very anxious

[the edge]

Hi all,
I've been reading through many of the posts and I have the utmost respect for all of you dealing with HIV/Aids whether man, woman, gay, white, black, brown or blue.

I'm really anxious as I believe I might be HIV+.

Basically, my last HIV- was some time in 2005. Ever since, I have engaged with multiple female sex partners (maybe 30 different ladies) of whom HIV status is unknown. I'd expect that some of the might been positives. Most of them were one night stands. Mostly, girls I picked up in the inner city where hiv appears to be more prevalent.

I have used condoms for every anal and vaginal intercourse, but not for oral sex. I know oral sex is low risk, but still risk.
 
I had 3 incidents in which the condom remained inside her after I pulled off. So I'm really scared about these 3 incidents.

I also had 1 incident where the condom broke. On that occasion (around sept. 2010), I was using one of those penis sleeves that fit on the penis like a glove on top of the condom. Some of you might have seen them in the sex toys shops online. You insert the penis in it and the toy provide an extra couple of inches in length, so the penis is fully covered from the head all the way down the shaft. The sleeve is actually pretty thick, about 3-4 mm thick, so it does reduce sensation. So, in other words, I was using the condom, and on top of it I was wearing the sleeve. The toy was clean. She had ordered it and in fact I opened the box. Anyways, I had sex with this girl but after I came and removed the sleeve I realized the condom was broken. The toy remained on at all times and had no visible holes whatsoever, so all the semen remained trapped inside the sleeve.

Problem is that over the years I have experienced symptoms that are very weird. Some of symptoms includes chest pain with some arrythmia, dizziness, maybe low blood pressure. EKG's came clear.
Over the last couple of years I have developed a very slight pain on my upper quadrant of my abdomen. Pain is really mild as to be kidney or gallbladder stones. It usually appears after I eat. However, recent  gallbladder tests were inconclusive. I'm still following up with the specialist.  Same goes for my heart, just about to go on a holter monitor. My concern is that chest pain and heart palpitations is often related with esophageal yeast infection brought about HIV.
I have also had a problem with swollen nodes right behind my right ear. Weird thing is that this problem only occurs once a year at some point in the summer. I get no fever or chills, but it causes some pain, nothing that tylenol cannot control, and after 6-7 days it goes away.
I have also had night sweats. Maybe 5-7 random episodes on different random nights..one at a time, but nothing consistent.
I have also had mild flus, usually once a year, but the last couple of times I've had mild fevers that quickly disappeared with ibuprofen.

But the breaking bad news is that I have 2 warts on my shaft. I'm freaking out about it because I have read they might be direct result of HIV. I cannot sleep. I've had panic attacks. I'm just going nuts thinking what I am gonna do if indeed this is HIV. I'm scrambling to find out if my insurance cover the meds, etc.

If you guys/girls have any insights I will greatly appreciate. I feel like I already have 2 strikes, and just need the 3rd strike & out.

Thanx



 


     



     

[jkinatl2]

I have used condoms for every anal and vaginal intercourse, but not for oral sex. I know oral sex is low risk, but still risk.

Your information is incorrect. Performing oral sex on a female is not considered a risk for HIV. As for the incidents in which the condom slipped off, an infection through such an incident would be extraordinarily unlikely (think: scientific paper unlikely).

However, why have you not had full STD screenings twice a year if you are being sexually active? Warts on your shaft are in no way an HIV indication. They are indicative of HPV, a virus that is MUCH MORE easy to transmit  - and which can do serious damage to females.

I suggest you implement a twice-yearly STD screening including a routine HIV test. Not because I think you may in any way have contracted HIV from the incidents you describe, but because its simply the responsible thing to do.

[the edge]

Thanx for the response.

One thing that concerns me is privacy and confidentiality if i test positive for HIV.
My understanding is that clinics must disclose new infected patients to the federal government under federal law.  They say that it is for "statistical" purposes. I'm not sure if the patient's name & address is within the scope of disclosure. I say it is because the information I gathered from the clinic so implies. Something along the lines of "we will disclose your information according to XYZ federal law and in order to protect safety of those in immediate danger and others". How would they protect "others" if they don't get my info?

