Author Topic: I want to be reincarnated as a gay man! (Read 10805 times)

Sdgirl · « **on:** August 06, 2006, 10:54:22 pm »

Oh yeah, I’m serious.

Now I have SO not led a sheltered life, but last night I went to not only ONE, but THREE gay bars……….my first time………dayum did I get my cherry popped!

Back in the day, I was what you might call a “club whore”. That’s right baby, I was the girl everyone knew, and everyone wanted to dance with……..looking back now, it couldn’t have been real pretty!

So, back to last night………The first place we went to was called Hamburger Mary’s which is actually a great place to eat but has dancing in the back….turns out it was “country night” last night and everyone was getting their cowboy on. My first observation was there was a total lack of inhibition. It was beautiful! OMG! But don’t get it twisted, if you couldn’t do the steps, there was little tolerance…..but that’s okay because sitting back and watching was WAY better than participating.

Oh yeah baby, the next place was a club called “Flame”……I was feeling the name and the vibe inside was chill, but it was empty…..like maybe 15 people in the entire place, but they had a POLE! Who am I to pass up a damn stripper pole? My friend Gina and I were working the pole like two professionals when this very “large” woman? came up to Gina and said, and quite loudly I might add….”What are you doing here with her….I can rock your world baby!” HELLO??? Now I realize I like boys, but come on now! When Gina told the girl? that she was straight, she turned to me and said “You must be homophobic!” HELLO??? I AM IN A GAY BAR………….SO not homophobic. So then I set out to prove her wrong by attempting to hunt her down so I could stick my tongue down her throat……….I’m thinking that was the Red Bull and Vodka making my decisions, so we left for the next bar across the street NUMBERS………….Oh yeah baby……………..here is where the fun began.

Now I will preface this by saying that I SO TOTALLY realize the stigma that gay men and women face on a daily basis but what I experienced was in an environment where everyone was obviously very comfortable with their sexuality……..

Oh lord, the MEN! Jesus Christ! I was a diabetic at the damn Willie Wonka Chocolate Factory! The reckless abandon, the bodies, the delicious smells………..I had found my mecca. But the best thing was………there was absolutely NO pressure whatsoever! No one cared what I looked like, what I was wearing….no one frankly cared about me at all! Woo Hoo……..well the down side was that no one bought us drinks either, but hey, I can live with that!

I danced and bumped and grinded all around that damn place and had the best time of my life! I wasn't worried about what people thought about me because i felt totally accepted.

The transvestite who did the splits in front of me was the highlight of my night. I could not resist going up to her and inquiring “so, em, er………..what do you do with your junk when you do the splits?” I thought she/he would bust a gut laughing at me…….she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear “duct tape baby, duct tape!”…..It just doesn’t get any better than that.

I have literally not had that much fun in a very long time! I want to live my life with reckless abandon………..I want to dance like no one is watching……..I want to be overtly sexual………….and that is why I want to come back in my next life as a gay man…..

Dachshund · « **Reply #1 on:** August 06, 2006, 11:20:38 pm »

Girl, you ARE a gay man, and you just don't know it...you like pee-pee, and you are fabulous. Oh yeah, you are a big mo!

You make me yearn for the nightlife.

You go girl!
Hal

[attachment deleted by admin]

jkinatl2 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 06, 2006, 11:22:25 pm »

I wish they made a bigger smile

David_CA · « **Reply #3 on:** August 06, 2006, 11:26:52 pm »

Quote from: jkinatl2 on August 06, 2006, 11:22:25 pm

I wish they made a bigger smile

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking. That post made me laugh ... I'm looking forward to some fun clubbin' in Montreal!

David

Trish · « **Reply #4 on:** August 06, 2006, 11:48:11 pm »

Quote from: Sdgirl on August 06, 2006, 10:54:22 pm

The transvestite who did the splits in front of me was the highlight of my night. I could not resist going up to her and inquiring “so, em, er………..what do you do with your junk when you do the splits?” I thought she/he would bust a gut laughing at me…….she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear “duct tape baby, duct tape!”…..It just doesn’t get any better than that.

