POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: worried_college_kid on October 12, 2009, 07:20:36 pm

Title: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 12, 2009, 07:20:36 pm
Hello, I appreciate all the help you guys offer to everybody. You're really doing a fantastic job.

Here is how my story goes...

8 weeks ago i received a blowjob from a hooker for about 30 minutes. (rather lengthy, don't you think, does this increase my risk as opposed to a 2 min bj) It felt great at the time, and she kept spitting and using a lot of her saliva. I realize Saliva inhibits HIV..

what caused me to worry is the fact that I picked up Gonorrhea from this incident. I am now worried that I have also picked up HIV from this incident as well.

I've read getting a blowjob is little to no risk....however...

if i picked up gonorrhea from this incident (which has now been treated and dismissed), do my chances of getting hiv from this incident increase?

*why is it easy for gonorrhea to be transmitted through receiving oral sex but not HIV....this is the question i need help with...

what has me really worrying is the fact that when i asked her if she had hiv she just looked at me funny and didn't really give me an answer.

please help..
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on October 12, 2009, 07:58:15 pm
Worried,

Getting a blowjob is not and never has been a risk for hiv transmission. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. Not one person has ever been infected through getting blown and you certainly won't be the first.

Gonorrhea is a totally different kettle of fish. For a start, it's a bacteria, not a virus. Gono is one of the more easily transmitted STIs.  Oral gonorrhoea is quite common in those people who give a lot of blowjobs. In no way does this change your hiv risk assessment. 

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER A BLOWJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 12, 2009, 07:59:58 pm
a few other concerns...

does it have to be a lot of blood or just the tiniest little spec? since she's a hooker, she probably injects needles and smokes crack....

would that increase my chances of acquiring the virus? is that related in anyway shape or form?

it's been 8 really excruciating weeks...and i am unable to clearly focus on my school work. I'm trying to wait out the 14 week period before getting tested again, but boy is it tough...

are my concerns legit? do you think i even need to get tested? ann and andy, I would really appreciate your opinion right now.
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on October 12, 2009, 08:04:52 pm
Worried,

No, as I already told you, your concerns are NOT legit. Not one person have EVER been infected with hiv through getting a blowjob and you're not so special that you're going to be the first. It doesn't matter if there was blood in her mouth. It doesn't matter if she is a drug user. (and by the way, sex workers are people too and you do not have the right to be so judgemental. You went to a sex worker, deal with it.)

You got a NO HIV RISK blowjob. Get over it.

Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 12, 2009, 08:05:18 pm
thanks ann, i really appreciate your quick response.

so the fact that it was a 30 minute blowjob and not a 2 minute blowjob makes no difference?

the fact that i got gonorrhea from this situation doesn't increase my chances of acquiring hiv?

the fact that she may inject needles and do other major drugs, doesn't increase my chances?

do you know a HIV+ female, who has a HIV+ boyfriend, and uses condoms all the time for anal and vaginal sex but not for oral sex?  If you do, what's their take on the matter? i'm assuming if one was in a relationship of that matter, they would know a lot more on a topic like this....

i'm sorry for asking you multiple questions... i hope you can understand my anxiety and stress over this matter (which i'm sure you do)

thanks again! you are great.

Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 12, 2009, 08:06:44 pm
sorry that was at the same time as you were typing...
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 12, 2009, 08:07:54 pm
wow sorry, i meant has an HIV NEGATIVE boyfriend....
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on October 12, 2009, 08:33:30 pm
Worried,

How many times do you need to be told that getting a blowjob IS NOT A RISK FOR HIV TRANSMISSION? It doesn't matter how long the blowjob lasted. It doesn't matter if the person giving the blowjob does drugs, drinks to excess, or has a thing for midgets. It doesn't matter if they had oral gono, chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, or bad breath. IT DOESN'T MATTER! As you've been repeatedly told, not ONE person has ever been infected through getting their dick sucked and you are NOT going to be the first.

Your hiv positive mate and her bf are doing all they need to in order for him to remain hiv negative. Did you actually bother to read my first post to you? Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple! Your concerns are all about your prejudices concerning sex workers and NOTHING to do with the science of hiv. Stop being so prejudicial and judgemental.

You got your dick sucked. Grow up and get over it.

Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 12, 2009, 08:55:17 pm
Thanks again for your quick and informed response. Much appreciated.

I don't mean to be judgemental or anything like that towards sex workers, it's just that i'm extremely paranoid and depressed right now.

I think it has to do with the fact that I picked up an STI...which has me wondering about the what if's....this is all new to me and even though I have a better understanding of the concept now, it's natural to still feel alittle bit of anxiety.

Nonetheless, I thank you for your time and am sorry if I offended you in any way.