For reasons that I won't explain, let's say that I cannot afford to have a federal agency to know my status at least for the following 8 months.
I'm holding out on Having sex for now. In fact, I'm so freaked out that i'm in the PUP list.
This shit is not good 
 
 

[Ann]

edge,

Confidentiality laws are the last thing you should be worrying about. It's true they are in place for statistical purposes - they're not there so everyone can know you're poz. There is also something in place called HIPAA laws that protect your medical information.

Nothing - nothing - you describe has been a risk for hiv infection. Your intercourse was protected. The sleeve incident was protected and when a condom slips off during withdrawal, you're still protected. Hold on to the darn thing next time.

Getting a blowjob is not a risk and neither is going down on a woman.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[Ann]

Edge,

I deleted the post you left in a thread over in the Living forum.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

With the exception of the “Am I Infected?” and “Off Topic” Forums, the AIDSmeds.com Forums are intended for people who have been diagnosed with HIV (or their loved ones/caregivers).  If you are questioning or unaware of your HIV status, please refrain from posting messages or questions in the Forums intended for HIV-positive people.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

[the edge]

I found a place that offer 100% confidential STD testing so I'll do it because I've been feeling so ill living in complete panic and anxiety.

They offer the hiv antibody test with WB confirmation. My question is, what are the chances of getting an inaccurate result due to the fact that I have a co-infection?  I have genital warts at this time which as far as I know are indicative of HPV, possibly HIV of course.

Thanx

[Andy Velez]

Having genital warts would not affect the accuracy of your test result. Nor are they an indication of HIV status.

You are worrying needlessly about HIV. Given what you have reported I certainly expect you to test negative. Essentially your getting tested is strictly for your peace of mind and not because you had a for real risk, which you didn't.

[Ann]

Edge,

I hope you have those genital warts taken care of while you're there. As JK pointed out in reply #1, the virus that causes genital warts (HPV) can cause a lot of damage to females, and it is MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. HPV can be transmitted through simple skin-to-skin contact, unlike hiv.

I also fully expect you to test hiv negative.

Ann

[the edge]

I got tested. I dropped the blood sample yesterday in the AM and 24 hours later i collected a negative result. UUFFFFFFF. Let me tell you that making my mind wasn't easy. My fears were feeding my brain and made anxious and felt very ill. I can breath now. I still have an app with my doctor to take care of the warts and will seek further medical treatment to prevent passing what appears to be HPV to my female partners in the future. I used stdexpress online testing service which has a very quick turnaround and it is completely anonymous. You may test under a pretend name and pay cash via western union.

Anyway, I want to thank you for putting the time and effort in responding to my questions. I want to thank you for delivering to the world, whether education or support. Your work is greatly appreciated and you have probably saved hundreds of lives without even knowing it.

I have 1 question and 1 suggestion:

1. I would like to be more actively involved with the HIV/AIDS community. I think I can certainly contribute with some funds but I'd like to know what would be a reputable organization to donate my money with assurance that the funds will be well spent. I was thinking something along the lines of "adopt a patient" type of program (if there's such a thing), OR i can volunteer my time although my background does not relate to emotional support. I'm just any guy who respects people regardless. I'm sensitive to HIV/AIDS as this touched a member of my family in the early days....so I'm open to suggestions
 
2. May I suggest to revise some of the posting restrictions, especially those limited to only hiv+? One of my posts was removed (rightfully so), but I think I was providing good guidance to an issue relating to HIV employment discrimination. My point is that due to the stringent restrictions members might be missing out on important inputs from people who cannot post because of their negative status. I don't know, I suggest opening another section.

Thank you






 

[Andy Velez]

That's happy news about your negative result. Congratulations.

As for wanting to do service and/or donate related to HIV/AIDS, contact any AIDS service organization in your area about that.

Your suggestions are duly noted about our rules. I can tell you that the restrictions were placed after a long period of throught and evaluation based on problems which arose when unqualified members were giving out incorrect and disturbing misinformation to other members.

Good luck to you now.