On The DL......

[caj]

Hi Ladies.....
firstly I'd like to thank all of you for sharing a piece of your life,although I've never posted reading your posts has been my therapy.I was first diagnosed November 20th 2006,one week after finding out i was pregnant and one week before being diagnosed with cervical cancer.To say my world was shattered would be an understatement.
Fast-forward to five years later and I'm just dealing with my hiv diagnoses mainly because I've been put on meds for the first time.I can't stop crying.That day hearing those words was the worst thing to ever happen to me or so I thought,during the past five years having to deal with keeping my secret,raising my kids and an abusive husband my status was put in a box and tucked away in a corner of my mind where it was only visited once every three months.....now taking that pill every night is forcing me back to reality and every time i feel as if it's too much I get on here and read,you guys make me smile and laugh and cry some more.It's comforting to know I'm not going through this alone so again thank you.


DL

[BT65]

Hi Caj ("dl")-

I'm hoping you're not with the abuser anymore.  That really can cause a lot of emotional turmoil and un-needed stress.  And quite frankly, you deserve better.  No one, and I mean no one deserves to be with an abuser, whether physical or mental or both.

Another suggestion I have is to seek therapy.  It sounds like you're having a tough time all around, and I think it would help to talk with a mental health professional.  You owe it to yourself.

About the meds.... yeah, this means you really do have HIV, and are going to have to take meds, probably for the rest of your life.  But, as a 22-year survivor, I can tell you the meds have improved greatly over what they were when I was diganosed and started treatment.   I know it's a bitch, but thankfully you caught the virus in time, before it destroyed your body.  That's something.  And your kids, that's another thing.  I have 3 grandchildren, and I can tell you I'm very grateful for them.  And I'm glad I'm around to see them. 

Please keep coming here and continue posting.  I really would like to see more from you, and welcome!

Betty

[emeraldize]

Hi Caj,

I agree with Betty --some counseling does a world of good for the mind and whatever's good for the mind is good for the body.

I so understand what you mean about the smack of reality that starting meds brings with it. I started last October after 7 years since diagnosis and not needing any. It is a game changer, but in most ways a good game changer. Make that a great game changer.

Nice to see that you've stuck your toe in and posted.

Hope wherever you are that there are some decent spring days and you can get out and walk in the fresh air.

Em

[caj]

Well I just took the last pill of my first bottle of Atripla,I was late a few times and completely forgot twice but all in all not as bad as i thought...i got absolutely no side effects.They said to take on an empty stomach @ bedtime and for me that was hard because it's when i eat the most.
I still can't believe i have this shit,now i really wish i had some fun in my life,lived a little..screwed that cute guy i met @ walmart.Somehow i envy the people who got infected from high risk activities,at least they know why.Safe sex ?but i'm married...BULLSHIT!!
My mom called last week,she was bleaching everything cause so and so was over and she heard he has aids...as always i almost screamed at her for being so ignorant and uneducated but then i remember i was my mom,i used to think it just happened to gay people and junkies,never to people like me.
I took your advice and spoke with someone or rather sat there for an hour crying but it's a step and i'll go again soon.

thanks for the warm welcome ladies.