First Post

[BritishStu]

Hi All,

Just wanted to firstly say what a good site this is. Plenty of useful information and helpful advice. I've read a lot of posts and to just wanted to those that are feeling down, that I believe that one day a cure will be found. The article on Prosatin looked very encouraging. I have a lot of respect for the doctors and scientists out there doing their research.

Anyhow - why am I on here?
Well a year ago now my father aged 61 tested positive. A bit of a shock. Basically what happened, is he developed a dry cough, then thrush in the mouth and lost a lot of weight. He went to 3 doctors and all of them ignored the signs and sent him back home. Then one day he couldn’t breath...thats when he was taken to hospital (in a pretty bad state). The hospital confirmed it was PCP - pretty scary seeing a person in that type of condition, when for the last 30 years etc, he has never been in hospital. He was on drips and oxygen.

Anyhow - he was told that his immune system had been damaged so much that his cd4 count was well below 100. I believe that he was infected by his lady partner, and here is the bad thing “I believe she knew she was positive but did not tell him” My opinion is based on the things that she said to him before they split up. For the time being - I won’t be pursuing this for my fathers benefit, but I have been told that she was sleeping with other men as well. Meanwhile, I do hope she is at least telling her partners of her condition. (This isn’t a dig at the woman - as it takes 2 to tango - but if you know your positive and seek a sexual relationship then do the right thing and be honest and don’t leave things to ‘lady luck’ tell your partner, so he/she can at least make an informed decision.

He started meds straight away , the first lot gave him a reaction, so they changed his meds. .He takes them every day - but sometimes is a bit slack on the timing. E.g. If a doctor told me to take tablets at 10am and 10pm, I would do so on the dot just because of the consequences of not doing do. However reading some of the posts - as long as its each day and not missing dosages, he should be fine.

Since them he goes to the hospital every 3 months. I don’t think his CD4 count has gone past 150, but the doctors have said that this could be due to his age. However, health wise he is in really good condition and doesn’t appear to be suffering from any side effects from the drugs. His attitude towards his condition, is that he has a virus and that is it. He doesn’t use computers etc so is unaware of the other complications that can present themselves. I have to be honest - cause I can use a computer and done lots of research, I’m more nervous than him. Especially when he gets a cough - you automatically think the worse.

For those reading - especially if you’ve been newly diagnosed. The only thing I can say, is that being positive doesn’t mean the end of your life (perhaps I’m not qualified to say that - but based on personal experience, there are a lot worse things out there) and try keep your chins up! My attitude/perception towards the virus has changed. and I think it has helped me to become a better more understanding person and I wish you all well!

I’ll keep posting updates in the future about my father and how he progresses. Thanks for reading.

[lylanova]

Hi!
I'm really sorry for your father... and hope to read he's improving more and more day by day.
I'm a newly diagnosed and... I already completely agree with you... being positive won't be the end of the world, and also it doesn't mean that death is closed.
Anyway, it's encouraging for me to read your words... so... thanks a lot.
Take care.

[anniebc]

Hi Stu

Reaction to the results of an HIV diagnosis is difffernt for everyone, but over time your Dad will find a way of coping with the virus that suits him, and it might be quite differnt from how others deal with it.

It's not easy and it's ok to get angry or scared but don't let it take over your Dad's life or your's, stress is natural it can actually help some of us get through certain situations but excessive stress can cause your Dad physical symptoms and can damage his immune system further, just find ways for him to manage any stress that he may be feeling, if you want to help teach him how relax and listen to his body...it will tell him what to do.

Along with HIV comes anxiety and one way of tackling this is through information. gaining confidence in
himself and making informed decisions about his future.

Support is very important and he can get this from a qualified ID doctor , family and friend that you both can trust and there are many support organizations out there...just make sure whoever he discuss's this with is sympathetic,supporting and  non judgmental about his HIV status.

Most important of all he has to remember that being HIV+ does not stop him from being the person he was before his dianosis.

If you have any more question's abut your Dada diagnosis then don't hestitate to ask, there is always someone who will be here for you.

Cheers
Jan