*** Now, you're really going to hate me but....

how come sites like the CDC and even a few others have a different approach, or different response whenever this question arises?

Are they trying to perhaps limit people's sexual activity by saying there is a risk involved? In an attempt to help stop the spread of the virus? What  other agenda could they possibly have which would lead them to post information, that would lead people to have serious panick attacks?

Thanks Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on October 12, 2009, 09:29:08 pm
Worried,

What other agenda? Indeed. The CDC is funded by the US government, a government that for the last few years has been EXTREMELY sex negative. They've funded Abstinence Only programs, despite the overwhelming evidence that THEY DO NOT WORK. They don't want anyone outside a traditional, heterosexual marriage to have sex. It really is that simple - it's scaremongering. And it sucks.

The bottom line where you are concerned is that you aren't going to get hiv from a blowjob, no matter what details you want to throw in and no matter how it makes you feel. Feelings aren't facts.

All you need to do is to use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, with ANYONE. Don't think that pretty sorority girl is any less likely to be infected with hiv than a sex worker. You'd never in a million years think I had hiv by looking at me or knowing my history, but I do. So could she. Use condoms and you won't have to worry about hiv.

Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Andy Velez on October 13, 2009, 04:38:01 pm
I really don't have anything to add to what Ann has covered very thoroughly for you in terms of risks and non-risks sexually.

As far as your anxiety is concerned, perhaps you are not very experienced sexually. If that is so, then it's both an exciting and scary time for you as you explore your sexuality. It takes a long time -- say a lifetime -- to sort it all out. Just make sure you're always using condoms for intercourse and you will be well protected as far as sex and HIV are concerned.

For the rest of it, go at the pace that is right for you and avoid doing anything that will make you feel lousy about yourself afterwards is a good guideline to follow.

Cheers.
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 15, 2009, 08:11:11 pm
Thanks a bunch Andy. However, I still have some concerns.

It has now been exactly 8 weeks. Should I wait the 5 more weeks or am i able to go ahead and get tested now?

Also, how are you guys just oh so sure that it's impossible from a blowjob? I read something somewhere else that said something similar to this:

" Is Oral sex a risk?

Yes, one documented case includes a man receiving fellatio from a prostitute "


I tried finding the link, but I don't think that matters enough to have it posted here.

Why would a government site post something like that? To scare the snot right out of me?

Also, 3 weeks after the incident i had pain in my groin area, mild pain in my left armpit, and a minor rash as well.  I've also been going to the dumper about 2-3 times a day now, as opposed to before when it was like once a day...also...this usually happens only when i'm about to fall asleep, but my throat will start to hurt.

Can ANXIETY really cause all this? Big coincedence?

I know you guys read this, roll your eyes and dismiss it. But to be in this situation right now is the scariest thing i've ever been through as of today.

ANN, i'm not sure if i remember this correctly or not, but I THINK I remember you saying you are HIV positive and you were with a man who was negative for 8 years. Did you say you performed oral sex on him for 8 years and he's still negative? Or did you say you did it once?

I'm sorry to be a bother, but i've never been this depressed in my entire life.

Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 16, 2009, 03:08:42 am
One more thing guys, I think this is the REAL reason behind my anxiety and stress.....this is the question i need help with the most...

Let's say she had Gonnorrhea for a a few months (and assuming she didn't know so she didn't get it treated), and was also HIV positive....since she has both, and since i already know i picked up gonorrhea from this incident... wouldn't it be very likely that I also picked up HIV too?

Not too of the other other threads regarding Oral/HIV have the Gonorrhea twist to it....


** Do my chances of acquiring HIV increase if the lady giving me a blowjob has had Gonorrhea untreated for months, and also has HIV....(and we already know that i picked up Gono from this) ...why or why not please help.


Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me relax a little.
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 16, 2009, 04:29:49 am
Ok so I've been reading about this all night, (literally 8 hrs now, its 4:30am) and evidence seems to point that if someone has gonorrhea present in the throat and is also hiv +... then the likelyhood of them passing BOTH infections to the person who is receiving oral sex increases dramatically.

is this true??? thaaaaaanks guys  ??? :'(
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 16, 2009, 08:47:39 am
.....still haven't gone to sleep, got class in 45 minutes....
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on October 16, 2009, 09:30:25 am
Worried,

What part of NOT ONE PERSON HAS EVER BEEN INFECTED WITH HIV THROUGH GETTING BLOWN  don't you understand? I've never heard of this case you cite where someone was allegedly infected through getting blown by a sex worker. I haven't been reading about transmission issues "all night", I've been reading about them for nearly ten years.

And yes, I was with a negative man for over eight years and believe me, he got plenty of blowjobs during that time. He's hiv negative to this day because we used condoms for intercourse, which is all we needed to do to protect him. I don't just talk the talk, I walk the walk.

