newly diagnosed 3 months ago (just turned 21)

[jgoh444]

hello all. i've been lurking around here for quite a while and figured it be beneficial to register and introduce myself. i tested positive in a rather annoying way. my partner of four years left to california after he was released in jail in 2012 to stay with family for a while and went on a year long meth and sex binge (blahblah). Long story short, I took him back because I know addiction is a disease and he's dealt with various addictions throughout our entire relationship. I knew he was being reckless and hadn't been tested, but I was so happy to have him back safe with me, I neglected all of that.

 Following him being tested and testing positive, I went and got tested. I believed I was at a fair risk considering we had unprotected sex multiple times (me on top), and started accepting that I was likely poz. I got the call at work from a nurse saying my test was neg...I was overjoyed and shocked and sad at the same time because I know my partner would feel alone. Well, about two months later I got a call from public health for my partner wanting to get a hold of him and while i was talking to him he started saying something along the lines of, "well since i have you on the phone right now, I see you recently tested poz as well..how are you dealing".. so on and so forth. I thought obviously there was a mistake so i called my doctors and sure enough a nurse had read the test wrong and I had been poz all along. I was more so weirded out that she didn't tell me another confirmatory test would be done or anything along the lines of we're going to test further, because that would have indicated to me that everything wasnt peachy.

So that was in June '13 and I went back and forth all summer being okay with my diagnosis and not being okay. I've always been healthy, exercised, juiced, drank green tea every day, probiotics, bee pollen, ate a lot of fruits and veggies, etc. I finally went in to the doctor a few weeks ago and got my numbers in. My CD4's were 521 and VL @ 120,000. When my partner went in he was at 300CD4 and somewhere near 250,000. He has been on Atripla since about two weeks after he tested poz. I'm glad he got the intial medical help he needed. I'm still not on meds, but plan to be prescribed Stribild in a couple of weeks after my next ID visit. I'm really really holistic about my body and health and accepting that this will be a lifelong journey has been hard as im sure it was for everyone.

I have some valid concerns regarding my partner and my treatment. I know I will be crazy about adhering exactly at the same time every day etc when it comes to taking my meds. My partner is still abusing misc. drugs and takes his atripla (when he remembers) and thinks it's fine because his doctors to tell him to just take it when he remembers and that he'll be okay. I have an alarm on my phone set every day to remind him to take it and he just neglects it and at the end of the day forgets to take it which makes me extremely mad. We're still also having unprotected sex which I believe would also slow his treatment, and wouldn't it also start to potentially create a resistance to Atripla for myself? I wish he wouldn't be a stubborn idiot and just listen to me. Our entire relationship has been me trying and trying to help him and him almost doing good then falling off the deep end time after time after time. To say we have a turbulent relationship would be a very nice way of describing it, but I can't leave him alone. He's an illegal immigrant, his family is done with him for now, he doesn't have a job, etc. There are a lot of stress factors.


So my main few questions going into this-
Will i build a resistance to his drugs if he keeps just missing doses?

If I take a different med than him and he starts adhering 100% to his meds, could we have unprotected sex without any risks of any weird interaction?

I've had a lymph node in my neck that's been huge for quite a while, as well as a bunch of other small enlarged nodes in my neck, armpits, groin, etc. Is it likely these will go down once I'm being treated?

Is 521 a decent CD4 count?

Sorry for the rant and jumbled post, but Hello.

[drewm]

Welcome to the forums. Folks will be along to help answer your questions but here are a few:

521 is a decent CD4 count. The mail goal is to get the VL down to undetectable. Also, its important to look at lab trends over several months as opposed to one set of labs.

Adherence to the meds is very important.

All the best 

[ohwell]

You can leave him alone (if you want), at the end of the day you have yo help yourself and he has to help himself. Be with him and help him if he wants to be helped.

You said you are still having unprotected sex, i'm no expert but from what i have read, regarding hiv, i think is ok to have unprotected sex BUUUUUUUUT  we are only talking about hiv. Are you sure he will not be having unprotected sex with other guys in one of his drug binges?

Right now you are dealing with HIV, but you could get Hep C, Syphilis, etc.

Love him and love yourself but you have to set boundaries, and you cannot be his babysitter.

[Bowie-esq]

Hi jgoh444, welcome to the forum.

My advice over your concerns for your future medication adherence is begin training yourself now, this is how I got myself in to a routine. You seem like you take good care of yourself so include in your daily regime a vitamin at a set time that would correspond to taking Strilibild. Buy yourself a weekly pill box, lay out a vitamin a day and begin the process now. Then when the time comes you simply switch or add in Stribild. This way you are prepared and your doctor can see that you're able to stick to the timings needed for the medication.

The lymph nodes: I had/some times have similar. This is the body creating white blood cells and will settle down with the introduction of medication, or will calm down itself.

Cd4 521: is good and within save and normal limits. This will be monitored and if seen to be dropping (along with Cd4 % and level of virus) then medication will be introduced. Regular blood checks will indicate to your doctor how recent your conversion is and how your immune system is compensated.

It sounds a very stressful situation with your boyfriend. Resistance to medication will build if adherence is not regular. But, like my father always says, some people you just can't help. If he wants to stop his drug taking, adhere to medication, and care for you in return, only he can choose to do that.

Good luck, we're all here for you so keep talking

X

[oksikoko]

Hey, jgoh444. I just wanted to pipe in on one of your issues.

I'm also trying to help someone stay adherent with meds, and there are also substance issues (which make him forget) involved. Half the time he's grateful I reminded him, and the other half he's irritated. We go through the same dance with doctors' appointments. The only thing I hate more than being contagious is being irritating, so it's a tough line for me to walk.

But no one else is looking out for this guy, and I don't want to just write him off even if he's written himself off, or so it seems most days. I'm 100% with mine, and I just want him to have the same benefits I do because of good adherence.

I don't really have any advice, but just wanted you to know you're not alone. I don't have sex with him, though I used to, so I don't have to worry about resistance issues. He gets a lot of opportunistic infections, though, and I worry about exposing myself to too much pneumonia, etc.

I don't *think* you have to worry about resistance as long as you're adherent to your own meds, but there is a lot of differing opinion on these issues. Transfer of the virus is more complex and happens relatively rarely per encounter, definitely not with each encounter (HIV is not as contagious as some other diseases - it's just more serious than many). Even if there is a transfer, it would have to be one of the resistant virions to pose any threat to you, and even then, I think the body, especially the HAART-enhanced body, has ways of dealing with virions - again, not every transfer results in infection. My point is that I don't think you have to worry too much about this, but it's worth mentioning to your doctor to see what his/her opinion is.

[Theyer]

Hi , welcome .

Reading your thread the bit that leaves me worried is the relationship with your BF, it reminds me off my own history. I found writting on codependency very helpful to me and in the end to said BF.

Also living with HIV is a body and head thing both need attention but you know that already . Good luck with it all.

m