtD
Well its good that you are not going to become a human shis kabob . Im trying to find a bright spot somebody help me out here ok .
The elderly bird (srsly she's like 87) diagonally across from me is the most impressive farter. She really knows how to let those rumblers go. :)
MtD
See, so cheer up it's not all bad now is it.. ;)
Aroha
:-*
Sorry you're stuck in the hospital. I'm keeping you in my every day thought, Matteh. :-*
The best bit is that everytime she hits the high c on the bum trumpet, she excuses herself! :D
How quaint is that? Truly social graces are relics of another age.
MtD
Some woman is singing Islands in the Stream in the most irritating off key tone.
Some hippy fuckwit is prattling on about acupuncture. ::)
Here is a pictar of the back of his head:(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7993042/25052011%28001%29.jpg)
Note the fuckwit hat he is wearing. This is so decent people can identify him as a fuckwit and avoid him or, optionally, push him over.
MtD
I gotta say, the girls have it pretty good. Enid and Marge don't even have to get up to go the brasco. They wear those adult nappy things and are able to relax in bed whilst they shit themselves and then have some poor nurse attend to the mess.
In my opinion, that's living! :)
MtD
We'll see.
STUDENT NURSES! God, they're just babies! Seriously the young bloke who just tried to work out my medication chart, looks about 15.
Terrible acne, poor little bloke.
Thankfully they've not brought breakfast around yet.
MtD
STUDENT NURSES! God, they're just babies! Seriously the young bloke who just tried to work out my medication chart, looks about 15.Do any of them student nurses look like Justin Bieber? If so, you may have a few forum members, who shall remain unnamed (
Terrible acne, poor little bloke.
MtD
Matty:
Where are the picture updates? Perhaps, a group pic of you and the ladies - or the student nurses as they take your temperature? ;)
That said, 81 year old poon is nowhere near as gruesome as you might think. :)
MtD
That said, 81 year old poon is nowhere near as gruesome as you might think. :)
MtD
Once you are out of the hospital and back on your feet relaxin at home I will gladly mail you some of the adult nappy things so you can relax in bed and shit yourself --- we can then have Ann's houseboy come by and attend to the mess --- Call it a get well soon gift. Yes, I would do that for you - you mean just that much to me Matty D! ;D
like an old Oyster with 2 spindly hairs on it?
You are a sick man, you know that don't you.
Aroha
:-*
like an old Oyster with 2 spindly hairs on it?
Marge is a fine looking dowager. Her vent is lushly thatched with noble silver locks.
MtD
Marge is a fine looking dowager. Her vent is lushly thatched with noble silver locks.
MtD
Marge is a fine looking dowager. Her vent is lushly thatched with noble silver locks.
MtD
So what are you thinking , another place to hide your keys ?
I suspect she uses it for a change purse.
MtD
Marge is a fine looking dowager. Her vent is lushly thatched with noble silver locks.
When I asked if he was any good, I was told "Whoever performs the procedure will be competent."
When I asked if he was any good, I was told "Whoever performs the procedure will be competent."
Matty-
Hope the LP goes smoothly, and I echo the senitments of he others here: We will require photographic evidence showing all.
Plus, if you handle it like a big boy, then maybe Marge will let you get a closer look at her lushly thatched vent with it's noble silver locks.....
Is the food any good there? The hospital where I'm at, the food is a insult to god and all things holy. I taken to having my own brought in.
Best of luck to you, Old Dog
CaptCarl
I'm sending Father Riccardo over with some coke and condoms -- lemme know how it goes, k?
Just had the MRI. Brain and spine. 1 hour and 10 minutes long.Don't make me fly down there and keep your ass in that hospital - you need to find out whats goin on man --- dayummm it. Better to take care of it now - then to put it off. Please stay there - I will send you nasty pics of me if you do ;D If that is a deterrant to you staying, then I will send you nasty pics if you leave - the threat of that should keep you there....
Anybody who had an MRI will know what I mean when I say that it was a deeply unpleasant experience.
Suffice to say that there will be no LP this afternoon. I've just informed the infectious disease registrar of this and he's not real pleased.
But fuck that. I have reached my limit of medical stuff for this week.
I'm going home. This afternoon. :)
MtD
Don't make me fly down there and keep your ass in that hospital - you need to find out whats goin on man --- dayummm it. Better to take care of it now - then to put it off. Please stay there - I will send you nasty pics of me if you do ;D If that is a deterrant to you staying, then I will send you nasty pics if you leave - the threat of that should keep you there....
Sorry doll, but fuck this shit. I've got limits and they have been reached.Alright man - well you are an adult and can make your own decisions ---- I just get overly concerned and protective these days. Three weeks before my dad passed he had went to the ER - my mother drove him there - he waited in the ER for 5 hours - got tired of waiting and went home ---- 3 weeks later the ambulance took him to the ER ---- and the rest is already known --- so, this is a sensitive area for me... I know it is tiring, frustrating, etc. but if you leave and things get worse - I just hope you get your ass back there.....I really wish you would just stay. I don't ever think - especially since recent events in my family - that it is a good idea to leave AMA (against medical advice) - My one friend went to a teaching hospital and had a similar experience of being seen by to many people and going through the same old same old over and over just to be a teaching activity ---- I told him to speak up ---- the next time he went, he made it clear that he was not going to consent to being seen by a bunch of students and used as a "lesson" or teachable moment - they had to honor his request and he no longer had an entire classroom of future doctors using him as a "homework assignment."