If you cannot bring yourself to believe us, go test and collect your negative result. However, you will not be permitted to use this forum to go on and on about your NO RISK blowjob. If you read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Andy Velez on October 16, 2009, 09:38:47 am
Hi,

I am responding only because you PM'd me and not because there is anything more to add to what you have already been told. Fortunately fears, feelings and doubts are not facts. And the facts of HIV science unquestionably point to the absolute non-risk of getting HIV through receiving a blowjob.

As paramount to you as this concern is at the moment, you're not going to make history by becoming the first to become infected through one of the most common of sexual acts. Other STDs are much easier to acquire as you have also been advised.

Go ahead and test now if you need the inevitable negative result for your peace of mind. Getting a negative result is a slam dunk for you.

If you can't let go of this unwarranted concern then perhaps you might find talking with a counselor at school to be helpful.

No matter what your fears are telling you to the contrary, HIV is not your problem. If you continue to come back here about this situation you're definitely going to get that Time Out which Ann has warned you about.

We've been at this for a long time here and if there was any reason for doubt we would know and we would tell you.

Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 16, 2009, 09:45:04 am
I'm sorry guys, i dont mean to be a bother......however in your latest responses you didn't address my cause.

As I stated, the reason i'm freaking out isn't because it's just a blowjob....but i got gonorrhea from this incident therefore...


**Do my chances of acquiring HIV increase if the lady giving me a blowjob has had Gonorrhea untreated for months, and also has HIV....(and we already know that i picked up Gono from this) ...why or why not please help.


That is ALL I need help with understanding, please don't give me a timeout or just respond by saying no you dont HIV...
I really dont want to be banned. I'm sorry!
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on October 16, 2009, 09:53:29 am
Worried,

I'm well aware that you got gonorrhea from this blowjob. I addressed this earlier on in your thread. When it comes to oral, it makes no difference. You've already been told that saliva is not infectious and gono doesn't change that fact. You've already been told about the anti-hiv properties of saliva and gono doesn't change that fact either.

I take it you've read reports that the presence of other STIs can increase hiv risk. This concerns unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, NOT getting a blowjob.

You've also already been told that if you cannot bring yourself to believe us, go test and collect your negative result. You can test now (eight weeks) because if you are infected, you'll test positive by now. You don't need to confirm your inevitable negative result at three months because you did NOT have a risk in the first place. Regardless of the gonorrhea.

Your warning still stands. You can post your negative results if you decide to test, but we're not going to permit you to use this forum to continue to fret over your no hiv risk blowjob.

Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Andy Velez on October 16, 2009, 09:54:19 am
OK. No, having gotten another STD, in this case gonorrhea, does not increase the risk for HIV.

If you already had an active STD that would make you more vulnerable to HIV if you were having unprotected intercourse. But no, the gonorrhea absolutely does not affect our evaluation of your non-risk for HIV blowjob.

Period.
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on October 17, 2009, 10:24:22 pm
Thanks again.

I just tried looking through previous archives on this site, in hopes of finding the links where you guys speak of all these scientifically proven extensive studies that all say NO NO NO. I couldn't find them, if it's not too much to ask, can I please be redirected to the links?

Thank you so much.

If I continue to engrave that info into my head, along with everything else you guys have told me, one would assume that i'd start to feel alittle better eventually, right? Atleast to get me through until I get tested.

I hope this post did not get me banned, as i'm going to NEED to visit my own thread regularly to drill this stuff into my brain.

Thanks again!
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on October 18, 2009, 08:39:34 am
Worried,

I don't know what links you're talking about.

And yes, you are going to get that time out I warned you about. You'll still be able to read your thread, but you won't be able to use the forum to wring your hands over your NO RISK blowjob. You got your dick sucked, you got gono, get over it. Not one person has ever been infected with hiv through getting blown and you will not be the first.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: worried_college_kid on November 23, 2009, 04:17:07 am
OK, just coming back to post my results.....

I went in and got tested at 10.5 weeks and my results were NEGATIVE. This really helped put my mind to rest, as did you Ann and Andy.

Thank you very much...

To everyone else who reads this...TRUST & BELIEVE what Ann and Andy tell you. They are clearly very well informed and their objective is NOT to comfort you. It truly is to provide you with the REAL facts pertaining to this very scary subject. Other sites have hidden agendas such as trying to eliminate all sexual activity unless you're in a monagamous heterosexual relationship, in an attempt to help stop the spreading of not only HIV, but all STI's in general.

Once again.....THANK YOU and God Bless.
Title: Re: Oral Sex and potential HIV Transmission, prostitute
Post by: Ann on November 23, 2009, 07:18:16 am
Kid,

You're welcome, glad we were of some help. Your negative result is no surprise.

Remember to use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will continue to avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann