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Author Topic: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question  (Read 11838 times)

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Offline robinhunter

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hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« on: February 28, 2012, 06:23:50 am »
Hi im hoping that perhaps i can put this oral sex issue to rest once and for all..my girlfriend has a viral load of over 200,000 and a cd4 of 740 or so per her last results on feb 18 2012.I have several times performed unprotected oral sex on her as well as her on me... im a male in case you were wondering.....o.k so here is my question ..[that im sure you have heard a million times]... during our intimate time i perform oral sex unprotected on her for long lenths of time...i come in contact with and im sure ingest plenty of her vaginal fluid....please undrstand im not freaking out im not pacing back in fourth getting ready to jump off a building... truth is ... we are very serious and are planning our lives together... im 41 she is 33 ...and i have to say that this part of our intimacy together ... the [oral] part is very important to her ... and ... well ... i like doing it for her.... so... strait up ... can i keep going down on my girlfriend without the worry of infection ... i know her viral load is a little high ... not sure that matters but were working on that... :).. and btw ... we have protected intercourse ...so any help you can give to clear this up would be great.... and i hope the answer you give is what i already think....thank you

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2012, 06:26:06 am »
This thread might be better posted in our Someone I Care About Has HIV forum where you will get more responses from more members.

I'm sure one of our moderators will move it for you Robin.

Cheers,

MtD

Offline robinhunter

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2012, 06:32:53 am »
Thank you ... this web site is great i see its going to be very helpful for us ..i plan on doing alot of research on what i can do to help her improve ... health wise both physical and mental she is a great woman .... and of course our sex life is ... well important too.... we have a great one btw...but being educated on both our behalfs just makes it better if the stress of issues like this can be put to rest

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2012, 06:37:41 am »
Thank you ... this web site is great i see its going to be very helpful for us ..i plan on doing alot of research on what i can do to help her improve ... health wise both physical and mental she is a great woman .... and of course our sex life is ... well important too.... we have a great one btw...but being educated on both our behalfs just makes it better if the stress of issues like this can be put to rest

I've flagged this thread for moderator review. In the meantime you might like to take a squizz at our Lessons section (if you've not already) which has lots of useful information about how HIV is and is not transmitted.

I will say that HIV is certainly not transmitted by performing oral sex on a woman. It's unprotected anal and vaginal sex that is the problem.

MtD

Offline robinhunter

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2012, 06:43:13 am »
Thank you so much i do look forward to learning all i can about this ....nutrition and her well being is a big focus of mine..so i will certainly be spending some time on this site...ty

Offline Ann

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2012, 06:53:35 am »
Hi Robin, welcome to the forums.

I moved your thread for you. :)

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies** started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

**There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

I also have personal experience with this. I was in a serodiscordant relationship for around eight years. I always had a detectable viral load as I was not (and am not yet) on meds. We had a full sex life and the only thing we did to protect his negative status was to use condoms for intercourse. That's it, that's all you need. He remained hiv negative.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline next2u

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2012, 08:11:28 am »
Damn Ann, awesome response!
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5
sept14 cd4 990; vl ud; cd4% *
jun15 cd4 1152; vl ud; cd4% *
july15 - STRIBILD
oct15 cd4 583; vl 146; cd4% 42
mar16 cd4 860; vl 20; 44

Offline robinhunter

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2012, 06:25:53 pm »
Thank you matty and ann .... you both are great and your patience and knowledge on this topic is very appreciated ... thank you for your time and imput...  :)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2012, 09:52:43 pm »
Thank you matty and ann .... you both are great and your patience and knowledge on this topic is very appreciated ... thank you for your time and imput...  :)

We're glad we could help. Feel free to pop in whenever you need.

Best regards,

MtD

Offline mpositive

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2012, 07:10:51 am »
Wow Ann, I just read your reply here and I gotta tell you, it should probably be made into a Sticky. 
Very informative.
Thanks :) :)

Offline Rockin

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Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2012, 05:49:58 pm »
Ann Ann do the same for male-on-male oral sex as well!!  :P

 


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