I had to laugh at this Lisa...

When we went to Toronto last year, we went to a drag show and it blew my mind. I kept wondering, what on earth do they do with "IT." Anyways, to make a long story short, as we were heading back to the hotel, Jan, myself and Brian (Quarterhorse) lagged behind a bit and I just had to ask Brian, "Where do they put their package?"

In the middle of the street Brian did all the moves that they do. He was moving his arms here & there, like he was wrapping himself up and he simply said they use "duct tape." I couldn't believe it. I was dumbfounded.

But the best part of all was seeing Rocky and the rest of the gang... wondering what the hell Brian was doing flailing his arms all about and putting his hands between his legs and all. The look on Rocky's face was priceless. What a good time...

DancerBoy · « **Reply #5 on:** August 07, 2006, 12:20:40 am »

I wanna be a gay man too...

anniebc · « **Reply #6 on:** August 07, 2006, 12:27:58 am »

..thanks Lisa that was great reading...

When my time comes keep your eye out for me because I WILL come looking for you.. you know where all the good clubs are now...

Hugs
Jan

zephyr · « **Reply #7 on:** August 07, 2006, 12:31:22 am »

[size=18LMAO!!!pt][/size]
Girlfriend, you have such a great sense of humor, I can't tell you how long it's been since I LAUGHED so hard!!

DUCT TAPE??? OMG!!

A POLE? LOL!!

Can't wait to go out with you when I get to San Diego.............we are going to PARTY til the sun comes up!!

Too funny.....

Love you!

Zephie (who told you this thread was a great idea.....!)

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #8 on:** August 07, 2006, 01:44:53 am »

Oh Yeah Lisa!

I like the nightlife, I like to boogy. I another life not far away, I was a Cocktail Darling at Hamburger Mary's Waikiki. Door man at Hulas would not let me in because I always used too much product. But in Dirty Mary's back bar, I could get away with anything.

One particular night, I was dancing with a new friend and decided to lose the shoes. The bouncer said I had too much to drink and as an employee should be more responsible toward health and safety issues. I put my shoes back on and started peeling off clothes. When I was down to my underwear (and shoes), the bouncer said I should leave... But wait just a minute! I have a drink in front of me and two back-ups waiting. I was still there at sunrise.

Being a gay man does have it's advantages, especially if you like to shop. I was out with a new fellow the other day... He advised I cut my credit cards to pieces. Someone did not know me very well and I think it was the new fellow. Macy's is my Temple of Worship.

If I get to be reincarnated, I too hope to be reincarnated as a gay man. I want another go round. Hope to see you there. Have the best day
Michael

www.Commission-n-AIDS.org

lydgate · « **Reply #9 on:** August 07, 2006, 02:23:40 am »

Ah, reading that made me feel young and urban again.

"I was riding high on sex and self-esteem -- it was my time, my belle epoque..."

"And when it's over I want to say: I was there at every party and I danced to every song..."

Thanks!

Jay

david25luvit · « **Reply #10 on:** August 07, 2006, 03:05:42 am »

I love the night life...I love to boogie....and right now I'm LMAO

I also drink Grey Goose and Red Bull when I go out which I admit is rare..(maybe once or twice a week.)

but to come back as a gay man....Girl! You're a masochist Charm school is a bitch

Thanks for the laugh

Teresa · « **Reply #11 on:** August 07, 2006, 09:23:16 am »

I always wondered what they did with their "package". LOL

All the uses for duct tape amazes me.

Teresa

ACinKC · « **Reply #12 on:** August 07, 2006, 12:02:12 pm »

For jonathan and david..... THIS big enough?z

AlanBama · « **Reply #13 on:** August 07, 2006, 02:32:05 pm »

Honey,

you come back in the next life as a gay man....