This is essentially a fuss for doctors. Basically it seems like a pissing match beween infectious diseases on the one hand and neurology on the other as to who owns me.
This is a teaching hospital and is infested with students. Since Wednesday I've been examined by more than 15 doctors and I've had e-fucking-nuff.
I'm not being difficult, I just can't take anymore. After the MRI there is no way I'm letting anyone stick anything in my spine today.
We can do that next week, but now I need to go home.
And I intend to do just that.
MtD
It's all good babe! The ID consultant has just discharged me. My MRI was clear so that's good.
But I have received a diagnosis. Apparently I have a very rare degenerative neurological condition called hereditary spastic paraplegia. It's genetic and it causes progressive weakness and spacity in the lower limbs. It can affect other things too.
Apparently I already have the tell tale gait associated with this disease as well as other key symptoms. I've been referred to a consultant neurologist for assessment. There is no cure and I have to have a genetic test to determine precisely which form of HSP I have. Treatment options are limited.
Anyway this is entirely unrelated to AIDS so this thread can be moved to Orf Torpic, Goderators willing.
MtD
Anyway this is entirely unrelated to AIDS so this thread can be moved to Orf Torpic, Goderators willing.
For some reason I can't imagine you with a family.
For some reason I can't imagine you with a family.
Me neither. I think he was jettisoned by a passing space ship.
Can you picture Matty hugging one of his parents? For some reason I'm having flashbacks from this 1974 movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071675/) -- have you seen it? And is it a coincidence that this movie came out the same year Matty was born? I THINK NOT!
trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA3iusK4p78
That's the link to the 2008 crappy remake.
This is the trailer for the original '74 "classic": http://youtu.be/aD9wL0ffxqY
Mutant babies are known to lie. ::)
I thought it looked weird/wrong -- thanks. You know I actually went to this movie at the illustrious Tally-Ho Cinema when I was 10 years old and became so frightened my father had to take me out in the lobby until I calmed down. Did that with Towering Inferno too.
I thought it looked weird/wrong -- thanks. You know I actually went to this movie at the illustrious Tally-Ho Cinema when I was 10 years old and became so frightened my father had to take me out in the lobby until I calmed down. Did that with Towering Inferno too.
An examination of the Register of Births, Deaths and Marriages will show that Matty the Damned slithered out in 1975 not 1974.
MtD
I wanna see the Human Centipede.
Don't, baby. It's just an exercise in nihilism and human cruelty without any redeeming value.
Salo (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073650/).
That is all.
MtD
I wanna see the Human Centipede.
excrement eating and all sorts of lovely scenes :P
I must admit that one video nasty that got me all queasy very recently was the repugnant Human Centipede; I couldn't even finish it.
Dearest Mattala...I shall say a little Friday night Shabbos prayer, or not, but here's hoping that everything works out well at the little Cuckoo's nest you're resigned to so you can be made better. Keep up your sense of humor, it is you're most valuable trait. I say so because I have always enjoyed your little writings, topical and witty, an honest sarcasm, some solid advice and just a treat generally speaking.
So forget you, just get better for us and get back to that Boolabangem place where you undoubtedly have just enough folks to make miserable !!! ;)
Jodala
One of the neat things about HSP is that it only affects the lower body -- not the hands. My poison missives will not be stopped they won't!
MtD
Matty
I'm sorry to hear this news.
On the family issues, if it is a dominant gene, then did one of your parents have this too? Would how it affected them give you some better idea of what to expect?
Of course, if it is due to a recessive gene, then your brother is less likely to also be affected, and his children even less so.
Thinking of you
A
Darling-
Having suffered a lumbar punction in 2002 (without a doubt the single worst year of my life), I can assure you that you're damned lucky to have avoided the procedure. Mine was done in one of those filthy, horrifying rooms in the ER where they keep you until you're deemed either ready for upstairs or seen fit to return home.
In reality, they calmed me down with a Valium drip and massive amounts of local anesthetic, so the actual, physical pain was only about 30% of what you might have imagined (though 30% was still a tough row to hoe). The entire exercise lasted, perhaps, 45 minutes. The hardest part was the excruciating blow-by-blow that the doctor announced throughout the procedure, as if I really needed to know precisely what he was doing at precisely that second.
The oddest thing was the funny little spigot used to withdraw the spinal fluid itself: it looked like a child's "so you wanna be a plumber" toy. My biggest regret was that they hadn't performed a viral load on the fluid removed.
The absolute worst part (aside from my ex Kenny's presence throughout the procedure, in mask, gloves and a breathing mask), was the blinding headache I suffered afterward. It made a migraine seem trifling in comparison. As I recall, it lasted for more than a day.
Not having found whatever horror they'd anticipated, they sent me home several hours later that night. The bright spot there was that Kenny was forced to sleep on the couch, so I had a blessed night of peace and (painful) tranquility (if such a thing is possible).
You ducked a bullet. Everything about the experience was painful, nerve-wracking and utterly devoid of both dignity and glamour.
Yours-
B