Still scared...

[dhivpol]

Hey guys...Still new to being poz. I found out September 16, 2008 and not on any types of meds yet, but have a couple questions. My blood work is going like this :
Oct 08 - VL 37000 / CD4 383
Jan 09 - VL 40000 / CD4 560
Feb 09 - CD4 460 (Admitted in hospital with Staph, found out MRSA)
Mar 09 - VL 9600 / CD4 480

I am still not on any meds but my body seems to be getting infected alot. My doctor says I cant go on meds yet (Health Dept) because my numbers are okay. I have had upper resp infections, MRSA, flu, etc all within the past 4 months, I have a skin rash that will not go away but they say it isnt MRSA so I dont know what to do. Ive been on antibiotic after antibiotic but not finding anything helping. Anyone in the same shoes?

Also some days I am fine, but other days all I can think about is death, sitting here outside right now looking at life pass by, just thinking how long do I have?

Thanks for helping all!

:-)

[Elephant]

I just got back from the doctor today. My CD4 is 475 and my VL is 26,000. I do have meds as an option. (There's an rna test to determine the strain still pending) but the point is I was told that if I wanted to start on meds I could once the last test was in...

Maybe try a 2nd Dr.? I would. (The first ID Dr. I went to told me "how I would die". I'm not seeing him anymore...)  You really want to be comfortable with your Dr. For me that is very important.  It's your life and quality of life.

Just a thought,

[dtwpuck]

Can't comment about your infections as I am not a doctor.  Your VL is going in the right direction.  The CD4's tend to fluctuate a lot, so don't stress too much yet. 

But, it's ok to switch doctors if you don't feel comfortable.  However, if the health department controls whether you can go on meds, then I don't think it will make a difference.

It's also ok to feel scared.  I sure did.  It's hard not to think about your own mortality.  But, if you take care of yourself, get on meds when it's time, you will probably live a fairly normal lifespan.  I've been poz for approx  13 years, which isn't even half of some of the people on here.  I haven't had even so much a symptom in 10 years.  In fact, age related issues are my biggest health problem these days.   There was a time when I thought I'd never live to see it. 

It all probably seems overwhelming right now.  Advice:  find someone to talk to.. to reassure you, someone who's been through it already.  There are lots of long term suvivors.  The days of HIV being an automatic death sentence are over.    It's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but life is still good, still worth living.. and now you have some motivation to stay healthy.

Peace