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Author Topic: Who should talk?  (Read 5019 times)

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Offline Coffee

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Who should talk?
« on: December 02, 2007, 03:58:10 am »
Since I have been diagnosed (and I have been very positive about it - sorry pun) I know my family must have questions... they talk to each other about it but never talk to me about it - even if I ask them straight out.

Should I be worried?
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Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2007, 04:36:44 am »
Based on the limited info your post has provided I'd venture to guess you are referring to, specifically, the comfort zone of conversations?
If that's the case then perhaps their adustment level is not as advanced as yours. It takes time to absorb the full impact of the news and different people handle this differently. While it seems odd I don't see cause for alarm.
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Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2007, 07:09:40 am »
What would you have to be worried about?  If it bothers you then tell them.
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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2007, 09:48:23 am »
It took me about 3 yrs until I told my parents..
So take you time, when and if the timing is right, then let them know..

My family had an idea I may of had it, because my lover of 10 yrs died of aids..

So of course they were talking..........but I wasnt read to admit this to my parents
family or friends...

guess i was still in shock myself..

Timing is everything....Hope that helps.. ???
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Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline Basquo

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  • Posts: 3,385
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2007, 03:06:31 pm »
If they don't talk to you about it, how did you find out they talk to each other? A family friend?
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Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,031
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2007, 03:25:57 pm »
It's prolly taking them time to get use to the fact. I wouldn't sweat it if they are not talking to you about it. You made it clear that you wanted to talk. Maybe they just weren't ready or really don't know what to say. I am sure when the time comes someone will come forward then you'll get swamped with questions.
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Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline Coffee

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2007, 11:10:07 am »
get the feeling that when I mention it that they are scared of what may come out... or where the subject matter will go. I spoke to my sister in law and asked her if they discuss it... and they said they they do... when asked about why they don't talk to me about it they replied that she wasn't sure.

I just want them to be comfortable with it because I am!
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Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,031
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2007, 02:26:02 pm »
I understand what you are saying. Since the sis-n-law is telling you what is going on with them, why don't you have her speak on your behalf for now. You know, like have her say to them that you really would like to sit and talk with them. And since you are so comfortable with it then have her relay that too. It sounds like to me they might have some questions that they think are embarrassing. Just my thoughts...
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Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2007, 06:17:07 pm »
Why don't you just ask them?
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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,906
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2008, 08:37:27 pm »
hey coffee ,
                    I know how you feel !

  my sisters-in-law  talk about me all the time !

 they are concerned THEIR brother is in danger !

 My parntner and I have been together 28 years !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  This Girls all work in the medical field , but can NOT look past the fact thier
brother is a QUEER!

   I have found any time I have opened up , it is just thrown in my face !

 NO talking  HIV with Bible  preachers !

 I hope you find peace with your family !

 MY  Siblings  in Connecticut , have NO issue with discussing  HIV , but they are not
afraid of it either !

   they have  learned , I think threw work , teachers  are informed !
 I think just to be able to give support !

   Sometimes we talk , and I confuse them , because I do not know all .

   Break into talk  a little at a time , let them know it hurts to be an outsider !

 I have done this . with the Missouri girls , but they will never change ,GOD HATES US !

      I wish you comfort in knowing the forums are a place to talk and get insites
and maybe , if they are willing a place for relitives to PEEK into our lives and learn
something !

                                                                    best of life , karl
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" Live and let Live "

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: Who should talk?
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2008, 08:24:34 am »
Hey, Karl -- please check the dates of the threads you are replying to.  Reviving old threads like this (2007), especially when the original poster hasn't been active in the forums since the thread was posted, serves no purpose, and ends up wasting other member's time (everyone reads the thread, and others start responding, not realizing how old the thread is, and that the member they are responding to is long gone).

Thanks in advance for helping us here.

Peter
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