snikt06:
I had posted under the same user name on the old boards and I felt I needed to post again. First of all, thank you so much to the experts that post here as well as the good people that put up this site, you really make a difference in this world and I respect your efforts. Secondly, and why I came here to post tonight is that two big things happened to me today...I received the results of my six week test, which were negative, as well as I told my wife that I cheated and of my concern over HIV. Both were difficult and I deserved the pain that each caused, the waiting for the results as well as the pain that I caused my wife. Although I wish with all my heart I didn't have to cause the pain in her. I really don't feel as if I have friends that I could confide in like I do here, which is unfortunate but something I hope to rectify. My other reason for posting tonight is because I still think I may be positive because of all the symptoms I am showing as well as the time frame that they are with me. I have had muscle aches, joint aches, short low grade fevers, dry spots of skin on my leg and foot, nausea, diarrhea, tingling hands and feet, chills when I wake up, bruises that go away slower than usual (from the needle used to draw blood), etc. I could continue on with my six week negative if only I knew it was something else. My results for a liver test were higher than normal as well so I will be going to my primary care doctor in 3 days. I also had some xrays done of my lower back and chest, of these I know nothing yet. The info that I have from this site as well as others is a mixed bag of encouraging as well as not so encouraging concerning HIV, I mean a six week negative is good, if not conclusive, news, right? So why do I feel as if I am being ravaged (please forgive the term) by this virus? I have spoken with professional therapists as well but we haven't been able to get into my anxiety of the situation that well yet. I realize that this post is long as well as I know in order for you to reply with any authority you need to now my exposure, so without further ado... On April 21st I was with a prostitute in Mexico, she gave me unprotected oral and then we had protected vaginal sex. Afterwards, I went home and masterbated without cleaning, twice. I originally went to the doctor because of sore testicles and was given antibiotics, std tests were negative. From there the pain went up my abdomen into the pubic area and around to my back. Then pain in muscles, felt disconnected from reality and felt week, etc. Other things, too but my post is already too long. Thank you again for reading.
jkinatl2:
<< she gave me unprotected oral and then we had protected vaginal sex>>
This is the IMPORTANT part of your post. Your risk. In your case, as I am certain you were told in the old forum, there was none.
Whatever is going on with you, it CANNOT be HIV anymore than I can be pregnant.
And seriously, my mood swings? Outrageous.
Please continue to work with your doctor and therapist to discover the source of your symptoms. Whatever they might be, HIV cannot ... CANNOT ... be the source.
AlexQ:
you gotta let it go somehow...and you will (it takes time)...
Please focus on, The FACTS (i.e. Reality): 1) oral...not a risk 2) Protected vaginal, yes Protected (look that up in the dictionary) 3) a negative six week hiv test (in some parts of the world that timeframe is considered conclusive...i.e. golden)
The One and Only conclusion: YOu do not have hiv...what you have is hiv anxiety (which is real as can be attested by this site, the body, and my own personal experience...it was pure hell).
The mind is powerful...it sometimes makes you stray away from reality (sometimes for your benefit and sometimes not)
Don't punish youself anymore...you are just human (or a dog just like the rest of us as Andy Velez says).
It was courageous of you to tell your wife (good on you...pat yourself for that one). Don't know if the relationship will survive or get stronger but you gave your wife the full infomation...also perhaps you aren't concsious of it but something in the marriage was not fulfilling you if you sought a prostitute and that you have some issues to make it fail (it could just be that you wanted some sex...but you don't seem the type). Who knows...please don't give up on the therapist...that also takes time to figure out.
For me the anxiety went away after 4 months (after the conclusive 13 weeks and few more to adjust...and believe me the symptoms that you list i've had them all and more...I am guessing that you are checking your tongue everytime you are near a mirror and are checking for rashes...chills at night...had them too...i lost 25 lbs during my ordeal...trust us you aren't infected)...but if i was a smart man i would've listened to the people here and not worried about it at day 1...which is your case. (this is to point to you that you will get rid of the anxiety sooner or later...hopefully sooner).
Be kind to youself...
snikt06:
Thank you for the replies. I think me and the wifey are going to be able to work through this, I just have to be the one that cooks dinner for a couple of months :) With everything that is going on, I just need either some kind of other medical reason for my pains and/or a 3 month negative to be able to get over this HIV hill. And in the meantime, I gotta learn how to cook something other than omelettes.
Andy Velez:
Just want to concur with the opinions that you were not at risk for HIV in this incident you are concerned about. Condoms provide very effective protection no matter whom you are with. Receiving oral is absolutely not a risk in anyway nor is post-coital masturbation, even if you hadn't cleaned up from the prior sex.
So whatever is going on in terms of symptms has absolutely no relation to HIV, as your 6 weeks test has not surprisingly confirmed.
From what you have written it seems as if your doctor is checking things out. If symptoms persist talk with him again.
Now that you have talked with your wife you can use this situation as an opportunity for greater intimacy. As with many situations an event like this can either pull a couple apart or be the stimulus to draw closer together. It's an ego blow to a partner to learn about infidelity, but it's not an insurmountable one. There will have to be some healing around the subject, and being open to direct, simple conversation is one way to achieve that.
As for cooking, there's always pasta and with summertime upon us really good salads are great too.
Good luck with straightening things out.
As far as HIV is concerned, if you decide to re-test at 13 weeks I certainly expect you will test negative again.