I want to come back as a beautiful woman ! (note the important word here is BEAUTIFUL....with my luck, I'd probably be big as the broadside of a barn and dog ugly)

LOL

jack · « **Reply #14 on:** August 07, 2006, 03:47:20 pm »

I want to come back as myself and if that isnt possible a very easy,beautiful woman.

blondbeauty · « **Reply #15 on:** August 07, 2006, 04:36:08 pm »

Be a good person in this life and you will be reincarnated in a gay man.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #16 on:** August 07, 2006, 11:34:08 pm »

Duct Tape and WD-40 are the two most important things to carry in your tool box. Yes, I have an old sports car so I have a tool box. I can performance tune a Zenith Stromberg carbureator on the highway.

The rule is... it if moves and is not supposed to, use Duct Tape
If it doesn't move and is supposed to, use WD-40. Because I know these things, my boyfriend says, I am not gay. He said if I was truly gay, I would just call the Auto Club. I say, I have better things to do with these hands than dial a phone. Have the best day
Michael

www.Commission-on-AIDS.org

HIVworker · « **Reply #17 on:** August 07, 2006, 11:34:58 pm »

Was one of those on Alabama street? I lived on that street and that was quite the joint!

R

otherplaces · « **Reply #18 on:** August 08, 2006, 03:17:40 am »

I often wish I was a gay man, but I'm with Alan...next life I'll be a woman. I just want to wear dresses more often.

brian

JohnOso · « **Reply #19 on:** August 08, 2006, 04:52:28 am »

Quote from: Sdgirl on August 06, 2006, 10:54:22 pm

.she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear “duct tape baby, duct tape!”…..

I always thought the standard answer was, "Why, I hook it on the back of my bra strap, honey!"

When I lived in So Cal, I would go to the Flame on the odd Tuesday...Boys Night Out, they used to call it, since the Flame was at that time a rather rowdy lesbian bar (and really, aren't all lesbian bars by nature, rowdy?) I took a particularly athletic lesbionic friend one time who insisted upon stripping down to her panties and bra while dancing there....I thought we were gonna have to fight our way out of that place, Jesus Christ!

Had to take some quality time at the Vulcan Sauna after that little episode.

Take care,
John
(who thinks Lisa qualifies for honorary gay male status anyway....)

Sdgirl · « **Reply #20 on:** August 08, 2006, 08:25:51 pm »

Hey John,

The Flame IS a lesbian bar, but far from rowdy...........although there were some pretty "butch"girls there....they really cleaned it up and it is now a very "shi-shi" bar.........

lydgate · « **Reply #21 on:** August 08, 2006, 10:03:04 pm »

For all you boys who want to be reincarnated as beautiful women:

"Walking Round in Women's Underwear" (the video clip is Manga for some reason):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQJliTItc7g

livingpositively · « **Reply #22 on:** August 08, 2006, 11:16:00 pm »

GUUUUURRRRRRRL, from the stories you've told me...I do believe you already ARE a gay man.

What a fun night.

Love ya,

Shane

MoltenStorm · « **Reply #23 on:** August 09, 2006, 10:57:19 pm »

IT'S RAINING MEN! HALELUJAH!
Sounds like you had a GREAT time. Sweetie as far as we are concerned, you ARE a Homo Fabulaire!

*issues Sdgirl her official Pink card*

Now you are a card-toten' Gay man.

clarke · « **Reply #24 on:** August 10, 2006, 10:59:14 am »

Well, if reincarnation was a true thing, I'd like to be a woman!

Why?

Well, I was a s__t with women (so many women, so little time) I'd like to try it as a girl! With ummm, 3 places for "fun", it ought to be 3 times more interesting??

Jeffreyj · « **Reply #25 on:** August 13, 2006, 06:09:28 pm »

SdGIRL you really ROCK. This is the most entertaining post and thread I have ever read. As always, thanks to everyone . I love this place.

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Author Topic: I want to be reincarnated as a gay man! (Read 10805 times)