jkinatl2:
Exactly. No one will EVER tel you that unprotected sex, even with an undetectable viral load, is a hundred percent safe. Semen can often have viral blips that bloodwork simply does not detect.
I think one of the problems here is that we tens to lump all sorts of sex under one umbrella.
If a female is HIV positive and the male is negative, then penetrative intercourse with an undetectable viral load is about as safe as a condom. Same can more or less be said in a gay relationship, if the receptive partner in anal sex has an UD VL.
However, if the male in a heterosexual/vaginal situation is UD, the risk, though reduced to ALMOST insignificant, is not as low. Same can be said for a male in the penetrative role in anal sex, if that male is positive. The risk, though still plenty diminished, is still higher. It's really all about the level of risk a partner (or partners) is/are willing to undertake.
In my ten odd years dealing with problems/concerns on the AM I INFECTED forum, I have yet to see a male test positive after a condom break. I cannot say the same about a female, though having an undetectable viral load would certainly provide a huge amount of protection. Best possible advice- read ANN's condom links in her posting signature.
Used correctly, a condom should very very very rarely break.